I am utterly empty and helpless

[Shaun]

10 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Shaun You must go deeper. This is just the surface level and, honestly, it sounds too much like intellectual conclusions rather than actually being awake.

At the bottom of the bucket you will find endless love.

The only thing that keeps me going just now is telling myself that I'm deluded. 

[Solace]

@Shaun You are love. All is love. Trust this. Live this. Be this.

You say you can’t find love, but if everything is love, where is there to go? What is there to seek? You already are perfect, so how can  you be otherwise? That wouldn’t be possible because that would imply there is separation, there is you, and then God. How do you find God when you are surrounded by God, birthed by God, and are God looking around at God believing it to be other than God even though his cannot be?

This universal Truth means that you can totally relax. You already are the bliss that you seek. The world arises as bliss, within bliss, as a manifestation of bliss, remaining as bliss. What a wonderful realization to have. Yes, it is that direct, stop believing the illusion that you are this person living in a world when you can believe the Truth that Love is the only thing that exists, and has ever existed. The mind will doubt the Truth at first, “how can this be?”, yet know that regardless of whether your mind believes it or not, this is the Truth of your existence. You are this, no matter what happens.

Make sure you embrace this oneness as you live your daily life, and that especially, your spiritual practice carries this Truth. During my meditations I have experinced in myself that without this trust that I am love (or any other word that represents God to you) in this moment, even if I say “I am Love” I am still saying, “I’m not worthy of love” on a deeper level. Thus we start at the deepest level of our reality (the foundations of which the ego is built upon) which is what we hold as our deepest truth, and if you hold the Truth that you have already arrived, that everywhere you look is love, then you will feel it, and you will awaken. The deepest Truth we hold in our beings will become our reality, and it is that Truth which determines if we are living from love and wholeness or the ego. Every moment then becomes an opportunity for you to practice feeling that everything is perfect. You have always been doing this subconsciously but instead your deepest Truth has been something along the lines of, “I Am other than love, I am alone in this universe”. This is an illusion. The universe is one with you always. Indeed this is how powerful our minds are, to place fog and mirrors over our true infinite nature. 

You will have to face all of the illusions you’ve had about yourself and the world along the way. All of the emotions and patterns of thoughts. And it will be hard at times, but with perservarance you will succeed. 

Namaste!

Edited June 15, 2019 by Solace

[Surfingthewave]

We missed you @Solace great words 

[Jkris]

@Shaun I really dont understand your problem ? ? No emotions nothing - isnt that not supposed to be peaceful ?

And whats the fear about you are feeling in the morning ?

 

 

[Shaun]

11 minutes ago, Jkris said:

@Shaun I really dont understand your problem ? ? No emotions nothing - isnt that not supposed to be peaceful ?

And whats the fear about you are feeling in the morning ?

 

 

I just don't know how to feel love or joy any more, all I feel is empty. The fear in the mornings come from the dreams I have every night because as I've discovered, they are no more or less real than what goes on in the waking state. I also still can't get over the possibility that I will experience everything without exception. I have to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to have to suffer in other lives far more than I am in this one.

My memories are lies, my life never happened, it's all just a story that I make up and it has no truth to it.

[Inliytened1]

@Shaun can you try just Being and living in present with no overly conceptualizing?

Im not a Dr but maybe anxiety meds might help if it gets so bad you can't function.

Edited June 16, 2019 by Inliytened1

[Shaun]

59 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Shaun can you try just Being and living in present with no overly conceptualizing?

Im not a Dr but maybe anxiety meds might help if it gets so bad you can't function.

I'm usually not too bad at that during the day but it's my dreams that are causing the most problems just now. Yesterday I was playing around with my car and plugging the laptop into it to do some checks, later I checked on one of our dogs who has a cancer tumour on her tummy. What do I dream of at night? Plugging the damn laptop into the dog to diagnose what's wrong with her, the dog splits into two dogs and I fall out with my mum because she got angry and destroyed my cable which I spent £8 on. It's so fucked up because the dreams are becoming increasingly lifelike and nonsensical. They may sound funny from the outside but for me it's scary stuff. I've never had an issue with dreams until I seriously started nondual practices six months ago. I wake up in the morning and it feels like I'm still dreaming which is true in a sense.

This brings me to a new idea, maybe we could create a dreams mega thread where we can discuss our dreams and offer guidance?

Edited June 16, 2019 by Shaun

[Jkris]

@Shaun Dont take dreams seriously.They have no meaning.Again you are identifying with the body mind super impositions.

Remember you as God you are neither the doer nor the experiencer.You are aware of yourself alone.

Remember all experiences are not real.

For you world doesnt exist nothing exist.Thats the absolute truth.

Everything is happening in its presence.

Oneness is not self.Oneness is an experience and hence it is not real.

But if that doesnt help.Purify your mind.Replace them with greater thoughts.

See Love everything as God.

Do some selfless service.

Have a daily regular routine for your daily activities and Meditation,yoga,pranayama.

Go to gym and do some excercise before sleep.So that will get some good deep sleep.

Have assosiation with holy spiritual enlightened beings,monks.

Attend satsangs.

Read contemplate spiritual books.preferably the traditional old books.

???

[Shaun]

15 hours ago, Jkris said:

@Shaun Dont take dreams seriously.They have no meaning.Again you are identifying with the body mind super impositions.

Remember you as God you are neither the doer nor the experiencer.You are aware of yourself alone.

Remember all experiences are not real.

For you world doesnt exist nothing exist.Thats the absolute truth.

Everything is happening in its presence.

Oneness is not self.Oneness is an experience and hence it is not real.

But if that doesnt help.Purify your mind.Replace them with greater thoughts.

See Love everything as God.

Do some selfless service.

Have a daily regular routine for your daily activities and Meditation,yoga,pranayama.

Go to gym and do some excercise before sleep.So that will get some good deep sleep.

Have assosiation with holy spiritual enlightened beings,monks.

Attend satsangs.

Read contemplate spiritual books.preferably the traditional old books.

???

I can't attend any satsangs as there are none near where I live. There is a plum village sangha close by but there are no spiritual teachers there, it is just a basic mindfulness group. And as for the selfless service, there are no others to serve, serving others directly conflicts self inquiry practice because the others are just hallucinations. 

[abrakamowse]

@Shaun

9 hours ago, Shaun said:

I can't attend any satsangs as there are none near where I live. There is a plum village sangha close by but there are no spiritual teachers there, it is just a basic mindfulness group. And as for the selfless service, there are no others to serve, serving others directly conflicts self inquiry practice because the others are just hallucinations. 

No, they are you! Hallucinations is just a word, a pointer! You are serving yourself!!!!

[zeroISinfinity]

14 hours ago, abrakamowse said:

@Shaun

No, they are you! Hallucinations is just a word, a pointer! You are serving yourself!!!!

@Shaun

Very nice @abrakamowse?

????❤️

[abrakamowse]

@zeroISinfinity   

[Conrad]

On ‎14‎.‎06‎.‎2019 at 11:58 AM, Shaun said:

So I'm hallucinating this whole thing. Leo, my family and the entire universe. Nothing more than fake hallucinations with no more life to them than a video on a screen or character in a computer game. I really can't do anything with my life any more as there is nobody to benefit from anything I do. I don't even know why I'm making this post to be honest. Every day I feel nothing. I no longer know how to feel love or joy as there is nothing to achieve and no goal any more. I am absolutely stuck now, suicide is no option and there are no options. I wouldn't say that I'm suffering, there is just no emotion now apart from great fear in the morning.

I used to think that we are all pure consciousness, we are all in this mind and when a person awakens, a little bit of that one mind awakens and the whole thing was working to know itself and once the whole mind awakens to its true essence, it was nirvana for eternity.

It's not like that. Once I know myself, I just start the cycle again from the stages of primordial sludge and all the misery continues ad infinitum. How the hell do I work with that?

With every downside there is an upside  

[Shaun]

11 hours ago, Conrad said:

With every downside there is an upside  

I have yet to see an upside to this.

[Shin]

1 minute ago, Shaun said:

I have yet to see an upside to this.

You will stop trying to get a meaning out of life and you will stop feeling empty.