Lost in Unconsciousness

[DrewNows]

When life spirals out of control before your very eyes 

Yesterday was one of those days when it feels like everyone and everything had it in for me. "A real test" one might say. It literally was a series of unfortunate events, consisting of cranky, moody family members lashing out, dogs fighting, working in 110 degree heat, a broken lock, and finally, blowing an opportunity to ask a girl out, who i'd neglected to ask out several months ago. This was a tail spin that sent me out of control, emotionally and mentally 

I was completely aware, as i watched myself eat myself up, fed by the thought stories, the build up of hate, a need to escape, a need for isolation, filled with regret, anger, frustration, and self hate. This is what one might call a depressive episode of bipolar and is the result of taking life a little too seriously, not taking full responsibility for my experience and simply falling back asleep every moment. 

Recently i read 95% of our lives are lived unconscious, basically on autopilot.

Here's a quote from Dr. Nicole LePera, holistic psychologist: 

"We have lost our ability to think because we spend almost 95% of our lives unconscious. So rather than think, we emotionally react. Over and over again, we continue to be chained to the past. We don’t know how to sit with emotions.

If you want mental freedom, you need to learn how to think. Some of you are hearing your mental chatter and saying to yourself: I know how to think! I think all day long. And it’s true. We do. But we are thinking the same thoughts over and over again beyond our awareness. Beyond our control. Beyond choice.

Conscious thought is something a person can do only when they’re present. Only when you practice awareness and working through triggers. Our parents don’t teach us this. Our school systems certainly don’t teach this.

This is a skill one must teach themselves.

We’ve been hearing messages about everything I mentioned from the time we came into the world. Part of healing is releasing those messages and <choosing> what we believe. Not what a professor tells us. Not what our parents believed. Not what a guru tells us is ‘the way.’ What we believe.

There’s so much talk about how society holds us back. And I’m open to that discussion. But no one holds us back more than our own inability to think for ourselves"

Reflect on my story and this message, share what you'd like, ill try to be open to anything, much love  

 

Below is where i got her quote from Instagram 

 

 

Edited June 21, 2019 by DrewNows

[Rilles]

Sit down in silence and let the feelings wash over you, my friend, youll be alright! ??

[DrewNows]

18 minutes ago, Rilles said:

Sit down in silence and let the feelings wash over you, my friend, youll be alright! ??

I did! And also listened to certain types of music to allow emotions to pass through

had to let go of everything, today and yesterday are like night and day ?

[Bill W]

Great thread. I'm loving all this holistic psychologist material here and in the journal section of the forum.

Reading about that day from hell you had, I can relate to it so much, it's like I wrote this thread myself!

And by a strange twist of fate, you write about not asking the girl on a date and that you've been considering this for a while. I was given a golden opportunity to do this very same thing two days ago, and the timing of reading your thread is weird. I've been single for about 5 or 6 years now. And I've seen no "activity" in about 4 years. No dates. No sex. No kissing. Nothing in about 4 years. 

I'm getting more and more introverted as I go, especially around girls. I literally don't know what to do to progress things if someone shows an interest. Anyway, someone showed a lot of interest at a works training two days ago. I made what for me is taking the initiative and asking for her number to "stay in touch about work issues" as I put it. I'm such a pussy!!!!   

I'm seeing her tomorrow out of work, but the great thing is, neither of us are calling it a date. For me that's great, as I am a pussy that doesn't like taking risks with girls (major, major works needed on this). We are going to the gym and then I'm helping her with some tax refund stuff online. There's no pressure of it being a date which suits my lack of courage and guts right now . The danger in these situations is that my introvert nature and unwillingness to make the first move can be interpreted that I am not interested. The joys of social anxiety! 

Anyway, back to you. It's nice to get some more insight into you. I've been following a lot of your posts since I've joined the forum recently. You are on my VIP list 

Any chance of you coming across this girl again in the near future? The one you regret not asking out. 

[How to be wise]

@DrewNows Rather than trying to run away from it, why don’t you use this suffering to increase your consciousness. All you need is the intention. Next time you're suffering, make the intention that this suffering will increase my consciousness. You will grow a lot from this. It’s called conscious suffering. It might even be a spiritual technique.

[Truth Addict]

@DrewNows

Amazing work buddy!

All of this will seem nuts compared to something someone else is experiencing right now. It's easy to google how much suffering around the world there is. If you read a few stories, and watched a few videos, you would immediately realise how much you have and how your life is literally a paradise compared to them.

For me, as long as I have good health, literally nothing else matters. Health is the most important thing for me and I won't suffer for something else. Not clinging to health, but acknowledging the power I have that others don't.

[DrewNows]

2 hours ago, Bill W said:

Great thread. I'm loving all this holistic psychologist material here and in the journal section of the forum.

cheers man! yeah it's all about that self empowerment! 

2 hours ago, Bill W said:

I'm getting more and more introverted as I go, especially around girls. I literally don't know what to do to progress things if someone shows an interest. Anyway, someone showed a lot of interest at a works training two days ago. I made what for me is taking the initiative and asking for her number to "stay in touch about work issues" as I put it. I'm such a pussy!!!!   

Yes we are easily able to sit in our own conditioning, without any desire to change. If you're like me you can be a people pleaser and when it comes to woman, i tend to place them on a pedestal. I actually neglect my own needs and growth for the sake of a girl i simply have interest in, which turns out to be quite needy, insecure and shows low self esteem. I've often disguised my fear of rejection with confidence. Why do i interact from a place of fear when it is possible to act out of abundance with courage and boldness. Mindsets like "i know exactly what i want" "lets see if she meets my standards" "if not at least ill have this experience and maybe ill make her day". I think it would be cool if you told her next time you saw her you really asked for her number because you think she's cute. But that's just my thoughts

2 hours ago, Bill W said:

I'm seeing her tomorrow out of work, but the great thing is, neither of us are calling it a date. For me that's great, as I am a pussy that doesn't like taking risks with girls (major, major works needed on this). We are going to the gym and then I'm helping her with some tax refund stuff online. There's no pressure of it being a date which suits my lack of courage and guts right now . The danger in these situations is that my introvert nature and unwillingness to make the first move can be interpreted that I am not interested. The joys of social anxiety! 

Anyway, back to you. It's nice to get some more insight into you. I've been following a lot of your posts since I've joined the forum recently. You are on my VIP list 

Any chance of you coming across this girl again in the near future? The one you regret not asking out.

Appreciate you making me feel better with your similar experiences. I hope for both our sake we start focusing on our own needs before worrying about the needs of others, cuz i think this is the only way we can change out of these limited beliefs. I really blew it with this girl but it's not eating me up anymore because i know my attitude and focus have to change before i can attract more woman into my life. If i don't keep an abundance mindset, ill be creating more toxicity and suffering for myself and others, "aint nobody got time for that!" 

Thanks again Bill, enjoyed your share, 

Edit: good luck tomorrow! Don't hesitate to speak your mind, especially about how you're feeling anxious because that's some respectable honesty

Edited June 21, 2019 by DrewNows

[DrewNows]

43 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

@DrewNows Rather than trying to run away from it, why don’t you use this suffering to increase your consciousness. All you need is the intention. Next time you're suffering, make the intention that this suffering will increase my consciousness. You will grow a lot from this. It’s called conscious suffering. It might even be a spiritual technique.

Yes you are totally right after my first awakening i learned how to suffer consciously, this led to ending an alcohol addiction

But also there is trauma that can be triggered in certain situations, this is basically a reality check for the self which often triggers the fight or flight response, which is completely out of my control. Running is resistance = suffering in a sense, and after being aware of this behavior enough times, it can be stopped in it's tracks

28 minutes ago, Truth Addict said:

@DrewNows

Amazing work buddy!

All of this will seem nuts compared to something someone else is experiencing right now. It's easy to google how much suffering around the world there is. If you read a few stories, and watched a few videos, you would immediately realise how much you have and how your life is literally a paradise compared to them.

For me, as long as I have good health, literally nothing else matters. Health is the most important thing for me and I won't suffer for something else. Not clinging to health, but acknowledging the power I have that others don't.

My friend, suffering is suffering no matter our life situation. I think i understand what you're getting at of course, thanks  

I have it good, we have it reallll fucking good and there's much to be grateful for...unfortunately when ive attached to a depressed state of mind then judge everything, it does not matter what the world is dealing with...because i am clinging for my own dear life 

[Truth Addict]

@DrewNows

Everything you mentioned that caused you suffering is expendable and can be easily replaced/gained/fixed with good health.

On the other hand, without good health, you would be a cripple and wouldn't likely be able to help yourself.

You won't realise how important health is until you lose it (at least temporarily), or 'actually' see someone else not having it.

Health is the key for life, it's the key for all the ego games you mentioned. It, and dare I say, is THE KEY to the good life.

Watch your health. Wake up!

[DrewNows]

@Truth Addict what do you mean by health? Do you mean physical, mental or emotional, or perhaps all? 

It’s not what we have going for us but our ability to accept our current situation in order to make the best out of it, wouldn’t you agree? 

Edited June 22, 2019 by DrewNows

[Truth Addict]

@DrewNows

Yes, all of them. And perhaps even more.

And no, I disagree. It's both, but you're taking your health for granted, because you haven't contemplated its importance.

Making the best out of your situation requires the best health possible. They're both interconnected. The healthier you are, the more efficient you become.

Be careful not to dismiss the relative in the name of the absolute.

Edited June 22, 2019 by Truth Addict

[DrewNows]

@Truth Addict this is very broad, but what you’re saying is not to accept anything less than what makes me happy, so if that means changing my living environment, habits, relationships, career path etc then these changes must be made? 

 

[Truth Addict]

@DrewNows

No, I'm not saying any of that.

I'm just saying that health is THE MOST IMPORTANT part of Samsara, and if you ignore it, it will come back to bite you in the ass really hard.

Contemplate how difficult your life would be if you lose a hand, a leg, an eye, etc... All of the other stuff are available for you merely because you have a perfect healthy body.

Contemplate the case of your uncle as a homework assignment.

(The thing that does not like hearing what I'm saying is ego, so watch out).

Edited June 22, 2019 by Truth Addict

[DrewNows]

@Truth Addict health is largely dependent on one’s system of beliefs...

Bipolar or depression is a result of one’s inability to live a “healthy” life, this is true but it doesn’t mean they or ego is solely to blame. Not until they learn how and why they are creating their own shit so they can start taking responsibility 

my uncle is an ignorant case of someone stoping at their limiting beliefs as well as ignoring their physical health 

edit: if it’s simply tough love you’re bringing forth, much love ??

Edited June 22, 2019 by DrewNows

[Truth Addict]

@DrewNows

It is, but not merely love. It's also a simple fact of life.

Most people will not learn the real value of health until they lose it.

It is an invisible crown on the head of the healthy. Only the ill can see it.

It's really not up to you whether you can keep it or lose it. You've been gifted with good health and good information, you're one of the luckiest people on earth.

That being said, I don't know how could there be suffering anymore.

[DrewNows]

3 hours ago, Truth Addict said:

@DrewNows

It is, but not merely love. It's also a simple fact of life.

Most people will not learn the real value of health until they lose it.

It is an invisible crown on the head of the healthy. Only the ill can see it.

It's really not up to you whether you can keep it or lose it. You've been gifted with good health and good information, you're one of the luckiest people on earth.

That being said, I don't know how could there be suffering anymore.

So true...my father turned 60 some years back and he has taken his body’s aging with some bitterness about it, like he has a stick up his bum. It didn’t make much sense to me, at the time, as I thought, why can’t he accept that or even expect it? Not only does the deterioration of one’s health create more limitations, it creates more discouragement/limiting beliefs. Like oh damn I’m getting old, time to throw in the towel 

We all grow to learn life IS too short and the more time we spend denying, rejecting, or disowning it, the less satisfied we’ll be with it. It’s the sort of reality nobody wants to face, this is why there’s an aspect of life that is suffering. The sooner we realize the true value of suffering the less we’ll have to endure 

appreciate the reality check 

Edited June 22, 2019 by DrewNows