Feeling of wasting life because not enough Sex

[oMarcos]

That feeling you might know. Thinking things such as : "I feel hot and handsome but not trying to get laid as I should". It's not that i am obsessed with sex itself (I love to f*ck honestly), It's the subtle thought that I should be doing it more often as if that meant I was having a fullfiled life as I should.  I've been doing shadow work the entire afternoon, and after finishing I got bored and ended up watching some porn, and she said "OMG It's so deep" and I felt like the shadow work it's less important than having a girl saying that sort of stuff to me. This is a bit silly, but you get the point, also the same goes for self development, seems like Sex it's always calling no matter how hard you try to grow.  I was thinking that maybe the need for sex will not necessarily ever end, what could change is to evolve for a more mature point of view, but wich point of view would that be exactly? 

Edited June 18, 2019 by oMarcos

[Omni]

relatively simple, what is the essence of sex? Survival. 

Understand survival at a fundamental level beyond living organisms and you can understand why you have an underlying fixation on wanting to have sex. It's instinctual, not only physically but mentally as well. Mentally it's a different story as it's more of a abstract notion of survival 

deconstruct this for example

Quote

 "I feel hot and handsome but not trying to get laid as I should"

That's purely mental survival, descriptive words such as hot/handsome and implying there is a "should" to how often you should have sex is a notion to keep you alive as a thought simply built on the attempt to physically survive, it's all a big mind fuck if you ask me.

[hamedsf]

Sex is both survival need and a supernatural cosmic activity that always has been diminished in importance by people!

if you're trying to avoid it for your own personal development, make sure it will go one full cycle and get back and will backfire on you ASAP!

Make sure that one of the building blocks of Self-Actualization is the foundational needs and if you don't check out with that the whole building of self-actualization would collapse 

Try to embrace it utterly, the urge for sex will only diminish that one day you cut  down your own genital organ intentionally! ( but then again the consequences would come up as compulsions and disorders :))) )  

 

P.S : SEX IS BOTH ANIMALISTIC AND SUPERNATURAL THING! 

Edited June 18, 2019 by hamedsf

[oMarcos]

I am aware of Survival needs. But I see it aswell as body pleasure. Many things we do for survival needs are also pleasure.

survival can be pleasure.

 If you said this "Relatively simple, what is the essence of sex? Pleasure" 

would be a lesser truth? 

after all this is all word games we're playing here @Omni 

[oMarcos]

I agree @hamedsf we need water, food, sex, shelter, these are foundational needs. But sex is not always possible. are you implying that self-development is harder if the need for sex is not acomplished?

I am not trying to avoid it, I totally embrace it, I just try to not make that such a big deal to my life, but maybe the body needs it like water and we try to be cool with it. maybe Freud was right about sex and human neurosis in some extent

Edited June 18, 2019 by oMarcos

[Omni]

26 minutes ago, oMarcos said:

I am aware of Survival needs. But I see it aswell as body pleasure. Many things we do for survival needs are also pleasure.

survival can be pleasure.

 If you said this "Relatively simple, what is the essence of sex? Pleasure" 

would be a lesser truth? 

after all this is all word games we're playing here @Omni 

of course it's a pleasure, i never discredited that. Pleasure isn't fundamental in any sense, it's a byproduct. 

Anything that is said at all is a word game, plain and simple. Expecting anything more would be the mistake.

To not grasp the DEPTH of survival leaves you at a disadvantage for what to expect. After all you did ask for a more mature point of view on it.

 

Quote

I was thinking that maybe the need for sex will not necessarily ever end, what could change is to evolve for a more mature point of view, but wich point of view would that be exactly? 

 

[Moreira]

If you think more sex is going to give you a more fulfilled life youre wrong.

[hamedsf]

28 minutes ago, oMarcos said:

I agree @hamedsf are you implying that self-development is harder if the need for sex is not acomplished?

 

Well, to certain extent yes! 

It's like a Game, as you're trying to build the blocks of self-actualization and put them upon each other, you should keep an eye for another tiers.

The irony is that the whole game of hierarchical structure never ends you should fill them constantly, it's like you're playing the game of Tetris for all 5 tiers

For instance, if you're doing the consciousness work, get a healthy relationship and be an expert handling that and then fulfill yourself and the partner from that

 

[hamedsf]

@Moreira and do you accept that if you don't get it at all you will feel desperate? 

 

[ajasatya]

@oMarcos Go for it and see if you can feel any better about your life.

[Shin]

30 minutes ago, Moreira said:

If you think more sex is going to give you a more fulfilled life youre wrong.

But he probably needs to see it for himself.

The trick is to be conscious while doing it.

[Shadowraix]

Pleasure is an amazing survival mechanic. We gravitate towards what pleasures us. Causes us to be addicted to survival. 

[SunnyNewDay]

4 hours ago, Moreira said:

If you think more sex is going to give you a more fulfilled life youre wrong.

It won't give you a more fulfilled life but being satisfied sexually really allows for some breathing room and the opportunity to have deeper insights and further understanding of emotions as well as the ever changing nature of the terrain that is reality. I would say it's like having enough money to not be in super survival mode all the time. It's really difficult to make deep inner changes if you're having to worry about where your next meal will come from or if you can afford rent. Same with food and water. You can survive okay on one meal a day of a little protein and water but that isn't enough food to climb a mountain. I think sex is comparable. It's possible to prioritize it too much and make it soulless kind of like McDonald's but even a little McDonald's every now and then isn't the end of the world. I would say it's a force that comes after food, water, and more basic stuff but we have it and it needs to be honored. I'm found not only the act of sex but everything that leads up to it like dating, the suspense and all that can really show all sorts of stuff about oneself and pinpoint areas of insecurity. 

[daniel695]

have you asked why you actually want sex? keep doing shadow work to find out why the real reason is. what do you get out of sex, what need is sex filling? what thoughts come to your mind when you think about never having sex? like what would you do?

can you even comprehend not having sex?

[CreamCat]

Leo Gura has had DEEP enlightenment experiences. He still has sexual desires, and he realizes sexual desires are natural and good.

The need for sex is not there for me. But, I still feel deep sexual urges.

Also consider the possibility that you actually need something other than sex when you feel the need for sex. Perhaps, eating food can quench the need for sex? Do you just need some sort of stimulation rather than sex?

Or, is one of your goals to fuck the hottest woman possible?

Edited June 19, 2019 by CreamCat

[hamedsf]

@CreamCat

2 hours ago, CreamCat said:

Leo Gura has had DEEP enlightenment experiences. He still has sexual desires, and he realizes sexual desires are natural and good.

 

Here is the most important point that you made which backs up my words in this topic, this is the most important thing that every spiritual school in the world ( like India or china or Nepal) miss, that's why they lost credibility from my point of view from the get-go when I saw that they were reducing the importance of sex just when started to realize about consciousness works and personal development,

when I saw the teachings of LEO, I was fascinated by the quality of his videos, and the one thing I didn't accept from him was that he talked about the needs and desires like sex as petty and trivial thing, but when I saw his last awakened video, eventually he said that he found all of his desires ( including desire to have sex ) natural 

 

[hamedsf]

one another point that I should make here is that when we talk about sex we always think of the the most lower part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but love and intimacy is also a part of sexual activity. so it's not only a basic thing but also the most significant thing

although, sex could also be turned to an addiction and the trap for personal development, that's another topic

[Shin]

15 minutes ago, hamedsf said:

although, sex could also be turned to an addiction and the trap for personal development, that's another topic

That's what most people do and stay trapped on the rest of their life.

Abstention isn't supposed to be used as a guideline for the rest of your life, it's only useful to go through the addiction mentally and physically to finally have meaningful and satisfactory sexual experience.

Complete abstinence for life and overindulgence in sex are both huge trap
And none of them work for real on the long term.

Edited June 19, 2019 by Shin

[hamedsf]

27 minutes ago, Shin said:

Complete abstinence for life and overindulgence in sex are both huge trap
 

“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

[Zigzag Idiot]

1 hour ago, hamedsf said:

“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

I love that quote,,,,