Dealing with very intensive negative emotions

[Yannik]

Hey guys,

I have a question regarding very intense negative emotions. I'm doing my first video sales calls for our company these days and my anxiety before the call is so intense that all my thoughts shift towards extreme survival mode, for example "how can I end this call as soon as possible?" "I hope he misses the appointment" and I feel those negative emotions the whole week before the event takes place.

I haven't even had a video sales call yet but actually I had a call scheduled for exactly this moment right now but the person missed the appointment without telling me.

 

Nevermind, what can I do to release those negative emotions before the event, or even once and for all? I've been trying the Sedona Method but it didn't work for me quite well yet even though I've read the book. Is it just practice?

Except that, I am surely going to have video sales calls no matter if I feel I want to die before or not – so that option is covered as well.

Do you have any other suggestions? 

 

Thank you very much in advance guys!

 

[Truth Addict]

@Yannik Allow, stop resisting.

Observe from distance, don't get caught up.

Break down whatever seems to be the problem to simpler and smaller portions. And work each portion alone.

@Nahm helped me once with a similar problem. Maybe he could say something here.

[Nahm]

11 hours ago, Yannik said:

Hey guys,

I have a question regarding very intense negative emotions. I'm doing my first video sales calls for our company these days and my anxiety before the call is so intense that all my thoughts shift towards extreme survival mode, for example "how can I end this call as soon as possible?" "I hope he misses the appointment" and I feel those negative emotions the whole week before the event takes place.

I haven't even had a video sales call yet but actually I had a call scheduled for exactly this moment right now but the person missed the appointment without telling me.

 

Nevermind, what can I do to release those negative emotions before the event, or even once and for all? I've been trying the Sedona Method but it didn't work for me quite well yet even though I've read the book. Is it just practice?

Except that, I am surely going to have video sales calls no matter if I feel I want to die before or not – so that option is covered as well.

Do you have any other suggestions? 

 

Thank you very much in advance guys!

 

 

Everything you do for this, do in the vein of putting your health and well being first. You are more important that any call or job. 

First, take the pressure off yourself, and laughingly accept the possible outcome of completely sucking and failing. And say, who cares, this will not matter one bit in ten years. You might be the world’s greatest psychologist, or botanist, or who knows what - and this work might just be something that helps you zero in on that. Zoom out as much as you can, to a bigger, and more general picture. Don’t let one day pretend to be a lifetime, it’s just one task, one day. There are billions of jobs and ways of making income, and not one of them is worth your health, not for a second. 

Right now wise, shake it out. This is the simplest most ridiculous and effective practice ever. Just kind of shake you body, shake your arms and hands, and ‘shake that energy out’. Do it. It works because you don’t want to do it, because it’s so silly. That’s why it works. A less serious Yannik, is a sillier, happier, healthier Yannik. Laugh at yourself, at your “grown up pressure”. Break that intensity. You’re a good person, and you’re sensitive. Lighten up on yourself. 

Everything is just practice. Literally. There’s no quiz at the funeral parlor. Doctor’s, lawyer’s offices, are practices, meditation is a practice, etc, all practice. Nobody expects you to know anything more than you know. If they do, it’s really their own issue to deal with. There’s no ultimate exam coming. 

 

More practically speaking...you need to practice to find some comfort. I remember doing my first sales calls and sweating through two shirts, and I rarely sweat at all. Just a few weeks later, I could make them with an earbud in while finishing other work. You will see this also. Practice is the difference. What seems stressful today will one day be boring. 

Listen to something uplifting, music, video, whatever helps up your state. Then practice in the mirror, or just in a room alone. Practice selling / pitching something you know and like, something more personal and hobby related. Then practice with the product. Just get used to talking about the product, features, asking the questions, etc. practice with a friend, or even more ideally, someone at the company with experience. Initially, it’s about comfort and knowledge, then develop skills. Ultimately, keep in mind it’s just another human you’ll be talking to. They feel like you feel, they fear and love just like you. You and them are in this thing together. Be honest, genuine, and human, actually care about them, not just the sale, and make that known, again, genuinely. Ask them about their family, their work, their life - their dream. Anybody ever ask you what your dream for this life is? I bet nobody EVER asked them either.  That speaks louder and stronger that any “pitch”, and it’s real - so you’ll find a nature love / high every time. 

Listen to videos about making the best sales calls. This will help break the comfort zone issue, and consciously & subconsciously build confidence. 

Make sure you as good as can be on the basics of getting enough sleep, sleeping the same schedule daily as much as possible.

Get some exercise every day, preferably in the morning. Lives change when someone goes from going to bed late and getting up with just enough time - to going to sleep early, and getting up early, and making that first part of the day about your well being. 

Be careful with your diet. It’s hard, if not impossible, to tell one state / quality of thoughts from another, because when you’re assessing, you’re in a state. Food = mood. Sugar, too much caffeine, too much carbs, imo, these make life, and specifically sale work, very difficult. Again, do this for your health and well being, because you are worthy and deserving of that, not just for this issue at work.

Breathing - Be mindful of breathing from a relaxed stomach, all day. This changes the physiology of the body, and therefore the mind. This works instantly, and cumulatively as well. This alone can be really life changing. We’re in a world of sucked in stomach - lung breathers - and stress, in that world, the stomach breather wins easily, as creative problem solving is natural in relaxation, while others are freakin out. 

 

At the root of this issue, ultimately, is a “separate self”, but circle back to that another day. The secondary root, if you will, is overthinking. The amount of thinking for what you’re doing now, and planning anything for the future, given we have electronic calendars galore etc - is probably 1% of the amount of thinking the average person is doing. I’d just suggest considering this might be true, and that daily morning meditation is such a simple, free, and effective practice, that it’s almost impossible to believe the difference it makes. Hopefully you are already meditating daily. If not, definitely start. Every single cell in your body will thank you. You will reduce thinking and increase mental clarity, resulting in better health, a deeper feeling of well being, more energy, etc, etc. Too many benefits to list. Click my link for more of my sales pitch on that. I’d suggest the simple relaxation stomach breathing meditation. Twice a day is significantly more impactful than once a day. 

The ideal scenario with thinking, with respect to the high stress, is noticing when you are thinking of the past, or future, and putting yourself in that thought story. Just in reading this, your awareness of it will increase a little. Just notice it, and make a point to return to the now. Do this be purposefully leaving the thought story, and going to your senses. See what is in front of you, hear as many things and as far around you as there are to hear, feel really feel every breath going in, and going out, feel the soles of your feet on the floor, feel your body touching the chair - you get the idea - “come to your senses” - be present, here, now. 

 

For the longer term, maybe this is a ‘get by for now’ job, maybe you opened your own business, maybe it’s your dream job, I don’t know. I know this though, if it isn’t your dream - get that dream on a chalk paint wall, or dry erase board, or something BIG. Not a notebook, not a tablet. Put that dream on the ON THE WALL.  This is your life and it goes by in a blink. See it every day, believe it, imagine it all happening perfectly, visualize the feeling that it has already happened, visualize & imagine getting a phone call from the right person, at the right time. Feel it. Ask the Universe to give it. Literally make a do to list for the Universe on paper. Probably don’t know this yet (maybe you do) but it’s alive, loving you more than you could ever imagine, and it is magic and spontaneous at that. 

 

@Truth Addict??

[Knock]

I know this wasn't addressed to me, but I loved and really resonated with your thoughtful response@Nahm

[Truth Addict]

@Nahm Man! You're an artist! ❤️

[Nahm]

@Truth Addict @Knock Thanks 

[Yannik]

@laptophaver @Truth Addict @Nahm @possibilities Guys, you are amazing. I really really appreciate all your replies. Already helped me a lot and I'll definitely put your suggestions into practice now ❤️ 

[Nahm]

?? You’re amazing Yannik. 

Have fun. 

[Jkris]

@Yannik @Yannik You are trying to address the symptoms than addressing the root cause ? Will that work ?

Can mind deceive itself ?

Listen to the mind what it is saying what it is cautioning ?

What is your level of self confidence ?

Why you are anxious ?

Mind will always fear unknown territories.something which it has no prior experience of.

Mind will caution about the end result.

If it is too much about perfection in the first attempt thats not practical.

So practice well.build your confidence and the symptom of anxiety and fear will greatly reduce.

And once you deliver they wont appear again.