Being rejected by your enviroment.

[zeroISinfinity]

8 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@zeroISinfinity Unwrap the end, the getting back home, the home, the time...unwrap the reward, it is the present. ♥️

 

Yeah timeless limitless now. God idea of @Nahm life Will end. God idea of "my" life Will end. We will all merge "back" as One. That One will live all "future" apparent lives inside One as One. So none of lives has any real importance in full picture. Because life itself is Just an appearance.

@Nahm has ability to remove veil and discover Truth. But most of his appearent kind do not Wish to do it. 

[DrewNows]

Keeping personal convictions for the sake of the whole? @zeroISinfinity

We are but an appearance, I know but I’m seeing if there’s something I’m missing.

Maybe exchanging with humans is a lot of bullshit for them but is there not an appreciation of it all for you? 

 

[zeroISinfinity]

@DrewNows Keeping the mask on. Have no desire to do so but do not have desire to take of masks of "others".They are Perfect as they are. I do not Wish to create suffering for anyone so I do not really Feel my mask is needed at all. 

It Just doesn't matter.

You can be Happy all the time with "mundaine" stuff. Washing dishes or chasing that hot asian hippie girl and Creating suffering for both of you. 

[DrewNows]

@zeroISinfinity yes there was never really a mask in the first place!

So it’s simply allowing the layers of conditioning to be purified 

[zeroISinfinity]

Just now, DrewNows said:

@zeroISinfinity yes there was never really a mask in the first place!

So it’s simply allowing the layers of conditioning to be purified 

?❤️

Life as True Self and life as false self are much different. 

It is impossible to lie cheat deceive kill (only when you have to eat and even then you Will slaughter animal in most effective way). Seeking physical and emotional pleasure, neediness, approval etc. You are free from all needs because you realize there is nothing to gain or lose etc. 

Yeah pretty much Saint. 

Good luck to all people chasing enlightenment for personal gain ?

[Nahm]

@zeroISinfinity

A dream is not a life, it is a dream, and it has no discernible beginning nor ending. The conceptualization of a dream however, arises, and also ceases. There is as much need to mourn the ceasing of a concept, as the passing of a life. 

An arising thought of past, future, or self...is false. It is useful only in creating, as it applies to the ‘life’, the dream. You could say this is ‘returning’ to actuality, to direct experience, to that which was being conceptualized, or, Being, conceptualized. For you, I will not amount to more than an appearance which comes and goes. There is not a me nor abilities, there is an apparent limitation of you, which comes & goes. The worthwhile question is of my usefulness in your creation.

 

[zeroISinfinity]

@Nahm What really confuses me. Is that I am actually those people talking to "me". "Me" is complete lie.  "I" never existed it was always illusory. 

Doesn't matter how Being gets manifested since there is no self in it. Nobody to suffer nobody to enjoy. We do not exist only God does. 

[Nahm]

@zeroISinfinity A thinker of the thoughts is no liver of lives. All is well, there is need to worry. You are all that is. Celebrate the recognition of yourself, re-joy-ce in it! Who crafted what arrow shot from who’s quiver - I Don’t Know did!

Question the chicken and the egg long enough, and you won’t get the yoke.

[zeroISinfinity]

@Nahm Ok I am all that is but I do not want to be it. Having such hard time accepting this because Awareness created horror story for imagined self. 

There is deep distrust in it coming from mind. 

Here is what problem I have with other egos. 

Started renovating house(cool lets create) so I called in brother to help me with this. Now he moved in because my place is better then his without even asking me. He doesn't have any money even if he earns twice as much I do. Because he gambles it away first day he receives it. So basiclly I got New parasite. This is Just one, most recent example. 

Want harsh one. Mother beating shit out of you. Lashing you with electronic cables with full intensity if you didn't got highest grade. 

I know devils Very well and I do not have any desire to shine light of awareness on them ever again. Want rest and to be alone. Learned my lesson. Payed price for desiring to be human and not what I am really. Formlesness /Nothing that is what I am really. Everything else is sharade. 

 

Edited June 7, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[Nahm]

@zeroISinfinity What do you feel needs to be done for you to heal and move on? 

[Jkris]

@zeroISinfinity Even to eat othet vegetarean options are available.So why kill a fellow living being.

[Nahm]

On 6/5/2019 at 8:25 AM, Robi Steel said:

There is nothing in other people that I cant find in myself. 

Hmmm. 

[zeroISinfinity]

51 minutes ago, Jkris said:

@zeroISinfinity Even to eat othet vegetarean options are available.So why kill a fellow living being.

You can't avoid it. Every animal in nature kills highly effectively causing least suffering. Killed animal Will indeed feel sensations of killing but if Consciousness realizes death of the body will come for sure it will revert back to Formlesness. 

Humans should done the same but we kill for egoic pleasure too. We torture rape and do all kinds of harm Just to get that dopamine hit. We abuse everything. 

I can't become vegan because I do hard manual labour for small wage. 

[Jkris]

@zeroISinfinity I cannot kill a living being  i just close my eyes and run away when I see a butcher shop.

 

[zeroISinfinity]

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

@zeroISinfinity What do you feel needs to be done for you to heal and move on? 

Nobody to heal and no one to move on. It is about heart it is full of scars and I Feel every one of them. Meditations works wonders but I have to go to work and talk with "others". I do not feel any Joy in These activities. Ok job is fine for body awareness nothing against that. 

Dream Will end. I already know how easily I Will surrender idea of "me". So in the end it doesn't matter Will "I"  heal. 

Victims of narcissistic abuse never fully heal. I know that because Very much I am expert in narcissism and psychopathy. 

Edited June 7, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[Nahm]

@zeroISinfinity Cool. ????

[Nahm]

One rejected by their environment has assigned a false persona to environment. Surely it is alive and loving. Surely you are it. A dance is not a dance prior to the arrival of the dancers who bring the dance.

[zeroISinfinity]

@Nahm Yeah you are right. 

It is a play. But kinda you want to clear stage from dancers. Had it enough. All I have to do is wait for this idea to end. God saw it how is to be Alex. Got another part of him. He Will Explore other ideas. 

[Nahm]

@zeroISinfinity You are becoming quite the wise ol stage.

[zeroISinfinity]

@Nahm No I mean this point of Awareness is not interested in exploring anymore. Probe as Leo calls it wants home. 

Here I have sense of self, "there" there is none. No need to continue as "me". Even no need to continue as Awareness.