The Giving Tree

[jbram2002]

I think the Jonathan Apples were the ones planted by Johnny Appleseed. I learned a bunch about him back in grade school cause, well, my name. Although the wiki for it is saying something else. The page for Johnny Appleseed says that because he was against grafting, the apples he planted actually didn't taste good and were only useful for making cider. In other words, he spread the gift of booze across America. That's something they never taught me in school .

Hmm... funny enough, his brother had the same name as my brother. Definitely a coincidence.

But yes, my name means I'm a literal gift of God. I'm not overly proud or anything

Edited September 23, 2019 by jbram2002

[Zigzag Idiot]

  @jbram2002 It's good to hear from you. Even though I remembered your name wrong, ?

All the synchronicities,,,,, I'm just watching.

[mandyjw]

The world is endlessly fascinating. 

"Not all who wander are lost."

I GET it now!!! 

[mandyjw]

Edgar Allan Poe

To the River

Fair river! in thy bright, clear flow

Of crystal, wandering water,

Thou art an emblem of the glow

Of beauty- the unhidden heart-

The playful maziness of art In old Alberto's daughter;

But when within thy wave she looks-

Which glistens then, and trembles-

Why, then, the prettiest of brooks

Her worshipper resembles;

For in his heart, as in thy stream,

Her image deeply lies-

His heart which trembles at the beam

Of her soul-searching eyes.

https://www.poetryloverspage.com/poets/poe/lake.html

Edited September 25, 2019 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

I need to ask my dad for a complete description of his Pastor when he was a kid. Dad always felt like this Pastor was just playing a game and had moved beyond what he taught spiritually. He ended up leaving the church because he had an affair with another woman in the church. 

Dad had a friend named David Mushrow who was a foster child and may have been abused. Dad described him as being incredibly spiritual and highly evolved morally. He died when he fell off a wagon haying. Dad came to church one morning and saved a seat for him like he always did and they told him there at church. He became very angry at the whole thing and blamed another boy for his death. 

My Grandfather died of a heart attack when my dad was 17. He started feeling bad and drove himself to the ER. Dad was going to take him but has lost his license for some small traffic offense and couldn't. My Grandfather died in the ER alone waiting to be seen. Dad was in hay field working for a neighbor. He knew immediately that his Dad had died and when they came to tell him they were afraid of him because he already knew. 

My dad loves to tell stories and he loves drama. That's how he experiences the world. My mother's reaction to this is to be overly stoic and to disrespect it. My Grandfather on my mom's side was very quiet and stoic. My dad worked for him and would always come back after the day with a wild story to tell. One day my grandfather got ahead of Dad and asked what wild thing had happened that day.

What my mother and grandfather don't know is that, you get what you give attention to. If you want an exciting life, you'll get one. if you see everything as mundane, it will be. Dad's life and experiences were just as colorful and vivid as he told them. 

Edited September 25, 2019 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

I can't figure out the caffeine thing.

Coffee- slight headaches and issues staying mindful and grounded. 

Green tea and black tea - full of fluoride. Out of concern for my pineal gland I cut out almond milk (calcium carbonate) and all tea. Green tea was the perfect level of caffeine though. 

90% chocolate- high lead and cadmium levels plus weight gain because of high calorie count

No caffeine- weight gain.

Right now I drink 1/3 to a half cup of coffee on some days but not all and am trying to limit my chocolate intake. 

Edited September 25, 2019 by mandyjw

[jbram2002]

I recommend figuring out which of these downsides is least important to you and going with that choice. I think you seemed happiest on green tea.

[DrewNows]

@jbram2002 Sup man. *waves* 

@mandyjw Using caffeine for weight management? interesting. Personally id let go of any dependence on it because we build up such a quick tolerance and it's not actually very beneficial. You tried a just a piece of fruit in the morning and some exercise/strength training? That oughta get the metabolism going. Then save the caffeine for special occasions, as in don't pay too much attention, treat it as a special treat so you get the most out of it and lose any dependency. Crazy as it sounds im working toward losing all dependency for food, water, and substances. It has required some radical shifting of my beliefs and sometimes the mind is like, no fucking way you can get so much enjoyment out of food! But its a slow process and the health benefits are totally worth it thus far, and i havent even got my kidney's filtering again,  

[mandyjw]

I woke up and feel asleep again somewhat and heard/thought

"When nothing is right, write harder." 

I understand a few things better now.

I am going to write a novel at some point. The line between my real life and fantasy is blurred and gone forevermore. The novels I had in my head were allegory and predictions of my own life. 

It can't be rushed. Eckhart Tolle warns "Don't write your book too soon." 

It is going to be written for me . From source. 

Writing is my form of intoxication. 

 

[mandyjw]

Last night I had a bizarre and disturbing dream. Before, this would be the type of dream that I would try to forget as soon as I could but the message is quite profound I think.

I dreamed that I was doing surgery on someone, they were out but didn't know or consent  to having a surgery and we weren't supposed to be doing it. I was with a man and a woman and "I" wasn't really Mandy at all and had very little to do with Mandy, a common thing that happens in my dreams. I was supposed to be doing a face transplant or some incredible type of surgery that's barely possible in real life. Only I had no surgical skills or hospital setting. Someone walked in and we tried to hide what we were doing. I was supposed to make a first cut with the scalpel and I chickened out. I left at some point and the other couple had done the surgery. The woman we did the surgery on resembled a woman I know, someone who I've been a bit upset with lately. I was so worried that she would die, and felt the horror of what had been done throughout the process and after. She woke up and was completely herself, her face looked slightly different but it looked fine and she didn't notice a thing at all. She was completely oblivious that anything had happened. 

Message, when I try to change other people superficially, I only hurt myself and cannot achieve a thing. 

So many times we only see people at "face" value. 

I wonder if I've given up on teaching others to their faces.

I'd like to move to a type of "faceless" teaching through stories. 

My own story will not have a conclusion, so if I want that satisfaction, I have to tell stories within the timeless story. The satisfaction will only be temporary. 

Never say never. Nevermore. 

 

Edited September 26, 2019 by mandyjw

[mandyjw]

WHEN I READ THE BOOK.
Walt Whitman

WHEN I read the book, the biography famous, 

And is this, then, (said I,) what the author calls a man’s life? 

And so will some one, when I am dead and gone, write my life? 

(As if any man really knew aught of my life; 

Why, even I myself, I often think, know little or nothing of my real life;         5

Only a few hints—a few diffused, faint clues and indirections, 

I seek, for my own use, to trace out here.)

 

[mandyjw]

Tim Ferriss just shared the work of this artist. Very channeled. https://www.instagram.com/danielpopper/

I made an impromptu video. It's shot on Pomroy's platform and when I got home I identified the caterpillar. It's an American Dagger moth caterpillar and it has poisonous spines.  I had an impulse to go back to the little park lately and on the milkweed there were all kinds of monarch caterpillars. Me and my daughter kidnapped a couple. One made a chrysalis on the chair arm in my porch. It really has metallic gold spots. I can't believe how blind I was before to the magic of nature, how busy I was with work to see it. 

 

 

 

[Truth Addict]

That's exactly what I was thinking! You have a unique style of telling stories. It's hard for me to articulate what I want to say the way you do, but you do it so easily and in a poetic way.

It's not just my opinion, many people will say the same thing, and many have said it already! 

❤️

Edited September 28, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Zigzag Idiot]

On 9/27/2019 at 10:08 AM, mandyjw said:

Tim Ferriss just shared the work of this artist. Very channeled. https://www.instagram.com/danielpopper/

I made an impromptu video. It's shot on Pomroy's platform and when I got home I identified the caterpillar. It's an American Dagger moth caterpillar and it has poisonous spines.  I had an impulse to go back to the little park lately and on the milkweed there were all kinds of monarch caterpillars. Me and my daughter kidnapped a couple. One made a chrysalis on the chair arm in my porch. It really has metallic gold spots. I can't believe how blind I was before to the magic of nature, how busy I was with work to see it. 

 

 

 

 

@mandyjw When you said get on the same frequency with nature,,,,,,

"7.83 hertz"  I thought and was struck by the memory a YouTube I became obsessed with about 3 years ago. Even though it's fairly long-  1 1/2 hours. I feel compelled to share it because it expresses elements exactly like you were sharing in your video. I thought anyway,,,,,  Hope I'm not wasting your time. If you get a chance and also for others who might have time and interest. It's mostly an argument for how electromagnetic pollution is messing with us and discusses the benefit of just being outside.  @DrewNows Discusion here gets into the unique cells that are found in the pupils. Some of this might blend with Iridology ? Maybe?

 

 

[DrewNows]

@Zigzag Idiot electromagnetic frequencies that damage cells in the body would show up as areas needing attention when observed in the eyes as with iridology. I’m not sure I have seen this exact documentary but I remember watching one about this, boy aren’t we a dumb species as a whole lmao, oh but don’t worry let’s sweep it under the rug and wait for mankind to become a bit more evolved ?

@mandyjwwas waiting for you to pick up that little guy in the video, kudos if you would have. Ever since my mom told me the story of how she was stung by one as a kid I’d never personally considered ever letting one crawl on me. Zigs right your frequency seems to be shooting through the rough haha, everything’s looking a little bit more colorful ?

Edited September 29, 2019 by DrewNows

[mandyjw]

@Zigzag Idiot Thank you, I "listen" to youtube while I work, so I have plenty of time for videos during the week and really appreciate the suggestion. I'm looking forward to watching it. 

There was a strange progression of visual changes and noticing colors years before the awakening. It reminds me of the book "The Giver" when the main character sees a red apple for the first time. The apple symbolism is pervasive. 

Looking back I see the awakening as a speeding up of the process I've gone through my whole life rather than an event. Of course to confuse understanding even more, time is illusory. 

@DrewNows I was stung by a caterpillar as a kid so I learned that lesson myself. 

[mandyjw]

I tried to articulate my understanding of "my awakening". 

Before I would think that sharing this was a sin, but I don't think anyone cares and if some do, they are meant to. Stories are meant to be told. Confession, I still feel very odd about tsuki and his part in it and if he seemed open to it, I'd love to talk about my understanding of what happened. Do I need to do shadow work over what happened after I did shadow work and how it was done or is that a never ending distraction? 

Yesterday I felt very out of sorts. Eventually I settled on going for a hike by myself. It's an obscure hiking trail and it's connected with the old ghost story of the maiden on the red isle. The first time I hiked it, it was very "trippy". 

Yesterday I found a small animal skull set up on a fallen log. I also found where a blue jay had been killed, beautiful blue feathers all around. At the crossroads are a few old apple trees. There were strange and beautiful mushrooms everywhere. There has never been in my life a summer with more consistent rain and a better apple crop or mushroom season.

When I got out to the end of the trail, I found that the trail continued onto a sort of island connected by the beach that I had never noticed. I'd never walked the whole trail. I walked out to the cliffs. It was windy and sort of gray and the mood of the afternoon was very somber. I found a group of trees that had burned partially from lightning strike. I took a piece of charcoal and drew a lightning bolt and a snake on the tree. Then a crow called and stood over me perched on an a tall tree. He looked and called and then flew two circles around me and flew off. 

[mandyjw]

OHHH! THAT'S the cliff from the story! I knew one of the scenes I wanted to write was when they go out on a cliff to watch the lightning, but there aren't any cliffs in the area I wanted it to take place in and I couldn't picture where it would happen. 

Past, future, fantasy, I don't even know anymore!!! 

[mandyjw]

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

“Who are YOU?” said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, “I–I hardly know, sir, just at present– at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.”

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

[DrewNows]

"myths and info about wild mushrooms"