how to transcend sex and the desire for a pretty girl?

[flowboy]

14 hours ago, Shaun said:

My mindset just now is that there is nothing else in life worth pursuing other than enlightenment.

@Shaun You are full of shit and using enlightenment as a beautiful lofty cover, to rationalize your being a pussy.

You can't just 'skip over' fixing your self esteem issues because it's uncomfortable and you're afraid, and head straight for enlightenment. I mean the way you talk, it seems you don't even value your life purpose. This is called spiritual bypassing and it's harmful. You could become a very distorted and repressed person with a huge shadow. And now also a huge spiritual ego added on top of that, due to all the enlightenment work.

I mean do you want to end up like this guy:

And remember this thread:

Now I phrased this strongly to wake you up. You are free to disregard this and call me an asshole for pretending I know anything about you.

If you truly want to become a monk, more power to you. The reason I call bullshit on that is this phrase:

15 hours ago, Shaun said:

I'm open to a relationship if it arises but chasing it is just going to make me suffer more.

 

Much love, brother.

[aidenhall]

Why not find a girlfriend who is into personal development and spiritual growth and have conscious mindful sex together?

Chasing girls every weekend in clubs will most likely cause a huge distracting mess yes

[Shaun]

7 hours ago, flowboy said:

@Shaun You are full of shit and using enlightenment as a beautiful lofty cover, to rationalize your being a pussy.

You can't just 'skip over' fixing your self esteem issues because it's uncomfortable and you're afraid, and head straight for enlightenment. I mean the way you talk, it seems you don't even value your life purpose. This is called spiritual bypassing and it's harmful. You could become a very distorted and repressed person with a huge shadow. And now also a huge spiritual ego added on top of that, due to all the enlightenment work.

I mean do you want to end up like this guy:

And remember this thread:

Now I phrased this strongly to wake you up. You are free to disregard this and call me an asshole for pretending I know anything about you.

If you truly want to become a monk, more power to you. The reason I call bullshit on that is this phrase:

 

Much love, brother.

No, you're not being an asshole, it's a valid perspective based on how it looks from the outside. I read into some of those threads and there is a guy there who didn't even bother with pickup and ended up in a happy relationship.

All the stuff I have learned about nonduality over the past few months has damaged me probably beyond repair for the rest of my life. I don't have the creativity or drive any more for a life purpose. The best I can come up with is winning the lottery or installing/servicing electric vehicle charge points.

I am going to get the proper help for these issues but I just keep getting haunted by the idea that reality is just an illusion of my making and i'm totally alone. That's the general consensus here anyway.

 

[Shaun]

59 minutes ago, aidenhall said:

Why not find a girlfriend who is into personal development and spiritual growth and have conscious mindful sex together?

Chasing girls every weekend in clubs will most likely cause a huge distracting mess yes

That's my intention. I can't be arsed chasing after women who I have to dumb myself down for.

[flowboy]

19 minutes ago, Shaun said:

All the stuff I have learned about nonduality over the past few months has damaged me probably beyond repair for the rest of my life. I don't have the creativity or drive any more for a life purpose. The best I can come up with is winning the lottery or installing/servicing electric vehicle charge points.

I am going to get the proper help for these issues but I just keep getting haunted by the idea that reality is just an illusion of my making and i'm totally alone. That's the general consensus here anyway.

@Shaun

Yikes, I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time of it. At least we accomplished something here, though. We got to the heart of the issue.

• The most urgent issue for you is not that you can't seem to find the right woman
• The most urgent issue is not that you have sexual desires and that they cause you suffering
• The most urgent issue is that this nonduality stuff is depressing you! You took too much, too fast in your enthusiasm to be on the 'right' path.

I would say keep a meditation habit and stop all the other stuff that's making you feel bad. There's no need for it. As Leo says, the nondual explanations he offers in his advanced video are not meant to be taken as gospel. They are all false, untrue, by definition, because they're putting the inexpressible into words. So all that 'reality is an illusion' bullshit is of no value to you until you have awakening experiences for yourself. And then you will see how false the words are, and how actually not depressing the truth is.

I'm not speaking from experience. I've never awakened. That's why, however interesting, I don't look for meaning in this nondual stuff. It's not relevant to me (yet).

My two cents: take a step back from the theories about reality that you read here. Almost no one knows what they're talking about, because if they did, they would know that it's inexpressible with words. You can ask actual enlightened people if you need answers. Maybe @winterknight wants to weigh in here?

Be nice to your ego. You're stuck with it forever, it never goes away and you need it. Feed it wholesome things. Give it what it needs. Practice self love. Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, honestly, and assess what parts you need to work on before you arrive at the level where this nondual stuff starts to even matter.

Most importantly, re-learn to listen to your intuition! All this overthinking is probably clouding it. But you do have that soft, but determined voice somewhere inside you, that tells you what you really want, what your purpose is from moment to moment.

It's a great way to live spiritually, because when you master the skill of hearing your intuition, you can start to gracefully play out the role that God intended for your particular ego, and it will feel great!

 

Getting therapy is also a valid step in self-actualization, so do consider that, too, if you need something to ground you.

I wish you strength on your path.

[Shaun]

8 minutes ago, flowboy said:

@Shaun

Yikes, I'm sorry to hear that you are having a tough time of it. At least we accomplished something here, though. We got to the heart of the issue.

• The most urgent issue for you is not that you can't seem to find the right woman
• The most urgent issue is not that you have sexual desires and that they cause you suffering
• The most urgent issue is that this nonduality stuff is depressing you! You took too much, too fast in your enthusiasm to be on the 'right' path.

I would say keep a meditation habit and stop all the other stuff that's making you feel bad. There's no need for it. As Leo says, the nondual explanations he offers in his advanced video are not meant to be taken as gospel. They are all false, untrue, by definition, because they're putting the inexpressible into words. So all that 'reality is an illusion' bullshit is of no value to you until you have awakening experiences for yourself. And then you will see how false the words are, and how actually not depressing the truth is.

I'm not speaking from experience. I've never awakened. That's why, however interesting, I don't look for meaning in this nondual stuff. It's not relevant to me (yet).

My two cents: take a step back from the theories about reality that you read here. Almost no one knows what they're talking about, because if they did, they would know that it's inexpressible with words. You can ask actual enlightened people if you need answers. Maybe @winterknight wants to weigh in here?

Be nice to your ego. You're stuck with it forever, it never goes away and you need it. Feed it wholesome things. Give it what it needs. Practice self love. Look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs, honestly, and assess what parts you need to work on before you arrive at the level where this nondual stuff starts to even matter.

Most importantly, re-learn to listen to your intuition! All this overthinking is probably clouding it. But you do have that soft, but determined voice somewhere inside you, that tells you what you really want, what your purpose is from moment to moment.

It's a great way to live spiritually, because when you master the skill of hearing your intuition, you can start to gracefully play out the role that God intended for your particular ego, and it will feel great!

 

Getting therapy is also a valid step in self-actualization, so do consider that, too, if you need something to ground you.

I wish you strength on your path.

I hugely appreciate this, thank you. I will definitely keep the meditation going. That and listening to Channel Higher Self is really relaxing.

Those three urgent issues will be written down and taken to my meeting with the mental health nurse as my mind may go a bit blank.

To be honest, I find reality terrifying at times. I don't know what the fuck it wants from me or what will happen in future lives.

[bejapuskas]

@Shaun  Reality wants from you the exact thing that you do, that's the trick.

@flowboy

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

I would say keep a meditation habit and stop all the other stuff that's making you feel bad. There's no need for it. As Leo says, the nondual explanations he offers in his advanced video are not meant to be taken as gospel. They are all false, untrue, by definition, because they're putting the inexpressible into words. So all that 'reality is an illusion' bullshit is of no value to you until you have awakening experiences for yourself. And then you will see how false the words are, and how actually not depressing the truth is.

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

I'm not speaking from experience. I've never awakened. That's why, however interesting, I don't look for meaning in this nondual stuff. It's not relevant to me (yet).

Be careful with giving advice, when you have no experience.

[flowboy]

1 hour ago, bejapuskas said:

Be careful with giving advice, when you have no experience.

@bejapuskas I probably insulted some of your beliefs, which could make you want to twist my words like that. I never said I'm inexperienced in the things I'm recommending, nor the situation at hand. Anything specific you'd like to correct me on?

[bejapuskas]

@flowboy  I've said everything I wanted