how do i know if i love someone?

[Viking]

How can people clearly say to each other "i love you"? if someone asks me if i love him/her i have no idea what to answer. i dont know if i love my parents, i dont feel anything for them. i dont know if i love my brother or grandma, i dont feel anything when i think about them or ask myself whether i love them.

is love even an emotion? or is it something that doesn't have to be necessarily in my conscious attention? what do people mean when they ask me whether i love them?

there are definitely people that if they would die i would cry and be devastated. is that love?

[universe]

Is there anything in your life, even objects, ideas or yourself that you feel like you could love?

Have you watched this video?

 

Edited June 16, 2019 by universe

[Viking]

9 hours ago, universe said:

Is there anything in your life, even objects, ideas or yourself that you feel like you could love?

Have you watched this video?

 

i have seen that video but it wasnt helpful.

I guess I could love my family. I guess I also loved videogames and tv shows back in the day but now I stopped. i feel also that my love for those things was momentary, its just things i did and i loved them a lot sometimes, but mostly i didnt.

right now i dont feel like i love anything in my life except maybe my family but thats why im asking the question. im not sure, how do i know?

[tsuki]

 

[universe]

Why do you want to know? Do you feel like something is missing in your life right now?

 

Also how is your relationships with your feelings in general. Do you feel anger, fear, joy, gratitude anything?

[Viking]

49 minutes ago, universe said:

Why do you want to know?

I want to know because I want to tell people that I love them, in case I actually do. That's important. I'm not sure what I feel.

1 hour ago, universe said:

Do you feel like something is missing in your life right now?

I don't have close friends, I don't have a girlfriend, i'm not communicating enough with people and I don't have meaningful connections in my life. Those are basic needs and I miss them in my life. I'm trying to get a girlfriend on dating apps but it's tough. Regarding friends, it's very challenging for me to meet new people, I dont know how and there are very few social activities in my area and the few that exist have people that i cant connect with.

1 hour ago, universe said:

Also how is your relationships with your feelings in general. Do you feel anger, fear, joy, gratitude anything?

Anger I feel extremely rarely. Fear I feel sometimes. Joy I feel rarely. Gratitude I feel sometimes. I also feel sadness, often feel the need to cry. Mostly I don't feel anything though.

[Salvijus]

On 2019-06-15 at 8:16 PM, Viking said:

what do people mean when they ask me whether i love them

It's whether you like someone. 

I like some people, i like some people so much that i say. "Man i love this guy, he/she is so amazing." 

I think that's the definition of love here. To like somebody. Do you like anyone?

[bejapuskas]

@Viking  I smell some insecurity. Are you sure, that it is not a deeper problem? I am having a similar problem myself and it feels like I am not sure, whether it is a good idea to fall in love with someone, sounds familiar or not at all? I am trying to find the rootcause.

[Viking]

2 hours ago, Salvijus said:

I think that's the definition of love here. To like somebody. Do you like anyone?

I may not like my dad but I can love him a lot.

@bejapuskas I dont think for me it's about insecurity. it's about figuring out what love is for me, i was very confused about the subject but @tsuki helped me in private. I think I understood it. Love is giving a part of yourself to other people. caring about them and giving them. When love is present it doesnt have to come with emotions. The way to know if you love someone is look back and see how much you shared of yourself with that person. For example I love my parents a lot because my whole life is tangled with them. I would imagine if they would pass away I would be pretty devastated. That's another test, to see how you would react if you would lose them in some way (like breakups also).

I also understand now how much I love my grandmother for example, because each week I spend time to come and visit her, because I care that she would feel loved.

Edited June 16, 2019 by Viking

[bejapuskas]

@Viking  nice  

[Yasser]

stop playing around 

ask the main question 'do you love yourself ? 

if so you'll feel love toward most people 

if not 

you'll have to make it happen before it kills you inside 

[bejapuskas]

11 hours ago, Yasser said:

stop playing around 

ask the main question 'do you love yourself ? 

if so you'll feel love toward most people 

if not 

you'll have to make it happen before it kills you inside 

I agree with this