I can't stand social interactions for too long...

[oMarcos]

FAMILY per instance, it's real hard for me sometimes to talk with them, there is too much false expectations of who they think I am, and I can't play that game, with family, I can only stand interactions about general things and never about me, if its particularly about me it will end in discussion and anxiety. So per instance, I never talk to them about my pesonal life (if I am dating someone etc.) And they act like I am cold or that I don't care about them. I just really want to avoid ego fights, their worldview is completely different than mine, we will never understand each other (from the ego perspective). And I have no interest about trying to be underatood either, I am the manifest, why should I care. I am in peace about this, I don't want to feel bad just because I avoid getting to personal with my own family, I just want peace above all.

 

With other people is almost the same story, but less personal, so there is less danger of ego fights, but I can't  stand to be with them for too long if they are not sharing my worldviews. Leo talked about this I know. Worldview is very important to me, I can't  stand anything that could compromisse that. I even get absurdly anxious if I see the TV on the newachannel in my family house,  I just close my hears and go far away for the silence. I feel threat of being brainwashed. No tv news, no bad news, no dealing with people that make you feel different from your worldviews, none of that. Solitude is bliss. 

 

But don't  get me wrong. I enjoy being with people, as long I feel my worldviews are not judged, I am ok.  The problem thoug is that I feel this threat even when there is no threat. Like I said before: TV news, bad youtube channels, praising celebritys, earing people eating (misophonia) , and a few other things, make me feel a ton of anxiety.  

 

After watching leo's episode on survival, I know that this is all me protecting me from something, It's my worldview.

So the question is, how do you deal with others and the mainstream world in order to keep yourself sane from all the lies and self deception around you?

[ahmad ibdah]

This is you doing purification for your ego. 

You constructed this ego... You destroy it

If you are looking for real progress in nonduality, you must work on this shit. 

Your experience is very similar to mine. I have become very anxious a year ago and had the same idea that I must protect my worldview. I ended up in multiple mental diseases, self diagnosed, including paranoia, Generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder and few episodes of depression. I have been working on myself non-stop to heal myself and I have been making a lot of results. I think I will completely heal myself soon.

It was not just one thought but like multiple recurring thoughts, like a theme in my brain and I knew I must stop them. This has been the most important thing preventing me from doing proper nondual practices and causing me a lot of suffering in my life. 

Peace is not forced through self agenda, peace is self existing. Peace equals love. 

 

[Nahm]

The discomfort results from attachment to your thoughts. Your “worldview” is not right or wrong, it’s just thoughts you’re currently identified with. It’s stifling to hold on to it, it’s natural that it would otherwise be every changing. It’s the suffering from attachment that leads to avoiding so many things. Instill the discipline of daily practices in your life, let go of attachments. Be the peace you are anywhere with everyone.  

Also, might be wrong, but I get the feeling maybe it’s becoming time to support yourself. 

[cly]

Avoid those people as much as possible. Try to help them see your worldview, (if they don’t have you muzzled, with some hold over you if you speak your views), and if they don’t agree, or at least have a neutral attitude, then do the least amount as possible with them. They’re not worth the time or energy. Just interact whatever is needed for basic survival.

Edited June 23, 2019 by cly

[Commodent]

I assume you get anxious about watching bad YouTube channels etc. because you feel anxious about getting your worldview "disproven". What one should realize is that our worldview is an ever-changing flux that gets more and more refined as one explore different ideas. By only exposing yourself to certain ideas you are restricting this flow and thus stunting growth. What you really want is intellectual freedom, not the total and exclusive integration of the worldview that you assume to be correct.