Friendship Triangle.. (Advice please)

[Paul92]

Okay, so, this isn't about a romantic relationship, it's more about me and a couple of people who I work with who have grown to become friends over the last couple of years. Lately though, it's been getting weird. You guys on here are usually pretty good at advice. So if you can help me here, that'd be awesome. 

I'll try and keep it succinct. Friend one, who I'll call Sam, is a guy who I've known for nearly 2 years now. We get on. He's a bit younger than me, but I did my best to make him feel welcome when he joined my department. 

Friend 2, I'll call Becky, I've known a bit less, maybe 18 months. In short, she's the most genuine person I've ever met. I can honestly say I've never met anyone who's had anything bad to say about her. 

The thing is, lately, I feel like me and Becky have grown closer. Well, at least I do. 

She's got a few problems in her personal life. Around 6 months ago she broke down to me about it all and tried to explain to me that she wished she could talk to me about it because "I'd know what to do and would have her best interests at heart unlike some". But she was scared I'd judge her etc. 

I told her then, what I told her now, I'm not into judging people as such, and that when it comes to my loved ones, of which I consider her, my loyalty is unconditional. 

Now, I have no sexual/romantic interest in Becky. She has a boyfriend (who she isn't fond of, but they have an house together, cars and a dog). She's also experimented sexually with girls and I think she prefers that, but she's probably bisexual. She beats herself up about past mistakes and has a lot of inner turmoil. But honestly, she's an angel. It's heartbreaking to see. 

Now, Sam, DOES have a sexual interest in Becky. He denies it, but it is obvious. To her face he says he sees her as a sister. But behind her back, he says all manner of crude things about her. Everything he says when he's talking to her is carefully thought through for his own agenda of, ultimately, getting in her pants. Oh, and he has a girlfriend, who he's recently cheated on. But that's another story. 

I like the kids. But recently I'm starting to think he's only my friend when it benefits him. If he can be alone with becky, he will do anything to make it happen. If we arrange drinks and I say I might not be able to make it, becky will say oh no please try, whereas he will say well there is always another time. Its that kinda thing. If he thinks he can be alone with her, he's rubbing his hands. 

Which is fine. 

Only, lately he's trying to push me and Becky away from each other because he sees me as a threat. 

Me and Becky had a couple of evenings recently when it was just me and her going for drinks. We had heart to hearts. She told me she considers me her best friend and I told her likewise. She's also told me how she finds Sam creepy sometimes. Me and her going for drinks has driven him mad and now he's working overdrive to even up the scores. 

Plainly, I can't be bothered. Only, he's spouting loads of nonsense to her and I'm worried she might listen to him and I'll lose a friend. 

Also, she says she finds him creepy, but when they're together I might as well not be there. I just find it strange. I don't get someone saying it's just me and her versus the rest because she doesn't trust them, and then I get the impression that I might as well not be there. She wants that close friend relationship one min, then she's dropping me and she's like that with the guy who doesn't have her wellbeing at heart, he's just playing a long game because he thinks he has a chance. 

It's my grandma's funeral Friday and we are meant to be going out for drinks after. But I sort of feel like leaving them to it, if that makes sense? Only, I've never had such a close friend, and I love her like a sister, so I want to spend time with her... But maybe I'm looking for something that perhaps just won't materialise. Maybe she will just always be around him more. She just feels naturally more comfortable around him, which I get. I can be weird at times and he's always the loud showy off one. 

Should I go out with them or just leave them to it? I don't wish them any harm. And I really don't have a romantic interest... Itd just be nice to have that friend that she sometimes is, all the time. But Sam is being quite bitter and devious over the last few days, he wants to be number one. Which, I wouldn't mind, if he was honest with her and didn't speak with an agenda. 

Maybe I didn't explain this very well. Sorry. 

[Gili Trawangan]

It doesn't sound like you want to play manipulation games, so just let it be. Remain her friend and let things unfold as they will. If you end up growing apart, then it was meant to be. But if she's really your friend that won't happen. Detachment over the outcome would be my advice to you.