30 Days Of Solitude- Detox or Just Anxiousness?

[BlessedLion]

Hello fellow self-actualizers, 

 

I would like to get your insight on this, especially if any of you have done something similar.

 

Currently I am living alone in Mexico by the beach. All day i sit on the beach, read, meditate, surf, and do some work on the laptop if needed. I have never been really this alone and not trying to socialize while i am hereo. I was inspired by many of Leos' videos with the theme of us losing our essence and joy of "being" because of so many distractions in todays world. I am finding the more i sit around without much to do, like on the weekend i remove all distractions even surfing and books and just sit there.\, a lot of shit comes up, anxiety, restlessness, anger, and i begin to feel depleted and depressed. A conscious part of me is able to witness it and let it go in a sense but it seems to come back harder and stronger. As the days go by i feel like i am working through a lot, but how much of this is actual detoxing, like this restlessness and anxiety is leaving me and how much of it is just illusion? Like i am just restless because i am sitting around doing nothing and suffering unnecessarily? Will this go anywhere? I want to believe that a state of peace in being will come if i sit with myself in awareness long enough but it is getting more and more tempting everyday to fall back into old distractions (porn, drinking, partying, etc). I suppose this is ego backlash in the moment, just hard to see when i am burried in it. 

Anyone have experience with anything like this? 

Thanks! <3  

[Maya_0]

If you've never done something like this before, it's going to be a real challenge to just sit and do nothing. There will be lots of resistance from the ego and that is what it sounds like you're currently experiencing. I would recommend you take up some sort of spiritual practice though like mindfulness meditation, self inquiry, or yoga. I think one of those should help aid the spiritual purification process along. 

 

Eventually after a long period of spiritual work, you'll be able to sit on the beach all day long and be totally content, blissful and desireless for your old temptations. 

[Nahm]

You are not sitting on a beach at all. That’s ridiculous. 

[BlessedLion]

@Maya_0 Thank you for the insight, I just needed to be re assured that this is actually a purification process and not just sitting around for no reason. Mindfulness will help

 

@Nahm Uh, yeah i am...haha

[Nahm]

@BlessedLion Go deeper.