My brothers divorce

[andyjohnsonman]

I would like to get some advice about my brothers most recent phone call. He is a very positive person and very actualized without every doing any of the theory. His wife recently came back from 2 months in Peru where she went there to have some space from my brother and they didnt talk for the whole time. She had a tough upbringing with lots of trauma and has always been searching through spirituality for answers. Before leaving for Peru she went through depression and the relationship got quite toxic with her getting angry at my brother but he saw past this as he is blinded by love. He has done everything to try to keep the relationship together and tried to help her with her inner demons by going with her to get counselling and giving her constant support.  They have different paths - my brother is very goal driven and she is more of a free spirit.  

 

He moved to Australia to marry her (he is originally from UK) and has everything there for the last 8 years (Mortgage, car, job). The divorce takes along time to settle and will be difficult financially when he has put all the money into the mortgage but thanks to divorce rights it will be halved. When she came back from Peru she told my brother that she wants to split up. He just called me to say all this and started crying down the phone. I found it hard to advise him especially when he lives so far away.

 

Any advice for him and on how i can deal with this?

 

Much appreciated

[Gili Trawangan]

It sounds like he needs to let her go. From your description, I see nothing good coming out of that relationship. It will hurt a lot until it doesn't anymore. And hopefully your brother will find an opportunity for growth in the midst of the pain. My two cents. 

[SFRL]

@andyjohnsonman if your brother is the kind of guy who makes very good money this slogan might help him:

"I make money, money doesn't make me"

You can always make new money. Making money is a skill. If he is good at making money it won't be the end of him. 

Of course it's painful emotionally. But a guy in his prime with a good job will always have options. 

He probably will end up with a new girl down the line, but hotter, better sex, and who is nicer to him. He just doesn't know it yet at this time.