How to suffer an ego backlash mindfully?

[arlin]

I worked on myself this month but yesterday i hade a backlash, overwhelming sadness came up. I always had sadness within me but along the way i felt better. Yesterday it hit me. 

I always procastinated but this time is different. I just don't give a fuck about the work anymore, even though i know i have to do it and i want to,  in a sense, to create a profound life. And im passionate.

But now i don't know what did hit me, i really just want to go back watching anime and eating chips and masturbate all day.

How can i suffer this backlash mindfully so i can learn from it?

Any suggestion guys? 

thanks  

[OctagonOctopus]

Every moment watch and be, watch your ego struggle to get what it wants as you just be. Go do some self-inquiry ask oneself "Why is it that this part of me want to go back to these habits?", start a conversation with the part of you that wants to return to these habits. Sit with the feelings one is going threw, experience them. 

[arlin]

6 minutes ago, OctagonOctopus said:

Every moment watch and be, watch your ego struggle to get what it wants as you just be. Go do some self-inquiry ask oneself "Why is it that this part of me want to go back to these habits?", start a conversation with the part of you that wants to return to these habits. Sit with the feelings one is going threw, experience them. 

Thanks, i will try! ^^

[Hellspeed]

What a nonesense.

[Pallero]

What's wrong with watching anime, eating chips and masturbating? Sounds fun to me!

Ok, sorry. Hmm.... it's a good question. OctagonOctopus's tip is good. Also, if you like writing, you can journal about the emotions that come up. When you want to go back to escapism, it means that you want to escape from the emotions triggered by the change that you made. So. The only way out of it is through those unpleasant emotions. Acceptance, patience, love. And forward.

Good luck!

[arlin]

1 hour ago, Pallero said:

What's wrong with watching anime, eating chips and masturbating? Sounds fun to me!

Ok, sorry. Hmm.... it's a good question. OctagonOctopus's tip is good. Also, if you like writing, you can journal about the emotions that come up. When you want to go back to escapism, it means that you want to escape from the emotions triggered by the change that you made. So. The only way out of it is through those unpleasant emotions. Acceptance, patience, love. And forward.

Good luck!

Thank you!

[tsuki]

15 hours ago, arlin said:

How can i suffer this backlash mindfully so i can learn from it?

To observe your suffering in non-reactivity is to grow wiser.
Wisdom will not take you anywhere, but anywhere will be here and now.

[Truth Addict]

• Make videos or audio recordings of you talking about your experiences specifically. (or imagine yourself doing that).
• Journaling.
• Change of surroundings => change of mood. (more experience).
• Basically, anything new can be a lesson i.e. posting on here talking about your problem, you probably won't do it anywhere else.

[Zigzag Idiot]

When I'm unbalanced, out of center, and in ego more than being, reactivity is my downfall. Actually, the vocal expression of negative emotions is, which happens through reactivity. It empties me of the force which seems to go hand in hand with inner quiet. If I can manage to observe enough to keep my mouth shut and just allow the emotions to be how they are, this marks a crucial time. It has a cumulative effect when I'm able to do so. A special memory is created that can be added to later. Even if I screw up and make a mess of things the next time. It will have a contrast to the time I managed hold my tongue and therefore slightly improve my chances the next time. 

Once I let go and start bitching, blaming, etc., any kind of finer energy is burned up for the rest of the day and more likely along with this will be the old familiar negative internal dialogue.  Reaching a deep sleep cycle the next night is very important for the body chemistry to get right again. 

The relative ability to observe means so much. I realize this through having a twice daily sitting meditation practice. Essentially, during these two times of the day all of my dispersed attention is gathered back up. Being in possession and control of my own attention is a crucial element for not being reactive.

As a general rule, we have to watch ourselves fail several if not countless times. Being able to watch yourself 'go over the waterfall' is helpful in itself. Observe and see if this phenomena is also true for you. It's something I picked up in a previous self observation group. It helps create the special memory that's cumulative.

• Don't repress. Feel everything.
• Keep mouth shut. Don't speak it into the world.
• If you do lose it, watch yourself go 'over the waterfall'.
• Try to watch and guard against self criticism which only adds fuel to the fire.

[Dan502]

One idea might be to get some metaphysics from the anime.

Find a character you identify with and watch the fall and rise through a challenging situation. Maybe you can even find someone dealing with sadness from the past while working on theirself. Then look for a way to overlay that onto your own situation.

The mindfulness would be finding a way not to get completely sucked into the anime. Even if you just use it to help you embrace present circumstances.

Edited June 11, 2019 by Dan502

[hyruga]

The greatest ego backlash is your own ego telling you that self-actualization and enlightenment are the highest form of consciousness.

[arlin]

On 11/6/2019 at 8:10 PM, Zigzag Idiot said:

As a general rule, we have to watch ourselves fail several if not countless times.

It's true. Since im doing the work, i have never experienced so many ups and downs. It's fkin insane. Well, i guess i can recover quickly but i just wanted to know how to suffer more mindfully. It's useless to suffer if you can't learn the lessons.

Your suggestions are good tho, thanks

On 11/6/2019 at 4:17 PM, Truth Addict said:

Make videos or audio recordings of you talking about your experiences specifically. (or imagine yourself doing that).

Yes, im doing this lately, and i find it very helpful. I can watch myself strugle or smile in victory sometimes and it's strange... but it keeps a reminder as to keep balance in the face of struggle times or even if things seems to go well.

Basically, don't loose the inner balance. This is my problem. I get carried away, in suffering or in joy, too easily.

Then of course i pay for that.

[Natasha]

@arlin Your ego backlash toolkit

 

[Nivsch]

Do the "Do Nothing" method for 15-20 minutes every few hours.

Also apply this method sometimes when you have an intrusive tought/feeling.

Don't confuse 'Do nothing' as the regular meaning you know, with the 'Do nothing' in this video which is the true one. You have to exercise this method with a timer and only than you will be able to apply it in 'free space'. 

Always combine timer + 'free space'  in doing this method.

Applying only one of the above may not be effective enough (in my experience and opinion) because your brain can trick you in many ways and reduce the effectiveness when you do it only with timer or only when there is a tough thought.

Everytime you feel your brain wants to think too strongly or has an urge to do something - hit the brakes!

Wait, drink or eat something, take a deep breathe, and than continue to what you want to do - slowely

This can shorten/soften significantly the ego backlash period.

And also - be with family and friends a lot, especially during ego backlash times.

Edited July 5, 2019 by Nivsch

[The Dopamine Cleric]

On 6/10/2019 at 10:50 AM, arlin said:

I worked on myself this month but yesterday i hade a backlash, overwhelming sadness came up. I always had sadness within me but along the way i felt better. Yesterday it hit me. 

I always procastinated but this time is different. I just don't give a fuck about the work anymore, even though i know i have to do it and i want to,  in a sense, to create a profound life. And im passionate.

But now i don't know what did hit me, i really just want to go back watching anime and eating chips and masturbate all day.

How can i suffer this backlash mindfully so i can learn from it?

Any suggestion guys? 

thanks  

 

 

The fact that you made this post and are trying to be mindful is how you overcome backlash.

If you make your breakthroughs in expanding your awareness, you will naturally less and less want to go back to watching anime and eating chips all day, OR realize that masturbating and eating chips all day isn't really a problem if that's what you like doing and it's not a coping mechanism for dealing with serious issues in your life.

 

 

All of the comments in this thread are right in their own way.

Edited July 6, 2019 by The Dopamine Cleric

[arlin]

17 hours ago, Nivsch said:

Everytime you feel your brain wants to think too strongly or has an urge to do something - hit the brakes!

Well, last time i did this technique, i had voices shouting in my head that i should die and kill myself.

Lasted for few hours, i was very worried. I neved did the do nothing thing again. ahahah 

14 hours ago, The Dopamine Cleric said:

If you make your breakthroughs in expanding your awareness, you will naturally less and less want to go back to watching anime and eating chips all day,

I have experieced this for a short time. It's very interesting, thank you.