Being loving vs being needy

[F A B]

Whenever I see a girl I used to date in the past, I always have this fight going on inside me:

Should I go greet her or not?

Pros: Yes, because I want to be a loving person. I want to demonstrate that I have no grudge against her. 

Cons: No, she rejected me. I'm fine without her, and I don't want to look needy.

 

[DrewNows]

Good good ?

you want to say hi but you are afraid. Should you embrace fear and say hi or listen to the fear and avoid the interaction...

stop overthinking and do whatever you want to do and then learn ?

[Shin]

The fact that you refuse to greet her because it's over is neediness.

[CuteCornDog]

15 hours ago, Shin said:

The fact that you refuse to greet her because it's over is neediness.

I agree with this. I don't see a like button on this forum like I do other forums.

I'm about to try my best to have a civil relationship with someone I used to care for deeply next time I see him.

Edited June 7, 2019 by CuteCornDog

[Nahm]

On 6/5/2019 at 6:45 PM, F A B said:

Whenever I see a girl I used to date in the past, I always have this fight going on inside me:

Should I go greet her or not?

Pros: Yes, because I want to be a loving person. I want to demonstrate that I have no grudge against her. 

Cons: No, she rejected me. I'm fine without her, and I don't want to look needy.

 

You’re thinking about what she’s thinking, conceptual third person living. You don’t know what she’s thinking. This is like sitting in the front row of a movie theater, and watching the movie through your assumptions of the opinion of the person behind you. Meanwhile, you have a front row seat to this experience. 

[bejapuskas]

What do you want to achieve in life, joy or suffering? Try something and see what happens. I assume that you aren't satisfied with your emotions, that's why you are asking - it might be beneficial to try a different approach. I had this similar problem for a long long time myself, even now sometimes... But I guess you are just making it grow even bigger by thinking.