Family criticism on self actualization

[Psyche_92]

Hello,

My family never really understood why i do what i do, and i don't care too much about that. However, i can't really go to my sister's place, my mom's place or any other of my family because it seems like the only thing they care about is asking me if i'm still doing my meditation, healthy eating etc. You would say, well that's a good thing right? But no, not really. They are not asking this out of pure interest, it's literally just to see if i'm failing again, cause they always laugh at me for doing these things, especially meditation. They are totally clueless, and i don't really care about that, but the problem is that i feel like they do have way too much effect on me by doing this.

Even if i reach goals, or get some succes at something, they can't understand why, and they seem to envy me at those times. They quickly project all their limiting beliefs and fears on me, and i can see that, but at the same time it also makes me fear my own succes and it holds me back from doing so. It's like they are fearfull that i will succeed. Not sure how to explain it.

The boyfriend of my sister for instance, always immediately asks how much i earn when i get a new job. With my last job, i earned more than him, and his facial expression explained everything to me. It's like they just can't stand it.

This has been a problem for a long time, and i can't seem to sort out how i can fix this except for not visiting them anymore. It's just very hard for me to deal with their criticism when succes is coming my way. Lately i'm even fearfull of making new moves just because i know my family will not be happy for me.

Edited June 26, 2019 by Psyche_92

[Inliytened1]

@Psyche_92 This will pass with more consciousness and growth as well as being comfortable in your own skin.  What others think will have zero affect on you whatsoever.  Right now they're affecting you not because of them -  but because of you.  The reality is there is no them.  There is only you as God.  They are being imagined by you.  So this is all within yourself and it will require inner work on your part.

That may be a painful realization because we want to place blame on others.   But in the end it is you that is feeling this way and only you can change it.

 

 

[Psyche_92]

4 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

So this is all within yourself and it will require inner work on your part.

That may be a painful realization because we want to place blame on others.   But in the end it is you that is feeling this way and only you can change it.

I know it's not about them. I don't want to play the victim here. I just want this to end cause it's holding me back from pursuing what i really want, and i'm not getting younger. I don't know how to change it. I'm meditating an hour a day, i've also tried writing about it and thinking about it but it doesn't help.

Edited June 26, 2019 by Psyche_92

[Inliytened1]

@Psyche_92 look inside and find the answer as to why you feel scared about your own success after seeing that they seemingly don't want you to succeed or seem jealous. Or perhaps scared you will be more successful than them.

is it guilt or love for them that you don't want to appear better than them?

Edited June 26, 2019 by Inliytened1

[Psyche_92]

4 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

is it guilt or love for them that you don't want to appear better than them?

Guilt

[Inliytened1]

Guilt has torn me a new one many times in my life.   But it's not your fault as to whether they are successful or not successful - happy or unhappy in their own lives and projecting onto you.  It's not fair to torture yourself over them.   So you will have to try to find a way to let that go.  One way is to realize when you are feeling that way - go meta - let it pass through like any emotion and move on.  Eventually it will pass because you are self aware of what is happening.

Edited June 26, 2019 by Inliytened1

[Psyche_92]

1 minute ago, Inliytened1 said:

One way is to realize when you are feeling that way - go meta - let it pass through like any emotion and move on.  Eventually it will pass because you are self aware of what is happening.

Yes. Good advice, thanks for helping.