I am moving All In

[M4sti]

After contemplating a lot i decided it is about time i should move All in, i joined this forum and cried a bit about my past  but now its time  to let that go, i got the advise i needed multiple times, and i feel confident in myself and my skills and  i believe i  know what i have to do from now on, so i decided to create this journal, i am extremely motivated to do this for myself, and also give motivation to other people who might think change or moving from the bottom to the top is impossible. I envision a great story will be available here for readers as the time passes. 

 

I made a programm which is designed to help me form some good habbits and achieve my goals. 

 

I wake up early, i cold shower, i meditate, i read, i work out like CR7, i lift weights, i investigate, i use my conscious feedback rather than ego feedback, i eat like CR7, i grind and grind, i observe  my emotions and thoughts mindfully and not act recklessly upon them, i fix my relationships,i create new relationships and friends, i just DO without expecting results and being entitled to them , i stop self-sabotage once and for all,  i open my mind to new ideas , i relax, i stop fear, i heal my addiction,i do the 90 days no PMO with no expectations or wanting something specific to happen and get the insight of it with no placebo effects, i try different spiritual techniques and set long-term goals to self-actualize  , i commit to moving at higher stakes at Poker, i learn new languange, i study about whatever i find interesting or usefull. 

 

And you might think that this  is awfully of a lot of things to do , but it is not even 10% of what i have into my mind, and in this current moment, it might be the case that i am so low on every single of this qualities.But still my main point of focus is my spirituality, after all everything else is just a category inside of it. 

 

I will go absolutely  nuts baby, and this is not lame not joke it is an ultimate commitment, i am starting as poor as it can get with  100$ bankroll, with a weak 27 years old body, with no skills to do any serious  real life job at this current moment , something i never intented to do actually, with a mind that was attached to the past and is giving me more trouble than help, until now+ i guess.  

 

The rest of it, we will have to wait and see, but i Am All In.

 

 

[Bill W]

I like the sound of this. Best wishes. Will read your updates. 

[M4sti]

@Bill W Thank you Bill, nice to see you are here. 

 

It has been 3 days since i started this. Nothing important happened, i  just follow my new routine and doing some work.

It is very hard when you try to make a 360o change,i try to wake up very early, and my goal is to wake up at 4:45 but i cant get down from 9.00 but i am doing pretty well otherwise , all this days i meditated for 40 minutes + each, hit the gym, study, eat lean, work,  And repeat. 

There are many distractions to this project and they already made their appearances, they do not miss a chance to take a shot , as much as i do not want to mention this things here it is also impossible. Example = going for lunch, grandpa is there watching politics on TV and mumbles "they should all be thrown to garbage", me enters the room " who should be thrown to garbage?" grandpa = "YOU STFU YOU ARE STUPID YOU DO NOT KNOW ABOUT POLITICS". Dad comes for lunch, to reinforce his dad opinion. And then starts saying random things like " You should have completed your army duties by now and should not have postponed them , when you go there you will call us crying and ask for help so we can get you back". Making this story completely out of his ass, this is the most normal day to have here not even a  sick day . Dad is walking dead Zompie with no idendity carrying his narcissistic mistress agenda,he does not get involved with anything until she complains to him about a fictitious situation and then he snaps all mad, i think even  God cringes when he experiences this shit,  and they are so ignorant of all of what  they doing and the forces that drive their actions that   i believe a dog can learn quantum physics easier than them realising it. 

I managed to grow my bankroll by 40$ this 3 days , i am also coaching a student for 6$/hour for 10hours and maybe more, soon i will be challenging a higher limit at Poker, expecting to show a win/rate and save some bucks before Army. Army is in about 4 months. If my progress is great by then i might even join the elite of the special forces, i wont take this desicion recklessly i will have to feel like a monster both mentally and physically. Greek army is stage Blue and you can not expect anything but a non productive time there , i will try to make the best of it obviously. You have the option to go for Cyprus and get paid 270E/month,  either  as a plain soldier or at the special forces, also the food is a lot better, i will gor for this. 

[M4sti]

Days with a lot of work, and i feel i am growing steadily and slow, my meditations are smooth and i can sit down for 30 minutes more easily than before, i sleep way easier than before and when i go to bed i always feel extremely relaxed even if the events of the day were negative. 

i Got new student and i am commited to help him, without charge at first, i met this person online and he told me he had no money to live, his parents stole his money(wtf). He wanted to try Poker and i will try to make him able to pay the 100$  rent before they throw him out, crazy stuff i hope this goes well. 

The negative things that happened is that i relapsed at NoFap, and i won only 120$ in like 10 days. But my mind feels calm and positive and that is the most important change so far,i also feel way healthier with the streak of hitting the gym and eating well for many days. 

[tenta]

How about another update? Are you really eating like Cristiano Ronaldo?