Suffering at work

[nistake]

Okay, so here's the thing. I often experience suffering at work. This suffering mostly involves frustration, impatience and the typical uncomfortable feeling of "I-need-to-get-out-of-here". I've been trying to find the root cause but I just can't seem to find it.

Here's a little background info about me:

I work for a water treatment company and I'm a technical assistant/aspiring engineer. This is an office job and I'm in the engineering department. I make 3D models based on a 2D drawing, make technical drawings and occasionally I need to translate technical documents to English. I know this does not sound like a superexciting job but I kinda like it. I never studied engineering in school, but a while ago I thought it would be a good idea to try out myself in this engineering field, so I asked my boss and he was supportive about this idea, so since then I've been working as an aspiring engineer.

I like to be creative, I like working with the 3D software and in the process I'm learning a ton of new stuff which is always good.

My boss is a great guy, he's willing to explain new things to me, he's always been helpful and supportive. All of my direct colleagues are guys but it's no problem. The atmosphere is usually good in the office, we often make jokes, tease each other and whenever I have some problem, there's always somebody that I can turn to.

Okay, this is sounds good and all, but the problem is what I mentioned above. There are frequent times when I experience suffering like out of nowhere and it really distracts me from actually working and it often ruins my well-being at work.

I've been meditating and dealing with self-improvement for ~3 years. I meditate every day, I read books all the time, I've tried self-inquiry (altough I stopped doing it because I realized I needed to deal with more basic self-development things first). I regularly exercise and I do hatha yoga once a week. I've got some friends so I have a company to hang out with at weekends. I also have hobbies (making music, playing bass, skateboarding, make bicycle trips with my friends, etc). There's one thing that I don't have at the moment which is a girlfriend. I've never had a one but I'm not that desperate to find one either. Tho I realised that after all I'm a guy and I need to experience what it's like to be with a girl emotionally and physically as well. The thing is I always thought that I was too shy to actually approach a girl, low self-esteem/self-confidence, you know, just the usual... I do know that these are serious matters and I've been working on these for a while now and I think I made some good progress. I still think that these are not the main reasons why I suffer at work. 

It's important to notice that I mainly experience this kind of suffering only when I'm at work. When I go home or do something in my freetime, usually this kind of suffering disappears. Of course I'm not saying that I suffer all the time, I do have some great days in the office when I feel like I'm on a roll. Still, I want to solve this problem. Also, when the suffering occurs I always try to be present and not giving in to the anxiety. It's really difficult sometimes, but a few mindful pauses sometimes help. Anyway, I still think that there's something deep and I'd like to find the reason.

What should I do? Should I contemplate on this deeply? Should I just continue doing self-development/spirituality and hope that one day this suffering decreases somehow?

Tl;dr: I regularly suffer at work even though I have a great boss, great colleagues and I like what I do. I want to find a reason and I'd like to solve it once and for all.

[Dan502]

It's really interesting that you're not sure what's causing the suffering.

Are you eating enough and the right kind of foods while you're at work?

Is the temperature in the office and ventilation consistent?

Are there any circumstances at all that are different when you have bad days? Does it happen at a certain time of day?

The amygdala is the part of the brain that's associative but not in a logical way so one possibility is that something seemingly normal and unknown is triggering this however sometimes with a bit of detective work, it can be solved.

And then there's my initial reaction, which was to write "You're suffering at work and you think that's unusual? Dude, have you never worked before? :)" I'm just kidding with this last point although you never know.

Edited June 7, 2019 by Dan502

[LastThursday]

Why not go detective and keep a simple diary of when and where the negative feelings occur?

Just keep it to a bare minium: time, date, location, what the feeling was.

Maybe some sort of note taking phone app would be useful. Do it for several weeks, maybe a month. Then see what turns up?

Edited June 9, 2019 by LastThursday