Question for experienced psychonauts

[ThinAir]

So in my latest trips a certain phenomena is reoccuring.

It happens mainly when i go into deep silence, suddenly I get "hit" by something, like a wave. I can not see the "wave" coming, it just suddenly hits me. My whole body gets a shock, extremly intense sensations on every inch of my body. Its almost like high voltage shoots through my beeing in a split second. My mind gets kicked out of silence mod. 

First time I had this was on San Pedro whilst beeing in a retreat, but it only occured once there.

Now started happening on mushrooms. Yesterday it happend around 8 times. 

I tried to surrender to it by its so too intense, my body-mind reacts with fight or flight.

Im a bit puzzled by this.

Has anyone experienced something like this or simmilar?

[Truth Addict]

@ThinAir

I haven't done a psychedelic ever and haven't had any mystical experiences ever in my life.

But I used to experience something similar to what you described in my sleep.

The waves were like the violet music they use in movies for crucial scenes. It begins faint and from far, then it gets closer and stronger, and then it hits, one wave at a time, for however long it takes for them to go away.

I don't know if this applies to your case, but I'll say it anyway:

I tried many times to surrender to them, but I couldn't, until finally I did. It was horrifying, but I reminded myself of love, and it got me through. The waves kept coming and getting stronger, until finally they vanished, and peace remained.

I have never had them ever since.

Edited June 27, 2019 by Truth Addict

[ThinAir]

@Truth Addict

Interesting. 

Every now and then I also get a kind of instant shock that throws me out of my sleep. Other than yours mine does not creep on me over a period of time. But its hard to say how similar they are because I can't observe the shock as clearly when I'm in sleep

[Truth Addict]

@ThinAir

Words can't explain. I don't know what it was. But it was not a nightmare, that's for sure.

[Esoteric]

I've had this happen to me maybe 5 times. Though never by tripping. It happens when I wake up in the middle of the night and I just get this shock and wave of energy. First time I was rather shocked and wondered what was going on. But when you surrender to it it starts to feel amazing and you feel it in your heart center, or I do.

[OBEler]

google sleep paralysis. The body sleeps, the mind is awake. 

[Esoteric]

18 minutes ago, OBEler said:

google sleep paralysis. The body sleeps, the mind is awake. 

I've had sleep paralysis, it's not that.

[outlandish]

The thing @Truth Addict is describing sounds just like something I used to experience fairly often, and was always accompanied by sleep paralysis. I never was able to "go into" it/surrender, it always freaked me out and I fought my way out of it. Hasn't happened to me since I was a young adult, but I had it all the time as a kid.

I can't tell if this is the same thing as @ThinAir's phenomenon. 

@ThinAir have you been with anyone when this has happened? You might want to make sure it's not seizures to be on the safe side. I don't think it is, but just in case.

[Truth Addict]

@outlandish

Yes! It was accompanied by sleep paralysis, not together at the same time, but at the same period in my life, and the latter stopped probably one year earlier. It was also accompanied by strong fear of death.

Edited June 27, 2019 by Truth Addict

[ThinAir]

@outlandish No I'm mostly alone while tripping. 

& it somehow feels like it's stabbing right in the core of my beeing, like it would obliterate my psyche if i somehow could manage to go into it. How did you find your way out of yours?

[Nahm]

The waves are the dissolution of the identification as the body / mind, an over lapping deconstruction from one to another (so to speak) rather than a slamming open or closed of the psyche.  

The defensive barrier is the “my” thought / idea... “my body, my being, my mind, my body-mind reacts”.  So there’s a fear of losing those things. 

If it’s only language / semantics / the nature of communicating, then sorry and disregard. Otherwise, there might be some beliefs you are separate from the body, separate from the mind, which a bigger dose might break through rather than flirt with, which can be rough and potentially backfire. I’d go the other route though, meditation (to not be swayed out of the silent space as readily), quantum mechanics (to break down the idea of reality more). There might also be a relationship or two which you could inject some love into, someone in the past you could forgive, perhaps yourself. Might be a situation of unfinished business with someone. Speculating here, not a lot to go on. Just feel for ya and hope this is helpful. Want ya to have that breakthrough! 

[outlandish]

2 hours ago, ThinAir said:

@outlandish No I'm mostly alone while tripping. 

& it somehow feels like it's stabbing right in the core of my beeing, like it would obliterate my psyche if i somehow could manage to go into it. How did you find your way out of yours?

I mostly just fought my way to the surface, and would force myself to make noises with my mouth in order to be able to hear something that would be a lifeline to awakened reality, and use that to come out of it.

I feel like we probably experienced different sensations, I don't want to be a red herring for you. Mine was more like a suffocating, enclosing, fearful, suppressive force, and wasn't related to psychedelics. It was happening to me in my sleep, as I was falling asleep, or waking up. 

After it would happen, as a young adult, I would sort of kick myself for missing the chance to dive headfirst into it and not flinch, but it was always too terrifying in the moment to go through with it entirely.

[ThinAir]

@Nahm Sounds to me like you have some experience with this.

 

13 hours ago, Nahm said:

Otherwise, there might be some beliefs you are separate from the body, separate from the mind, 

When I read this something clicked. As I experienced myself as awareness more and more often and try to detatch myself from body and mind I maybe have taken it too far and created a belief like that. I'm going to contemplate on it.