facing the void

[nightrider1435]

So I tripped last night on 2g of shrooms and overall it was good. I was blissed out and seeing myself as everything. Lots of laughing... because I was conscious that it was just me talking to myself my entire life.  

I figured my peak was over and I was coming down, so I decided it would be a good idea to smoke the devils lettuce. Well... that's when the trip took an unexpected turn. It felt like I was going into a peak again, but in a more twisted way. I was concentrating on an object in my room, and it triggered me to go into a ego death. 

It happened so fast and very spontaneous. All of a sudden my heart rate skyrocketed, this sense of intense fear washed over my entire body.  I really triggered my ego last night to a new degree, this was a type of fear that I had never felt before. My inner voice started to become really dark. I was sitting on my bed with my hands death gripping my mattress and with a snarl on my face, almost like a wild animal. I wasn't in control of my body at this point, and it felt like I had this angry entity inside of me. I was in such a detached state of being that it literally felt like my own mind attacked me. My mind felt like this hissing snake in the corner of a room.  I was becoming to one with everything, to the point that it felt like my experience was dissolving into this black hole. My 23 year old male ego wasn't having it, the ego was in a full panic trying to keep itself constructed.  This was out of my control, I couldn't get myself to surrender to this. 

The best way I can think of describing this is it felt like my experience was crystallizing together. Imagine a shattered window that's still intact becoming a perfect window again.

I ended up just trying to distract myself the best I could by listing to some music so I could just ride it out. What would had happened if I surrendered and let it play out? Shit, I don't know. That was a very.... humbling experience, my ass got handed to me. It's hard to put into words how intense this really was though. I will never smoke weed during a psychedelic experience ever again, because everything was fine up until that point. I've read similar reports on reddit, weed tends to turn trips dark and twisted. Be careful about mixing anything with a psychedelic, you never know what could happen. This was my first bad experience with a psychedelic out of about 12 trips now. 

[DrewNows]

Wow thanks for sharing this may explain why my first and only trip become something very similar to yours, because I smoked weed too, most fear I’ve ever faced and went so far down the rabbit hole 

[Gili Trawangan]

Sounds like experience has taught you a lesson. Mixing substances is a very bad idea, it's a good heads-up for others.

[Consilience]

Ive had nothing but positive experiences mixing weed with mushrooms but... Ive only taken 1 hit any time I mix them. I would say they can be mixed safely if the shroom dose is small enough and if the weed is a small dose as well. You gotta be careful.

In terms of a dark entity taking over, Ive heard reports from a youtube channel called 343 that mushrooms make you susceptible for certain entities taking control. However it’s important to remember that any “entities” are existentially you, as the ultimate self. Even though they may appear as separate, they are not. 

I would say the best approach next time is to just surrender fully. You can always take solace in the fact that the psychedelic experience will eventually fade.

[nightrider1435]

12 minutes ago, Consilience said:

Ive had nothing but positive experiences mixing weed with mushrooms but... Ive only taken 1 hit any time I mix them. I would say they can be mixed safely if the shroom dose is small enough and if the weed is a small dose as well. You gotta be careful.

In terms of a dark entity taking over, Ive heard reports from a youtube channel called 343 that mushrooms make you susceptible for certain entities taking control. However it’s important to remember that any “entities” are existentially you, as the ultimate self. Even though they may appear as separate, they are not. 

I would say the best approach next time is to just surrender fully. You can always take solace in the fact that the psychedelic experience will eventually fade.

@Consilience I defiantly smoked more than I should. It just completely blindsided me, all that bliss came crashing down and all of sudden I was having this dark experience. 

[SoonHei]

@nightrider1435 the same YOU which is watching nightrider1435 report on the trip was watching nightrider1435 freak out and face fear

YOU were/are just watching.

like a horror movie. you get afraid when you're totally engrossed in it. then you can also back out instantly - knowing you're always free from it.

 

10 hours ago, nightrider1435 said:

What would had happened if I surrendered and let it play out?

You would have seen that the one who is freaking out and is facing the fear is nightrider1435 and not YOU. for you're sitting in the couch watching nightrider1435's movie  

[Nahm]

@nightrider1435 Thanks for the share. Sounds like maybe it actually helped though...? That resistor has to surrender...’ego death’. Maybe too much too soon.

[nightrider1435]

2 hours ago, SoonHei said:

@nightrider1435 the same YOU which is watching nightrider1435 report on the trip was watching nightrider1435 freak out and face fear

YOU were/are just watching.

like a horror movie. you get afraid when you're totally engrossed in it. then you can also back out instantly - knowing you're always free from it.

 

You would have seen that the one who is freaking out and is facing the fear is nightrider1435 and not YOU. for you're sitting in the couch watching nightrider1435's movie  

@SoonHei The thing that was making me the most uneasy was the inner voice, it was going absolutely nuts. Everything went from blissful to wow, my mind is starting to freak me out, I just want this to end. It truly is challenging to remind yourself that you took a drug and that this experience will end when your caught up in it. When your in that state time isn't linear anymore. I was just repeating to myself that everything was ok and that I am safe.

[Chi_]

I once blazed one on the come down of an intense LSD trip as well. It was a really unpleasant experience and quite similar to what you described here.

My take on it is that, for me weed usually puts my mind on lose and I kind of start to unconsciously think of stuff. So I can see how this could intensify and be perceived as a "bad" experience when combined with a psychedelic. It honestly depends on your normal state of mind I think. 

[nightrider1435]

2 hours ago, Nahm said:

@nightrider1435 Thanks for the share. Sounds like maybe it actually helped though...? That resistor has to surrender...’ego death’. Maybe too much too soon.

@Nahm It most certainly did help. I think I've been tripping to much lately, I was getting cocky so the shrooms had to teach me a lesson.  My intuition was hinting to not trip but I did it anyways.

I'm still feeling a bit uneasy but I know I'll recover more from this as time goes on. I'm just feeling more detached from my reality more than I would like. Even right now as I type this my mind knows it isn't real, and it doesn't like that.

[nightrider1435]

11 minutes ago, Chi_ said:

I once blazed one on the come down of an intense LSD trip as well. It was a really unpleasant experience and quite similar to what you described here.

My take on it is that, for me weed usually puts my mind on lose and I kind of start to unconsciously think of stuff. So I can see how this could intensify and be perceived as a "bad" experience when combined with a psychedelic. It honestly depends on your normal state of mind I think. 

@Chi_ Before I smoked it felt like I still had control of the trip and I could steer it where I wanted to, but after smoking it was like the steering wheel gets ripped away, and my mind completely lost it. But you are right, I wasnt in the best state of mind before starting this trip.

[Chi_]

28 minutes ago, nightrider1435 said:

@Chi_ Before I smoked it felt like I still had control of the trip and I could steer it where I wanted to, but after smoking it was like the steering wheel gets ripped away, and my mind completely lost it. But you are right, I wasnt in the best state of mind before starting this trip.

That makes sense from my experience becauce weed almost always lets my mind drift away and I lose control of my thoughts immediately. Sometimes just smoking it by itself is enough for me to realize it. Maybe if you blaze one right at the start of the trip, it might not affect you that much as the psychedelic'effect dominates at that point but when smoked towards the end, losing control of your thoughts could affect your heavily as the psychedelic is dying down at that point. In a way, weed is almost like an anti-psychedelic to me haha

Edited June 25, 2019 by Chi_

[SoonHei]

1 hour ago, nightrider1435 said:

@SoonHei The thing that was making me the most uneasy was the inner voice, it was going absolutely nuts. Everything went from blissful to wow, my mind is starting to freak me out, I just want this to end. It truly is challenging to remind yourself that you took a drug and that this experience will end when your caught up in it. When your in that state time isn't linear anymore. I was just repeating to myself that everything was ok and that I am safe.

@nightrider1435 yes. i know of that.

i myself have been in similar states... it's a whole different ball game at that time

the forgetting of the fact that you've taken a drug - this can be very shaky indeed.

[Nahm]

@nightrider1435 Feel for ya man. “Go to that my”. ??

[zeroISinfinity]

@nightrider1435 Don't go for that "my" it is apocalypse. ?

Joking all the Best keep it up. ?❤️