12 Days In Ecuador: Ayahuasca Retreat

[Zega]

So I made a post about two months ago saying I was going to Ecuador to do ayahuasca. This is what happened...

 

Before I even left the states, two days prior I had a kidney stone. I've been working to break them down and they just started acting up for the first time in about 6 months; I hadn't had them before. So after taking all the necessary steps including an ayahuasca diet, I hopped on the plane and had to pee every hour. I have never been out of the states before and while I was meditating on the plane, I began to get emotional and even started crying a bit. I checked where we were on the gps and we had just left US air space. I feel like I was already connecting to the medicine. The trip down there was good until I landed in Quito. Once we landed I was feeling a bit dehydrated since it's hard to get a good amount of water on a plane, and we had to sit on the runway for what felt like an hour before we could taxi to our gate. I say it felt like an hour because my kidney was acting up and I was in pain; I wasn't keeping track. Once I got out of the plane, before I could even get to security, I couldn't walk. I was trying to ask for some kind of pain killer, but they really don't have much as far as that goes; they didn't even know what Motrin was. Luckily I had a 5 hour layover so I had time to get a double IV in an Ecuadorian airport. Long story short I made it to the retreat just fine.

 

*The medicine*

I brought a small journal to write down my experience. I won't go into deep detail since the shamans say the more you talk about it the less effective it is. Food for thought with future trips as well. I will share some things I wrote down though. The first ceremony was so profound. The shamans were amazing, one was a musician with a beautiful voice. We start by praying with tobacco and setting our intentions. Once the medicine was passed around the shamans began playing their Icaros. The taste of ayahuasca is like tart berries and a little earthy; I liked it.

I had visuals as soon as the second Icaro started similar to what you would see on DMT. It was so beautiful and as it was happening I was going on an emotional roller coaster ride. I felt like I was in the presence of an elder that I had known for a long time but never got to meet in person. To me, this visual part was an introduction to healing: beauty and pain. While this was happening I could hear people throwing up (purging) around me, which just added to the message. This was different from any other trip I have had. This is more like connecting to a person- a spirit. We got along quite well. It's like I understood her. I know that sounds weird but it really is connecting to a spirit, having brief conversations, and being taken to places.

I actually annoyed her at one point. I was over analyzing the things she was doing and eventually she stopped. It was like being totally sober for a few seconds, which was all I needed before saying, "Oh" and releasing control. This was powerful in that I realized this was something I've always done. A powerful tool, but one that frequently got out of hand unknowingly until then. Immediately after I realized what I was doing she resumed. It was like having someone rub your back, stop for a few seconds, and then resuming...not literally of course.

Visions are different from visuals. Visuals are pretty and can be powerful, but visions take you somewhere: childhood, an operating table, the jungle, etc. After this first ceremony I asked her not to give me visuals again unless I needed them. I didn't. The real healing takes place unknowingly. Days after, the medicine stays with you doing its thing. They say it stays with you for life in a metaphysical way. The visions were pretty intense. I didn't purge until long after everyone else. I came to the conclusion (after talking to staff and the shamans) that Aya likes to stay with me longer than most people. A lot of people were full of energy and eating ceremonial fruit after the first ceremony. I could barley move let alone eat. I slept in the Maloka that night with several others.

 

Journal entry after the first ceremony-

"Purpose and wellness

I don't even know where to begin. I feel like I've known mother Aya for years. She is love, wellness, and ultimate wisdom. I understand her. She guides but does not lead. One must dance with mother Aya to understand her. She is love, compassion, and strength. Sometimes she will give the answer, but one must learn to find the answer himself. She is powerful. Respect comes first. Love, gratitude, and understanding build upon a foundation of bravery. She says my purpose is to follow the Eagle and Condor (referring to the Eagle Condor prophecy) and wants me to live in Ecuador. I haven't decided if or when. I have thought about becoming a shaman in the past, but after last night I think this is my purpose. It combines my passions into one thing. Christine (the founder/shaman) said I would make a good one. I must heal before I may heal others. The road ahead will be a long one and difficult, as is the nature of healing. Healing is bravery itself; looking inward and wanting to make a deep change. I have much work ahead."

 

Aya told me this first encounter was mostly identifying things and out next ceremony together would be the intense one. She was right.

 

*San Pedro (Cactus of the Four Winds, Huachuma, Saint Peter’s Cactus)*

Ayahuasca is likened to the presence of a grandmother where as San Pedro is compared to a grandfather. This ceremony was first thing in the morning, no food prior, just cactus juice. It didn't taste bad, again I liked it but not as much as ayahuasca, same goes for the overall experience. So this was kind of like LSD in some ways, visually speaking, if a fly whizzed by your head you could see a trail of it for a few seconds. It is stimulating and you get the urge to walk around. It opens you up on an emotional level so you can actualize your experience from the ayahuasca. The shaman would, one by one, have people going on to a rug sitting across from him with the sacred fire in between. I had some father issues come up; I realized I was upset with him for choosing to die from cancer after fighting it so hard. While it was my turn on the rug (which was a cougar pelt) the rain came down so hard he had to walk over to me to talk. The rain made our conversation private from everyone else, quite the experience. There were 4 tobacco sessions in the San Pedro ceremony total. It took the whole day and well into the night.

 

After this ceremony the kidney pain came back.

 

Water carries intentions so the water given to us was ceremonial. I talked to the shaman about this for the future, but that night I had to nurse a pain in the side. One of the volunteers made me a hot pack, and after a lot of water, aspirin, and walking it off, I fell asleep, finally, with that hot pack on my side.

Did I mention that the people working here are amazing? So open, loving, and caring. Made a lot of friends there =]

 

*The sweat lodge*

This ceremony was my favorite and combined both medicines. It was two watered down doses of San Pedro and one dose of ayahuasca. Everyone enters the brick sweat lodge in their swim wear, enters and exits a certain way. The ceremony was representative of death and rebirth. The sweat lodge was shaped like a womb and at the end of the ceremony you are soaking wet and get wrapped in a blanket like a newborn. After you are 'born' there is a big meal and bonfire.

I've never done a wet sauna and this was intense. Once the tobacco went around and the hot stones (glowing hot) were added, the doors (blankets) shut and the whole room went dark. The shamans would sing their icaros and douse the rocks with wet cedar. You start sweating intensely immediately. The power round was the 3rd round of this, after the San Pedro, and ayahuasca was given. I had no visions; it was pitch black. After this round I experienced true gratitude. I remember being on the floor, head to the mat, hands clasped together over my head saying "Thank you...thank you" until English got hard and "Gracias...gracias" became easier. ceremonial food was passed around after and then we moved on to the last round, which was much easier...for me anyway. Coming out into the cold, starlit, Ecuadorian night was truly a re-birthing experience. Newfound gratitude and love in my heart, I had a beautiful night with the rest of the guests. The healing that took place here was amazing. I saw transformations happen that were so profound it was like talking to all new people.

The kidney pain stopped after that night. It would return once more after the next San Pedro ceremony and after that nothing up to the present.

 

*The second ayahuasca ceremony*

From my journal,

"Last night was as intense as Aya had promised. Everyone was under a heavy healing energy that kicked our asses. I purged late like last time near the end of the ceremony. I ate fruit after the ceremony and walked back to the dorm. A final wave hit me alone and sent me on my most intense experience. I saw visions of family history heart disease and cancer risks. I'm going to do a heavy detox back home and really watch my health."

After this ceremony I ate a bit and went back to my dorm. There were only a few people there so it worked out well that after I went to bed I had a huge wave hit me unexpectedly. I feel like that happened on purpose. I began to see heavy visions and realized that I had food in my stomach. Not good. She explained to me that in order for her to do work, I have to get my digestive system to stop doing its thing. I asked for the strength to crawl out of bed and out the door.

How much you eat is NOT relative to how much you purge. I threw up so much and unlike any other time in my life. It felt like there was such an unimpeded path from stomach to mouth. After that I had to throw up out the other end.... Once that was all done and I was empty, the real healing began. I was taken onto an operating table, shown xrays of myself that don't exist in any kind of dimension we know, and was a little scared at first. I didn't fight though, I made it through without problems. That was so profound that I opted out of the optional extra ceremony. I knew deep down that I didn't need it.

 

*Walk of Power*

The last San Pedro ceremony was done with a short hike and the founder leading us. This was the walk of power and it was a beautiful day/night. Once again we ended late at night and went over deep issues that came up. I talked about my health and the shaman assured me that she could see in more ways than one that I was healthy. She recommended I fast if I want to detox. I'm currently one day into a water fast, my first fast ever.

That night I had to drink a ton of water before I went to bed because the kidney pain was now hurting me when I peed. I think that meant that it was finally passing. Regardless I have not had an issue since.

I know this isn't quite like a typical trip report, and that's because ayahuasca and San Pedro are a ceremony and not just a trip. They are also difficult to explain but I recommend everyone try the medicine at some point in their life.

 

*The integration process*

"You are the medicine" is what the shamans told us. One has to be strong to not let slip away all that was gained in these ceremonies. Once I was in El Salvador flying home, I could already feel a huge shift in energy. It's hard coming back to the states after something like that. One thing Christine said was that it is easy to be zen on a mountain top, but the real work is going back into society. So true. I've been dealing with backsliding, ego, and feelings of isolation since I left. This fast I am on has been helping so far, I already feel less of an attachment to my vices and gaining mental clarity. I am planning on going back to do work exchange there next year but I have a lot of personal work to do until then. I have a purpose visualized and a lot of self searching to do. I have been back for about a month or so now trying to put all this down in words so I appreciate you reading this if you made it this far

I cant recommend Gaia Sagrada enough to anyone interested in doing this. My experience was probably more painful than most so don't let my kidney stuff scare you away.

Edited June 7, 2019 by Zega

[Leo Gura]

Awesome report! Thanks for sharing.

Makes me wanna try it if I wasn't so in love with 5-MeO-DMT 

[Sempiternity]

@Leo Gura 

of course the two aren't mutually exclusive. Vaginal sex is amazing, but blowjobs are good too  

I think you'd dig Ayahuasca. It's really beautiful.

If, and when, you do, I'd love to hear one of your deep analytical takes on it. 

Edited June 7, 2019 by Jed Vassallo

[Leo Gura]

@Jed Vassallo As good as Aya might be, rectal 5-MeO-DMT is a thousand times better. It's just impossibly good. Nothing more is needed. It is total consciousness. Nothing else is in the same league. You will become totally omniscient if you do it enough times. Totally omniscient! There will not be a single question left unanswered. You will understand how you created the entire universe.

[herghly]

@Leo Gura I've found high doses of mushrooms similar to 5 MEO

[ahmad ibdah]

37 minutes ago, herghly said:

@Leo Gura I've found high doses of mushrooms similar to 5 MEO

How much is the dose specifically? 

[Zega]

@Leo Gura 

Thank you, Leo. Someday I hope to have a good comparison of the two. I hope you do as well; it's worth the experience.

[Girzo]

11 hours ago, herghly said:

I've found high doses of mushrooms similar to 5 MEO

I can confirm that high doses of 4-HO-MiPT (a substance close in structure to psilocin found in magic mushrooms) create a similar experience.

You would expect it to get crazy visual because it's mushrooms, but no. All the effects get silent during the peak and a break-through happens. And don't get me wrong the crazy hypnotizing psychedelia is there for the most of the time, but there are moments when it disappears, which is interesting in my opinion. It's like a typical mushroom trip intertwined with 5-MeO experience. 

Edited June 8, 2019 by Girzo

[herghly]

@ahmad ibdah 8 grams+