Going through the spiral

[Raphael]

On Human Evolution And Possibilities

Human beings only have a certain amount of limited possibilities, yet these limits don't seem to exists because we are so complex creatures.

Nevertheless, they are here and we can see them when we compare ourselves to animals. A cheetah can run to 128 km/h, but we can't. Fishes live underwater, but most of us can only stay immersed for a few minutes without breathing. Birds can fly, but we can't. We can't do any of that without machines.

It seems to me that consciousness is trying to evolve to a new complex form by combining organic life with machines but still didn't find out how to create the next super specie that combines the best available capabilities in an elegant way.

I have the intuition that after stage turquoise and beyond, life will have exhausted all the human possibilities and therefore will create a much more advanced specie. It will maybe combine organic life with machines, or find another way, and maybe some humans will see it appear.

[Raphael]

Simplifying Fitness

The quarantine is almost over now which means that I will go back to the gym soon.

I used to care a lot about my physical appearance because I was very thin and attracted a lot of critics when I was in high-school so I started to go to the gym and take it very seriously. At a point, I was doing 5 sessions/week starting at 5:00 AM, but that was quite exhausting and inauthentic. Having a big & large bodybuilder body doesn't interest me anymore, but I still like to look good.

I'm going to simplifying how I exercise to make my life more authentic.

[Raphael]

New Fitness Program

• Monday
  • Bench Press: 3x8, 40 seconds rest
  • (Superset) Incline Bench Press + Dumbbell Fly: 3x8, 1 minute rest
  • (Superset) Arnold Press, Front Plate Raise, Rear Deltoid Fly, Plate Truck Drivers, 3x8, 1 minute rest
  • Reverse Curl: 3x8, 40 seconds rest
  • Wrist Curl: 3x8, 40 seconds rest
• Wednesday
  • Running: 30 - 60 minutes
• Friday
  • Pull-Ups: 3x8, 40 seconds rest
  • (Superset) T-Bar Row, Seated Cable Row: 3x8, 1 minute rest
  • (Superset) Dips, Dumbbell Skullcrushers: 3x8, 1 minute rest
  • Cable Triceps: 3x8, 1 minute rest
  • (Superset) Barbell Curl, Cable Curl: 3x8, 1 minute rest
  • Concentration Curl: 3x8 (both arms), 40 second rest
• Sunday
  • Full Squat: 3x8, 1 minute rest
  • Leg Press: 3x8, 1 minute rest
  • Leg Extension: 3x8, 40 seconds rest
  • Lying Leg Curl: 3x8, 40 seconds rest
  • Dead Lift: 3x8, 1 minute rest
  • Calves Raises: 3x16, 40 seconds rest

[Raphael]

On Fixing Others And Ourselves

So true and so elegantly said.

Quote

 Trying to fix others and all those quarrels are merely projections of avoided battles to be fought within.

Credits: @loub
Full Post: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/50870-experiences-of-conscious-bullying/?do=findComment&comment=656161

 

Edited June 30, 2020 by Raphael

[Raphael]

I feel like losing thousands of neurons when listening to my family's discussions.

[Raphael]

Journaling Feels Great

I recently become aware of how great it feels for me to journal. I have so many insights every day, so many things going on in my head, it feels great to release them. I will journal more in the future.

[Raphael]

Leo, Please Stop

Please, Leo, stop making such awesome deep videos. I would like to diversify my knowledge sources and listen to other thinkers, but I can't because I resonate so much with your content that I'm addicted to it

[Raphael]

Attention Neediness

I noticed myself wanted to attract attention from users on this forum by quoting them in my journals. I wanted to do it in my new journal Insights by quoting them and mentioning them so that they can notice me. Damnnn... my ego is so big, but hopefully, I'm becoming aware of it. I just decided to change my approach, so what I will do if I quote someone in my journal is instead of mentioning them I will only put a link to their profile and a link to the quoted post.

Edited July 5, 2020 by Raphael

[Raphael]

Putting Too Many Weights To My Feets

I notice that often time I put myself in very difficult situations, much more difficult than I can handle. I think that I usually do that because I want to grow and get toughed up to handle more difficult life challenges. There is some truth in this perspective, but there is also some false. The true part is that we need challenges to evolve in order to be competent in dealing with and evolving in life. The false part is that too many challenges can put someone extremely down so down that the person will not even be able to recover in the future and be negatively impacted for years or decades or maybe even for life.

I also think that I put myself in difficult situations because of a stage orange mentally. In previous situations, I wanted to be seen as macho and strong, and result-oriented, as the guy who can achieve everything by itself without the help of anyone. This is not the case. That has never been the case of any human being who ever existed because we are all intimately interconnected.

To evolve properly through life, one's needs to set calibrated challenges and proper expectations. Not enough challenges will make him/her lazy and incompetent, too much challenges will damage him/her.

[Raphael]

A Few Thoughts For The End Of The Day

1. I'm not sure what's currently happening, but I have been a little angry for the last two days. Maybe it's because my client is putting pressure on me to always go faster, it seems like he is expecting me to work 10 hours/day.
2. It's strange because many times I don't like that people take care of me, it's maybe because I want to be seen as an overachiever. My mom wants to do so many things for me that it annoys me, I feel like been treated like a baby sometimes and having no independence. I consider this to be the main failure in the way that she raised me, many times she just did too much for me where she should have put some boundaries and push me to do things on my own, except that all the rest was fine.
3. It's strange that the more alone I want to be, the more people come to me.
4. I'm started to get bored living with my family for almost one year, I feel the need to move again.

Edited July 15, 2020 by Raphael

[Raphael]

Quote

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

Norman Vincent Peale

[Raphael]

Have high standards, your minimum standards should be high so that when you focus on an objective the minimum result that you get is already a high-quality result.

[Raphael]

Strong Determination Sitting

This meditation technique is super powerful. I meditated for one hour every day for several months, I was using the do-nothing technique, it was quite challenging but I got used to it. So I wanted to change a little and started to experience with the Strong Determination Sitting technique and it was like hell, I couldn't even do it for 30 minutes most of the time. The maximum that I did was 35 minutes. I think I will continue with this technique and push it to one hour, it's very powerful and I see a lot of potentials.

Here's a quick video about it: https://youtu.be/EHI1aPUxs4s
 

[Raphael]

Just A Cute Lizard

[Raphael]

My Struggles In The Software Industry

It's very difficult for me to cope with the business side of the software industry. I really enjoy doing my work, but in a business environment, many times managers and bosses are just obsessed with time and want to go fast. Because of this, they put pressure on workers who then tend to neglect the structure and produce unstable low-quality code. I don't like working like that, it's mindless and dissatisfying work, I don't even have the time to think about the system and how to interconnect its different parts together.

I see myself as an artist when I code, I appreciate the elegance and complexity of computer programming and It's very difficult for me to work with people who only want fast results. If we compare a programmer to a classic artist like a painter, he/she doesn't want to paint fast just to sell fast and get money, a painter wants to paint because he/she loves painting. That's the same thing for me with computer programming.

[Raphael]

Emotional Blockages

I have some emotional blockages within me. Every day, I feel trapped emotion in my body, notably in my torso and a little in my face muscles. Sometimes I have difficulties to speak and articulate what I want to articulate because of past traumas and self-esteem issues.

[Raphael]

Trapped In Consciousness

I feel trapped in consciousness, I have zero control of anything that I do. I, as a human entity, is just doing what he needs to do without any control. I'm just somewhere on the path and I'm moving forward like a prisoner of my own consciousness.

I don't have the control of what I say, how I move, how I look, how smart I am, how performant I am, how I breathe. I am exactly where I need to be without choosing it. I'm not controlling the words that I'm writing. In fact, these words are creating themselves, they created everything that they needed to appear on this screen and on the screens of others. They created a worldwide infrastructure, computers, sockets, the internet, this forum, Leo, and others, they created a human entity that bought a computer and is using it to write themselves so that they can exist and show themselves to others.

All of this without any control.

This is just ...

[Raphael]

So Many People Do Dumb Shit

Warning: The following paragraph is a rant and will be seeing as toxic and insulting to some people

All my life I have been blown away by how many dumb things people do. By people, I'm talking about normal average people who just have an average life and live pretty well. They are the people that I mostly grew up with, they are people who just live life without trying to improve anything. They just do so many dumb things, it's incredible. When they eat, they eat unhealthy food without even thinking about it and the future consequences. When they entertain themselves, they entertain themselves with the stupidest entertainment possible (dumb movies, low conscious video game, sports, TV, etc.). The information that they consume is total garbage, they don't want to learn anything conscious. When they speak, they just talk shit all the time, say stupid jokes and cannot handle a deep conversation. Physical health is almost non existent for them, they usually don't have any physical activity except walking, and sometimes walking is too difficult for them so they prefer to use public transport. They don't take any responsibility for anything, that's crazy. They simply like to be dumb and say shit all day, they don't want to change, they don't want to improve.

I understand that they are where they are, I understand that they are stuck, but I am not conscious enough to accept them completely. When I'm in my lower self, I just see them as dumb people.

[Raphael]

Life Ain't That Bad

Sometimes I complain about having a bad life and being in a bad situation, but the reality is that my life isn't that bad. My situation is actually pretty good: I'm living with my family, I have a lot of alone time, I have some work, a lot of nature around me, I meditate, I go to the gym, the country where I live in is fine (OK, I live in Africa, but I live in the most developed country on the continent), I have freedom of speech, clean food, clean water, the place is politically stable, the government took action very quickly on COVID-19 so that we are now one of the only COVID free country in the world. I'm self-actualizing and very grateful to life to know actualized.org, this forum, and the people that I interact with here.

Of course, not everything is good, I have personal issues and difficulties too, but globally speaking my situation is fine.

[Raphael]

Minimalism & Letting Go

These two habits are superpowerful and at the same time super simple. Everything is better when I implement them, I'm happier, I have more flow states, I work deeper, I am more productive, more healthy, etc. When I feel the urge to distract myself, I just let go, when I feel difficult emotions, I just let go, when things are too complicated, I simplify them.

I just need to stay aware and to keep reminding myself to minimize and let go of the most possible things.

Nothing matters and nothing will be lost in the end.

The more empty I am, the more authentic I am, the better I feel.