Why do I break down in tears every time someone describes mental disorders?

[Kaity]

Throughout my childhood and for the past 2 years I've been having recurring panic and anxiety attacks here and there. I've become in peace with them and can't say that they bother me too much. However, every time I read/hear about someone describing the symptoms of panic, anxiety, trauma, it resonates with me so much that I break down in tears.

It's hard to approach this objectively so maybe you guys can help me figure out what this could mean. I can't say that these crying episodes are negative. It's more like a mix of anger, self-pity, and joy of feeling "understood," all at the same time. Could there be a message I'm missing out on? 

[iTommy]

7 hours ago, Kaity said:

However, every time I read/hear about someone describing the symptoms of panic, anxiety, trauma, it resonates with me so much that I break down in tears.

I can't say that these crying episodes are negative. It's more like a mix of anger, self-pity, and joy of feeling "understood," all at the same time. 

I think you may have hit the nail already on the head. You seem to indentify with the things that you listed, and hearing about it from someone else triggers memories and thoughts about your own struggles with them, seeing that others go through similar things you did/are. Suffering often creates a connection between people that are both suffering, especially from similar things. It feels as if one isn't alone in this (even though logically most people know they aren't the only ones), and there's someone who can understand to some degree. Also, if one of those people suffering isn't suffering from that particular illness/disorder anymore or less than before, then it can be sad to see the other people still going through it. There seems to be quite the mental and emotional attachment to memory and identification with it. 

 

[Pallero]

On 8.6.2019 at 2:54 AM, Kaity said:

It's more like a mix of anger, self-pity, and joy of feeling "understood," all at the same time. Could there be a message I'm missing out on?

I think that's it. A part of you feels angry (why are you angry?), another part is self-pitying (are you ashamed?), and the last one feels relieved.

[Flatworld Crusades]

@Kaity have you thought of the possibilities that you are empathic?