Need for Success Neurosis

[Eric H]

Hi all,

I'm seeing a pattern in my life that I'd like to break, and need some feedback. Pretty sure the solution is just "become more conscious", but would love some pointers on good questions or insights.

I used to be very desperate for a relationship. I dated over 50 girls in second year of university, and none of the relationships got past the second or third date because I "needed" a relationship so badly. Eventually, I let go of the need to be in a relationship. A week later, I met someone great and had my first healthy relationship.

I think the same thing is happening in my career. I'm 24, and I've been beating myself up for not being as successful as I thought I would be. My friends tell me that I seem "desperate" to succeed. I used to be very poor. I'll save you the sob story, but my "need to succeed" is coming from a lot of insecurity.

Anyone else ever have this kind of insecurity? How did you resolve it? I'm trying the Sedona/releasing method and self-inquiry in meditation.

[Surfingthewave]

Yes I can relate to this success paradigm. I was chasing my own tail for 10 years, desperately seeking success in my career. I realise now I was resisting and avoiding my own insecurities and massive low self esteem. I wasn't able to express myself and who I was so I thought being a hot shot TV executive was the answer. I smile at this now. 

You mentioned you used to be poor. Why do you think the two are linked - success/relationship chasing and lack of abundance? 

You're doing exactly the right thing for you, raising your awareness, self inquiry etc. I also spent years in meditation, some counselling, coaching, law of attraction work, affirmations, yoga, but interestingly for me it was Reiki healing that became the tipping point because I found my voice. Good luck my friend, it's an amazing journey. 

Edited June 18, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[Michael569]

Perhaps you first need to achieve a great success to truly realise the shallow fulfilment of success. 

 

 

[Elisabeth]

 

 

 

13 hours ago, Eric H said:

I think the same thing is happening in my career. I'm 24, and I've been beating myself up for not being as successful as I thought I would be.

Ask yourself if these expectations you had were realistic to begin with. 

[Eric H]

Thank you all for your replies, I appreciate the support and space to explore this issue.

8 hours ago, Surfingthewave said:

You mentioned you used to be poor. Why do you think the two are linked - success/relationship chasing and lack of abundance? 

I guess some people would say that a lack of external abundance and chasing success is evidence of a lack of internal abundance. I don't know how much I believe that. But I certainly believe that I'm still pretty insecure, and that's causing me to look on the outside for what I can only find within.

3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Perhaps you first need to achieve a great success to truly realise the shallow fulfilment of success. 

I'm reflecting now on the successes in my past, and I've done some impressive stuff like anyone else. I guess it's never enough.

2 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

Ask yourself if these expectations you had were realistic to begin with. 

This is something my friends ask me a lot. I'll be asking myself this question more regularly.

Edited June 18, 2019 by Eric H

[non_nothing]

@Eric H  Have you ever considered so seriously that you have one life to live as "ERIC"

If you are certain about death, why are you concerned about securing your way to death? Why insecurities?
Isn't it more logical to instead spend your time wisely and be "ERIC" in this life time? There will be never an "ERIC" to live once again

[Eric H]

3 hours ago, non_nothing said:

@Eric H  Have you ever considered so seriously that you have one life to live as "ERIC"

What an excellent and refreshing perspective!

[Eric H]

Update:

Did Ayahuasca, resolved the insecurity. Pyschedelics are fucking great.