The Giving Tree

[mandyjw]

@Zigzag Idiot Is this God, the Father and the Holy Spirit? 

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Sort answer - no.

on my way out the door. Will give more reply later.

Thanks

[mandyjw]

@Zigzag Idiot Ok, I was just thinking, the hand is the son, the manifest physical. The Father is the realization/acknowledgement of the space the hand resides/exists in. The Holy Spirit is Love. 

[Zigzag Idiot]

Master Teacher Cynthia Bourgeault says it’s a common mistake to equate the law of Three and the Holy Trinity. I’m still pondering off and on about it. Maybe these short clips will help give insight.

By the way, I’ve wandered away for now from the Secret of the Golden flower. Obviously.?

L

[mandyjw]

@Zigzag Idiot Thank you, I watched them all but need to watch them again when i'm more focused.

Synchronicity, we ran out of toilet paper downstairs and then watched Leo's video.

The "dark" side of me deeply enjoys those rare glimpses into Leo's shadow side. He constantly uses the example of having a daughter and being afraid of something happening to her. In this video he talked about having the fear of an ugly child, ESPECIALLY a daughter. I'm just going to leave that here without drawing conclusions right now. The fear of poison example of Trump going back to the Russians rather than woman's/witch associations with poison was so fucking frustrating/tantalizingly revealing I could scream. 

Sigh..... Deep breath. Going for a run now. 

Still have about a  half hour of the video to go. 

 

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

I think Leo may enguage in 'pushing buttons', but for a specific reason and one that's also out of love. 

I still need to process this more before I say much else.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[mandyjw]

He definitely does but the vulnerability of being female seems to be a constant go to example and theme. Am I the only one who notices or is bothered by this? Maybe he is trying to point something out to a male audience? My father in law said something similar once, about cleft lips and how awful it would be for girls. It's like girls have to carry the weight of judgmental beauty. Beauty is destroyed when standards are imparted upon it by people who don't know how to truly see.

Dad and I took the dogs out for a run in the woods again and he told me about an extremely large woman he saw at work. He was talking about manifesting mushrooms and shortly thereafter we saw this massive bloated ugly mushroom and he said I manifested it. I told him no, HE had manifested it with his story of the obese woman. He also talked about a woman who manipulated her uniform to show off her shape and how all the men noticed her. It's hard to listen to and tolerate these stories from his point of view and know how objectifying he is.

Later we were talking about psychology and I told him how addictions and problems can serve us, and that sometimes we aren't conscious of how. I used the example of a woman who overeats so that she won't be seen as a sex object or subject to men's advances anymore. She could be free from the distraction and confusion of being seen as an object and be distraction free to focus on herself. She could work alongside and with men and be seen as an equal instead of a distraction and object of desire. I could tell by his face that I had caused my dad to have a sort of revelation. 

Edited September 15, 2019 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

Why is my life one big unending psychedelic trip. 

I only LOOK at the mushrooms. I only eat the nonpsychedelic ones. It doesn't matter, we're inescapably one. Poison, nurturing, psychedelic. Fat and skinny, beautiful and ugly.

I am them all. 

[DrewNows]

5 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

 

Why is my life one big unending psychedelic trip. 

 

I am them all. 

Ain’t that the truth. “My momma always said, life’s like a box of chocolates” “never know what you’re gonna get” 

I could see you skipping hand in hand through the forest with magical shrooms living breathing writing your very own fairy tail  

[mandyjw]

@DrewNows I don't skip, I lurk.

I had a conversation with my husband and asked why God wants to experience life as an unconscious person. He said because being conscious isn't better than being unconscious, which he later expounded upon to say that the meaning of conscious automatically creates the unconscious. 

In the woods today with my dad, I told him that God loved the world so he gave us free will, and that automatically created the devil or the potential for devilry rather. So I understood that my husband was giving the same answer I explained to my dad but from the angle of being spiritually awake or asleep. And I understood that there was no difference really.

So I asked why and he started talking about artificial intelligence and how robots learn and are programmed. He said that if you allow robots to learn by simulating free choice with randomness they perform much better than if you choose a perfect scenario and program that in. We're here to learn and evolve. 

Of course there's not really conscious and unconscious and there's not really free will and there really isn't any time that we can evolve over. 

But I'll play your game God. 

Most of us say God, I don't want to meditate that would be boring as FUCK, obviously I'm here to do things! Then you decide that the thing you WANT to do is to mediate and you realize that you turned the light around and BAM. Gotcha. 

[seeking_brilliance]

On 9/15/2019 at 8:29 PM, mandyjw said:

Most of us say God, I don't want to meditate that would be boring as FUCK, obviously I'm here to do things! Then you decide that the thing you WANT to do is to mediate and you realize that you turned the light around and BAM. Gotcha. 

HAHA so true... well I'm still working on the second part...

Edited September 17, 2019 by seeking_brilliance

[mandyjw]

In a way I've integrated my awakening from almost 6 months ago, by that I mean I have my focus back and am able to go about daily life normally like a responsible adult. I've even gone back to watching youtube videos of middle aged women who have impeccable homes film themselves while cleaning so that I have motivation to actually pick stuff up off the floor and throw out old food from the fridge. Don't judge me. I'm really enjoying my work again especially with the fall and Halloween season and making money is a joy most of the time and not an obligation. My mood is pretty even keel again.

 However, it's only been integrated on that external level. there are still lots of realizations, re-framing and "ohhhhhhh.... fuck..." moments. I never understood how creepy the nature of reality is. I never knew how much I avoided creepy things or being associated with them. Also I hated technology and video games. Yet life is just one simulation. Why on earth would it be FUN in a video game to buy things, to improve, to learn, to meet people, to uncover a story line? Well... because that's what god is doing all the time. 

I've realized that I'm here to want things and to collect data, and I have chosen to experience everything that comes my way. When it's logical to hate the place I live, I adore it. Because God wanted to experience itself this form for at least 30 years anyway, living in the middle of nowhere. I don't have to care about other people's experiences or have fear of missing out, because I am all experiences and this is the one that I am choosing/ has been chosen for me. The rabbit hole of personal development and taking "personal responsibility" is deep. 

My life is beautifully orchestrated. If no one ever hears the music, it doesn't matter, that's also beauty. 

I see the nothingness in the everything. I see beauty and art as communication from source.

Mikael's post about being a leg man gave me a huge revelation about men and their obsession with women's looks. Of course! 

I looove this time of year. Summer is dying, but good Lord, the colors. The leaves start to change and the mushrooms bloom in the woods, and there are still flowers everywhere and ripe apples on the trees. Of course I'd chose to be born this month, on the full moon. 

[mandyjw]

 

[Nahm]

On 9/15/2019 at 8:29 PM, mandyjw said:

why God wants to experience life as an unconscious person

Gotta ignore the entire forum for that one. Infinite within infinite is still nothing in the consciousness of infinite - no experience. 

Yet, here we are, so....

 

This is arguably the most fundamental realization, and stands to change everything, entirely. 

[Aakash]

Ahah ohh the irony of it. Beautiful in nature, sneaky until the end. 

I say cheese you say mustard on our ketchup and mayonnaise 

[zeroISinfinity]

Yup experience is not possible. 

There was never any but this will bring New sets of QUESTions and so on. 

 

Do YOU really want to know all. ❤️

Edited September 19, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[mandyjw]

@Nahm It kind of is/has. The haughtiness with which I posed the question and his answer was like a wall that got broken through and ever since then it seems like peace is falling into place ever so lightly like a feather falling to the ground. 

[seeking_brilliance]

Thought you would like this:

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

What you were communicating in your last video reminded me of the message given in this book.

For whatever that's worth. ??

 

 

[DrewNows]

34 minutes ago, seeking_brilliance said:

Thought you would like this:

 

oooh wow I really love that ?

Good video Mandy since I’ve been microdosing psilocybin, specifically on the days I do, it’s like the plants are calling to me, all sorts of beauties are catching my eye ? 

I also had the thought about the human species appearing as ants from a certain perspective. We all have our roles in society but we tend to want to make things so complicated as we lose the ability to notice our innate drivers/desires that solve all our basic needs and create fulfillment without all the mental noise of control (might be rambling into incomprehension, I apologize if that’s the case) 

you spoke about getting in tune with senses, really appreciating experience, and this can also go for the thought sense right? I mean I know SEEING is literally appreciating the beauty before tying any sort of meaning or label on the objects and their qualities. Have you smelled something “bad” and truly smelled it before having the reactive response “eww gross”? 

Anyways, I’m curious about the sense of thought, its creative potential is beyond measure, and it can go unappreciated and obviously misunderstood/misinterpreted