Doing pickup at a bar/club alone

[Angelo D]

What to say/do if you are getting along with a girl at a bar/club and then she asks if you are alone or with friends? When I tell girls I’m alone (because I can’t find a wing) they usually lose interest very quickly. 

Also, what’s the best way to find a wing in your city, seems like every decent pickup forum has been dead since 2009

[RendHeaven]

They're not losing interest because you said you're alone... they're losing interest because you're boring

As long as you're truly interesting, what you say is almost negligible. As long as you don't say incredibly offensive things you can get away with literally saying ANYTHING.

If it's true that they are getting bored (first of all we don't even know if that's a correct diagnosis) then your priority should be HOW CAN I BE INTERESTING.

Screw wings. They're just a crutch in most situations, unless they're actually your best bro in which case your chemistry makes it worth it.

Edited June 17, 2019 by RendHeaven

[Leo Gura]

A few good options here:

1) "My friends are around here somewhere." [point into a large crowd], or "I'm waiting for them to show up" or "They just left. They were tired."

2) Just own it and admit you're out alone. "I was bored at home and I felt like going out, so here I am." or "That's how I roll girl. I'm not part of some gaggle of sheep."

3) Just ignore and change the conversation into something else, "You seem like the kind of girl who voted for Trump. Admit it! You voted for Trump, didn't you?!" or "Why are you being so racist?"

They lose interest because you don't own your aloneness. If you think it's weird, she will think its weird. If you think its totally normal to be out at a club alone, she won't care either. But you have to keep the conversation moving. Don't just say you're alone and then let it hang. You gotta immediately follow up with some other conversation topic as if her question was nothing at all.

In general what you're lacking here is confidence. A confident man does not let some random girl judge him or frame control him. You gotta feel that you are way cooler than her no matter how many sheepish friends are around her. Her sheep friends are all fools and so is she for herding up with them. Be the badass lone wolf. And treat everyone in the club as your friends. You can make instant friends with some random guys in the club.

When you are in the club you gotta walk around like you are the owner of the place. Exude that kind of confidence and comfort.

[d0ornokey]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

A confident man does not let some random girl judge him or frame control him. You gotta feel that you are way cooler than her no matter how many sheepish friends are around her

I'm confused. Why are we trying to be cooler than them? Arent we all equal? 

The other day I met this girl, I wasnt too confident but she was fully accepting, kind, inclusive and befriending of me. I feel like that's a better way to approach it. I'm interested in your thoughts 

Edited June 17, 2019 by d0ornokey

[RendHeaven]

3 hours ago, d0ornokey said:

I'm confused. Why are we trying to be cooler than them? Arent we all equal? 

The other day I met this girl, I wasnt too confident but she was fully accepting, kind, inclusive and befriending of me. I feel like that's a better way to approach it. I'm interested in your thoughts 

Key word: "Feel"

Notice, Leo said you have to "feel" cooler than her. Not ACT cooler than her.

If you try to act cool you will come of as uncool.

If you manage to FEEL cool, however, the way you act really doesn't matter anymore so long as you're being yourself.

You have to remember, women are MUCH more keen at feeling out a person's "vibe." This is all beneath the surface. You could be saying "Yeah, life's great!" with your words while subtly conveying (by your energy) that you have absolutely no grip on life.

Men are generally blind in this regard 

[hamedsf]

THE PROBLEM ISN'T THAT YOU ARE ALONE, it is when you say that you are alone and at the same time. you FEEL AWKWARD AND GUILTY about yourself and that feelings ripple through the whole space and it makes the girl to walk away from you.

[Leo Gura]

15 hours ago, d0ornokey said:

I'm confused. Why are we trying to be cooler than them? Arent we all equal?

Existentially we are all equal. But this is pickup/dating. Within the dating game you gotta build up confidence.

If you feel like you're inferior and less cool than others, the girl will smell it off you like stink off a squashed skunk.

You have to feel entitled to the girl. You will only be able to attract and maintain girls who you feel entitled to. As soon as you start to feel, "Oh man, I'd be so lucky to have this girl", you've already lost her.

Your attitude must be: "This girl would be lucky to sleep with me because I'm such an awesome person." And then make that true. Turn yourself into an awesome person. This isn't just about BS-ing yourself or her. Your confidence must be grounded in the fact that you truly love yourself and recognize your own awesomeness.

It all boils down to building a high self-esteem.

How could you not be awesome? You are God after all! LOL. So start acting like it.

P.S. And God is always alone

[oMarcos]

why can't a man be alone in a bar... 

[Bittu]

If she askes you why are you alone, just stare at her like you just heard the most stupid question that has ever been asked. Then smile, laugh and touch her a little bit. Going out to clubs to get laid is not serious business, thats what everyone else is trying to do anyway. 

Be funny, make her laugh. If she asks you questions about your worth, just laugh. It'll feel weird at first, but it will get you results. Women like confidence. If she is upright rude, just walk away. 

Good luck!

[RendHeaven]

23 minutes ago, Bittu said:

Then smile, laugh and touch her a little bit.

I would personally never give touching as advice until it's established that this is a person who is comfortable in their own skin.

A genuine smile, combined with a genuine laugh combined with genuine touching is killer.

A forced smile, a half-laugh, and a rigid, rehearsed touch is disgusting.