My Confessional

[LastThursday]

In another thread, in passing, the topic of confessing our weak spots came up. Specifically @Zigzag Idiot said:

"I feel the forum would be more balanced if we could all be a little more confessional of our weak spots. With hopefully a more mindful and spacious atmosphere developing. Where just the confession of a shortcoming is allowed to sit in quiet with some kind of subtle acknowledgements from others who are also doing the Work."

I think it is really important to dwell on our weak spots and to be open and vulnerable to other people about them. And what better place than this forum to do that? In confessing our weaknesses there is strength.

The idea here is simply to simply listen and contemplate, not to try and fix or help or argue or whatever. Feel free to do the same. So as a taster here goes:

•     I have a bad habit of shutting people out of my life who have 'wronged' me in some way, rather than resolving the problem with them first.
•     I have a strong tendency to hide from life, rather than being open to it and brave.
•     I don't plan my future and sometimes to my own detriment.
•     I would like to lead an amazing life, but I take no action towards it, then beat myself up for being miserable.
•     I feel a huge amount of loneliness, despite the fact that I'm good with people, and could make friends easily if I applied myself
•     I feel the need to show my cleverness so that I get approval and love from others
•     I hold myself back from people to accommodate to them, rather than just being my authentic self
•     I'm never satisfied with the way I am, and constantly need to question myself, which is emotionally draining

Ok that's enough! Now your turn.

 

Edited June 15, 2019 by LastThursday

[Zigzag Idiot]

Start of a list. 

• I develop hero worship for nearly every spiritual Teacher who has an influence on me.
• The whole of my life has been dominated by seeing the world through a perceptual filter of fear.
• I alternate frequently between being an attention whore to wanting to hide from the world.
• I've yet to overcome periodic episodes of hatred.

 

To be continued.

[Bill W]

Good topic. For me, these are some of things that I'm working on, and that I consider my weak spots; 

 

Most problematic

• Withdrawing from others combined with withholding attention/affection, linked to punishing people for "wrong doings"
• Not admitting I've done the same thing (linked to the above)
• Attributing my own poor behaviour to stress or adverse circumstances, but not giving others the same benefit (again linked to the above!)
• Expecting others to be what they are not (as above!)
• Not listening properly, and not paying attention 
• Very poor self-control with diet

Less problematic (making progress but still struggling often)

• Blaming others
• Taking things personally
• Entitlement
• Not being open and honest, expecting others to “read between the lines”
• Intolerance
• Not forgiving 
• Not admitting when I am at fault   

[Zigzag Idiot]

15 hours ago, Zigzag Idiot said:

Start of a list. 

• I develop hero worship for nearly every spiritual Teacher who has an influence on me.
• The whole of my life has been dominated by seeing the world through a perceptual filter of fear.
• I alternate frequently between being an attention whore to wanting to hide from the world.
• I've yet to overcome periodic episodes of hatred.

 

To be continued.

 

As stated in the other thread, I still catch myself -

• Having the need to be right.
• Having the need to know something, anything about a topic instead of just stating, "I don't know",
•  Imagination still pollutes all areas of my life.
•  Arrogant attitude that I still see subtle elements of imagination that 99,85 percent of World doesn't. What Gurdjieff called Kundabuffer 
• Still self congradulatory at times.