Bullshit - A Poem Without Rhyme

[Falk]

Hope is the egos last chance of survival, Go beyond hope, Hope is a cowardice concept, Real authentic expirience doesn´t need hope, Hope is an insult to what is now! Hope is you saying: "This here! This is not good enough for me, i hope there will be something better" BULLSHIT!!

How much i depend on opinions! I didn´t know that, Basicly my whole life is this! Mother be proud, i don´t want to disappoint my father, that´s the only reason im doing this job right now. What would those people think if i did this? No i can´t do it. It is actually a form of mind-controll. It is scary how strong it works. It is emotional dependency forcing me into making descicions that are not good for me. That have nothing to do with who i am. This is BULLSHIT!!

The last 3 years i was weaseling my way throu life. This is not how i see myself anymore, i wanna grow out of this. I won´t die like this! This is not who i am. A huge willigness to change, to open up, emerged in me ...."me" ...or it just emerged or it connected to me. This willingness will only be one of the first steps.