[service] Nonduality mentorship and guidance, Akilesh Ayyar (aka winterknight)

[graded24]

Around Nov/Dec last year, I had read, watched (including Leo's excellent videos, which have impacted my metaphysics deeply) and contemplated Nonduality long enough for it to start breaking down old structures apart. There was an earth shattering realization about my work in science: science isn't probably going to answer the questions I wanted answered. To make matter worse, something inside me had realized this well in advance and I found  that I had hit a huge wall of procrastination (though I didn't understand it at the time). My work life was suffering and at the same time, though I had zeroed in on self-inquiry in my Nondual exploration, I had no idea how to actually do it. There were multiple points of confusion: 1) How to exactly self inquire? 2) How to integrate it with the rest of my life 3) What is the guiding principle to orient my actions in the relative world, and what relation it has to Nonduality? 

Around that time, I came across this megathread started by  Akilesh/@winterknight: 

I was quite impressed with his answers and, like many of you, I had a sense that they were coming from an authentic place. I started talking to him one on one and finally I opted for weekly phone conversations for a guidance fee. I also read his book, How to find what isnt lost, in the process.

As our personal interaction started, things started to unravel and settle down in coming weeks and months. First and foremost, he helped my understand my own procrastination. He guided me through multiple 'hitting the wall' moments of self-inquiry, resolved many existential doubts, and  helped me avoid many of the subtle traps of a spiritual path. He explained my many doubts about Advaitan metaphysics and how exactly it related to self-inquiry. I finally reached a point where things were integrated enough for life and self-inquiry to be self-sustainable. There is a harmonious life now, well integrated with a background spiritual inquiry, that comes to foreground multiple times on a given day. There is content and peace and, equally importantly, a healthy engagement with the relative world.

I can honestly say that this transition wouldn't have been possible, or at least would have taken much longer, it it weren't for Akilesh's personalized help. My orientation to nonduality is Truth, so I really appreciated that he did not sugarcoat his statements. He was brutally honest at times, and he did what many teachers don't do: accepted at points that enlightenment doesn't mean you know answer to every question. In fact there are many important questions on which there are speculations, but no definite answer. No one knows. This really helped my mind settle down into unknowingness. 

How to find what isn't lost was an excellent concise instructional book on modern perspective on Advaita and, more importantly, how to actually practice self inquiry. Most books on self inquiry are those claiming to be by Ramana Maharshi; but they are actually not written by him. It's always compiled and translated by someone else and is in Q&A format, and it is very hard to extract the exact instructions of the practice, especially for a beginner. So if you are interested in self-inquiry, you must give it a try. 

I am writing it here so in case  you relate to the place I was at, you can give what worked for me a try as well. 

Edited June 30, 2019 by graded24

[Zigzag Idiot]

This is good to hear!  I've really enjoyed a couple His Youtubes and will consider buying his book.

Ive been using the phrase Inquiry imprecisely most likely, since I arriving here six months ago. As in synonymous with doing the Work or self observation.I had thought that Inquiry also had this usage as separate from the specific practice called Self Inquiry. Maybe 50/50?

Lately I've been feeling the need to make this distinction more and more to possibly just save confusion if anyone were to read very much in my journal.

i would welcome any opinions around this.

Edited June 30, 2019 by Zigzag Idiot

[graded24]

Yes I think the words are self explanatory. Inquiry can refer to inquiry into any part  or aspect of experience. For example I definitely the first year or so inquiry the world in my direct experience. It was not self inquiry.

 Self inquiry is a very specific inquiry; it's the inquiry into 'I', or the inquirer itself. In that way it is a meta inquiry.  It is easier said than done and leads to a lot of confusion. So it is often useful to have a guide to who you can specific questions.