Toxic relationship?

[KenDo]

Hey guys, so I've been in a relationship with a girl for half a year now. Unfortunately we have a lot of fights and arguments. Recently we are just fighting constantly. We broke up once because of this but got back together. I am into self development, she says she is too but I don't think she is. She isn't open to learning new things as much as I am. I am not saying she doesn't like self development, just that she doesn't really care to improve herself because in her eyes there is nothing to improve for her. I don't agree because I have a growth mindset and am always trying to improve myself. She is constantly upset about something I do and usually its the smallest things. I think she expects me to be perfect.. I don't know what I should do, I am thinking of breaking up with her again.

Please tell me what you think..

[DrewNows]

Stop focusing on her and work on yourself. Let her do her thing and stop expecting things out of her. Listen and share what you want about yourself but let go of expectations 

forget thinking about whatever she thinks. This is your biggest sign to learn about yourself, good luck 

[flowboy]

Is it possible that the perfectionistic, critical, non-accepting energy that lives in you, and drives you forward in your self-development, is the same energy that is reflected by your partner when she criticizes you?

She feels that you don't accept yourself, and she's mirroring that back to you.

She can only feel safe and be accepting of you if you are.

So if this feels true to you, I'd say focus on self-love and self acceptance practices for a while, even though that will feel very unnatural to you, and see what it does to your relationship.

[noselfnofun]

You do know what to do start believing in yourself and your decisions, if your in a toxic relationship you need to address it asap, if you really love the person and feel it can be worked through stay with her but if its just turned petty and dysfunctional  and your clearly holding each other back you both need to go your septate ways, simple. Don't over complicate this and don't let fear hold you back.

Edited June 6, 2019 by noselfnofun

[KenDo]

thanks guy, just broke up with her. gonna take some time now to take care of myself!