My capacity of intimacy decreases while that of love increases.

[CreamCat]

By love, I mean acceptance and growth. I accept and love more than I used to. Yet, I do not feel or express intimacy. In the past, I used to be able to express intimacy. I have come to accept lack of intimacy a long time ago.

I must have done personal development wrong.

[Pallero]

Well, what do you mean by intimacy? Love and intimacy go hand in hand and you can't really gain one without gaining the other. Complete acceptance requires complete intimacy.

[CreamCat]

9 hours ago, flume said:

I wouldn’t say you’re doing something wrong if you’re ultimately feeling more connected to people.
And you do, don’t you?

I feel more connected in an abstract sense. More specifically, I feel more connected in the sense that I do not reject people.

9 hours ago, flume said:

You’re not obliged to be intimate all the time.
(At least physically, or do you mean something else like not being able to open up to people?)

I don't feel intimacy physically and emotionally. Perhaps, that's because I spend most of my time in my cave. Being isolated is not healthy.

Edited June 21, 2019 by CreamCat

[CreamCat]

41 minutes ago, flume said:

Your acceptance means that you have no (or little) selfish reactivity or agenda.

My acceptance is far from being unconditional. I still have a lot of selfish agenda. I just have a little less of it than I used to, but I can still feel the little difference. Only god is capable of unconditional love. I'm not. I see threats, and I feel the need to protect myself from threats.

By the way, are you a woman? Judging by your profile picture, you seem to be, but you don't write like most women that I've encountered in my life. You could be a man who uses a female profile picture. My profile picture on youtube used to be a cute anime girl.

Perhaps, I'm wasting too much time on this forum. I may try not visiting this forum for a while.

Edited June 25, 2019 by CreamCat

[CreamCat]

2 hours ago, flume said:

Now I'm curious though, what's so man-like about my writing?

• I may have developed prejudices by meeting a lot of weakly developed women.
  • Usually, weakly developed men and weakly developed women write in distinctive styles. I can distinguish them by style.
• There are distinctively female writing styles, but I cannot clearly define them. I know them when I read them.
  • Your writing style is neither female or macho. It feels neutral.

Edited June 25, 2019 by CreamCat