Going through the spiral

[Raphael]

Yeah, I have a screwed self-image. I'm not as bad as I think I am.

Edited October 3, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

I have the capacity to solve any problem in the universe. I know that because this is what happens when I set an intention and do it, this is what happens when I trust myself and trust my intuition. Everything becomes effortless when I trust myself.

[Raphael]

I'm basically afraid of my power and my potential. I deeply know that I can transform myself and transform the world by setting an intention and starting doing it.

Edited October 3, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

I'm a bit like a walking paradox. I feel paradoxical, my brain functions in a paradoxical way, and my thoughts are paradoxical.

[Raphael]

I feel that I can grow enormously by sharing high quality thoughts on this forum about issues that I have some familiarity with. I can get enormous value by going deep and giving very specific advises that clicks in someone's mind. Also, by helping people, I'm basically helping myself and growing.

I'll try to do a bit of that when I'll have some empty time.

Edited October 4, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

Being a winner is all about attitude. Someone can have nothing in life and struggle enormously but still be a winner.

[Raphael]

For as long as I can remember I always felt weird. I feel like I was born weird.

I've just contemplated the following question: "What is wrong with me?". The answer that came to my mind is: "Nothing. I just convinced myself that something was wrong with me".

Edited October 4, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

23 minutes ago, Raphael said:

For as long as I can remember I always felt weird. I feel like I was born weird.

I've just contemplated the following question: "What is wrong with me?". The answer that came to my mind is: "Nothing. I just convinced myself that something was wrong with me".

I don't know what is happening, but after I had this insight I felt like my brain exploded. Something feels weird currently, like really weird.

[Raphael]

Ok. Things are getting back to normal.

This insight felt like a system shock. I literally felt it in my brain, especially in the left hemisphere. It felt like some parts of my brain were rearranging themselves and bleeding at the same time to handle this insight. My left arm also felt a bit numb at a moment.

Things are fine now.

[Raphael]

Yep, I'm not weird. I'm normal in my own way just like everyone is normal in their own ways.

[Raphael]

Anytime that I talk to someone, I just talk to myself. Any advice that I give is an advice that I give to myself which is why giving advice can be so powerful. By taking the time to think through stuff and giving quality advice, I'm helping myself and progressing in life if I then take actions of course.

[Raphael]

Many life purposes are about helping people that we wouldn't like to live with.

[Raphael]

We all gonna die in the end, and this is Ok.

[Raphael]

I'm Fine

After the realization that I had a screwed self-image, the realization that I wasn't weird but convinced myself that I was weird where I'm normal, here's now the realization that I'm fine.

Yep, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I lived my entire life thinking that something was wrong with me, but I'm fine, I'm fine. I just have strengths and weaknesses like everyone. My strengths might be a bit uncommon and unnoticeable many times which is why I can appear weird. On the outside I'm like the most normal person ever, I'm so normal that it's abnormal, so normal that's it's weird. But in the end, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Overall, I'm fine. I make enough money to sustain myself independently. I can work from anywhere on the planet as the only requirements that I have are a computer and a quality internet connection. I made some changes to my diet in the last two months and it solved the issues that I had. I've been finally finding a proper organization for myself so that my life can be healthily structured. I can be social with people who have a minimum of openmindedness. And I know overall the direction that I want my life to take for at least the next 5 years.

So... what is wrong with me? Nothing. Nothing is wrong with me. I'm perfectly normal in my own way, I'm perfectly fine.

I'm fine. Yeah, I'm fine.

[Raphael]

Please... stop building things around me... my ears are dead... uuuh...

Edited October 9, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

There's still a bit of stage orange ego inside me. I noticed that there is still a part of me who wants to show himself and compete a bit.

[Raphael]

I still have a bit of difficulties when it comes to emotions, when it comes to giving emotional support to people and connecting with people. I can make some mistakes, create some misunderstanding, and weird social situations.

[Raphael]

Using The Actualized.org Forum For Maximum Personal Growth

I think that I under rated the value that I can get from participating consciously on this forum. I spent most of my time here journaling and reading the conversations and grew a lot from that. There is value into that but partipating consciously is another thing because it demands efforts.

I can improve many things by participating here like:

• Humour: I can crack some funny jokes that makes everyone laugh.
• Flirting: I can train my flirting skills, but I think that I won't do it that much because this is not a dating website and because I don't know how Leo and the moderation will react to that.
• Intellect and Intuition: I can write some high quality answers on challenging ideas. I can give multiperspectival Tier-2 solutions and develop my mind by doing that.
• Emotional support, compassion, empathy, agreableness, openness: I can give emotional support to people when they are going through difficult situations. I will be able to make more emotional connections like that and improve my emotional mastery.
• Assertiveness: this one is going to be a bit limited as assertivess is much better developed IRL, but I can still get some value in being assertive through written communication.

Now the limitation of doing this is that most interactions that I have with people here are only written communication so there will always be some distance between me and others. However, I still think that I can gain valuable experience and develop a lot while doing that. Also, the advantage with written communication is that I can go back to my posts, self-reflect and find ways to improve. When it comes to improving anything in life, I noticed that asking myself the question: "What can I improve?" will make my the quality of my thoughts improve. From this question I can try to find new ways of doing things, open myself to new information and experiences, and accelate the thought maturation process.

[Raphael]

I'm very complex and paradoxical, it's very difficult to figure me out.

Edited October 9, 2021 by Raphael

[Raphael]

I basically procrastinated life. It's often when the fire starts to burn and when I feel a sense of urgency that things happen for me. As usual, things are going that way:

Procrastination -> Procrastination (getting closer to the deadline) -> Procrastination (getting very close to the deadline) -> Procrastination (almost crossed the deadline) -> EXPLOSIVE SPIKE OF ENERGY WHERE I FIX EVERYTHING IN A RECORD TIME, GET BETTER RESULTS THAN 90% OF PEOPLE AND GET AHEAD IN LIFE

Lol.