Being rejected by your enviroment.

[Robi Steel]

I really feel like, the more conscious I become in my conversations and with other people, the more they are gonna feel like something is seriously wrong with me.
People want to hear the truth when they like it, not when they actually need it. People want comfort and security, without making sacrifices.  
 

Im not talking about enlightenment here or the spiritual path or that they have to give up their ego.

But, just simply, being honest with oneself and others EVEN if it hurts. Simply, creating more love in your life, being able to receive and being open towards something new EVEN if its unknown. Simply, for once, overthink when you judge someone. ACTUALLY think about if it is an intelligent move to throw someone under the bus, just because they seem like a fool to you. 

The more awake I become, the more I see the piles and wreckage people have been burying their life under. Mountains of arrogance and self-deception, running a spear through your own head and calling it life and normal, it all comes crashing down with everything I see other people do. 

"Hes out of his mind" ,"Hes insane", "Hes lost it" He is evil" ,"Just not that smart" ,"out of touch", "dangerous" ,"overly confident" ,"dirty" ,"a fool", "i hope someone kicks him one day"
 

When you are empty yourself, every conversation you have with someone, its just a clear reflection of themselves to themselves. They will list of all their deceptions to you,  one by one. They will work themselves up over you and be put on the edge of breaking, just because you didnt buy into their fantasy. If it just takes one whiff of clarity to make you question your miserable life, maybe that tells you something about yourself. 

I guess this is venting. As Leo said, the tragedy of it hits you and you cant look away. You want to let all that love burst out and reach your friends and everyone you meet. You want to call out the message of ultimate relieve for them. You can feel their pain, every step of the way.  But boy are you fooled to believe that your love is appreciated in any way. Get ready to have all of your openness and heart used against you in the most disgusting way, in the most appalling way. 

Just for the record. I love you, earnest and honest. Without a doubt, youre beautiful part of creation. Whoever it is Im seeing in the everyday world. 

Youre also utterly, utterly, utterly, utterly, utterly plain stupid. The deeper I dig into you, the deeper your shallowness shows. The deeper it shows, just how little you care about yourself, how little you care about others, how few thoughts go into your own being, how much you are wasting EVERYTHING. You are boring. You are disgusting. You are hurting. You are stubborn. You are ignorant. You are your own greatest enemy. And yes, I am your greatest enemy. I will never stop giving light to your devilry. I will always show it to you. 
Because I love you. All your quailities, I cant get enough of them. I love them all, thats what makes this exciting. I would die for you, so that you can see real love in your life. Just for once.

When you put the most pressure on me, thats when im gonna bend least. 

 

Edited June 5, 2019 by Robi Steel

[Knock]

26 minutes ago, Robi Steel said:

Youre also utterly, utterly, utterly, utterly, utterly plain stupid. The deeper I dig into you, the deeper your shallowness shows. The deeper it shows, just how little you care about yourself, how little you care about others, how few thoughts go into your own being, how much you are wasting EVERYTHING. You are boring. You are disgusting. You are hurting. You are stubborn. You are ignorant. You are your own greatest enemy. And yes, I am your greatest enemy. I will never stop giving light to your devilry. I will always show it to you. 
Because I love you. All your quailities, I cant get enough of them. I love them all, thats what makes this exciting. I would die for you, so that you can see real love in your life. Just for once.

Are you talking to your shadow?

I'm confused at who this is addressed at.

[ColdFacts]

I personally loved the fact that that they saw everything as wrong or weakness from me, this allowed me to act right and no one would know it. Such a noble path or as you will notice is death to the ego and liberation at the same time.

[Anton_Pierre]

@Robi Steel I know what you're saying but you just want to lead by example until people just naturally come to you for advice. If people want to talk about small things just explain to them your not interested in that sort of stuff and not judge people in any stage of development as that further halts your progress.

Edited June 5, 2019 by Anton_Pierre

[Robi Steel]

@Shiva Yes youre right.
 

Im not lecturing anyone and I shouldnt. This truth can never be pushed onto anyone ever, I know. I usually just focus on retaining my own awareness during conversations and giving the most truthful answers when people come up to me.

The vision for my life is to become a master communicator. And I know that communicating the truth is one of the most counter-intuitive things. Im inspired by all the masters of the past who have actually awakened significant amounts of people.

Im only 19, I know my own foolishness too well. There is no real grind in my words yet. My gravitas is just starting to develop as a man.

There is nothing in other people that I cant find in myself. 

You have bad days sometimes with the folks, I just needed an outlet. I felt caged. I dont want to undermine all the deep and loving moments I had with people due to this truth.

 

[zeroISinfinity]

Well higher consciousness higher wisdom.

Personally I have no desire to talk with people irl. I do if I need to, but have no desire to. Honestly I am not really interested what their ego has to say. It is always same, something that decreases or increases their perceived self serving agenda. 

 

[Gili Trawangan]

@zeroISinfinity Do you feel no need at all for what people usually refer to as "human connection"?

I'm genuinely interested, seeing that I also seem to have no interest in talking with people, but am still conflicted about it. Like I should want to. 

[Robi Steel]

@Gili Trawangan I definitely can go several weeks without human interaction, I dont feel like there is anything that Im missing or anything that I have to say to them.

But connecting with other people spontaneously, always being open for a conversation, connecting with people from all places and kinds, building immense trust and flow with a person or group is a beauty of its own

[zeroISinfinity]

@Gili Trawangan No, not really. If you ask me I have nothing against to spend my life in prison or monastery. 

None of them love you or give 2 cents about you, what they are only interested is how you can serve their agenda. 

Egoic substitute for Love is power. That is all human interaction are about. 

More power your ego aquires more you Will be "loved". 

Do you really want to dance with devils and suffer. 

 

 

Edited June 5, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[Gili Trawangan]

@Robi Steel Yeah that makes sense to me.

@zeroISinfinity I don't know, I need to ponder on what you wrote; it sounds bleak, that's my first reaction...

[DrewNows]

50 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

Well higher consciousness higher wisdom.

Personally I have no desire to talk with people irl. I do if I need to, but have no desire to. Honestly I am not really interested what their ego has to say. It is always same, something that decreases or increases their perceived self serving agenda. 

 

Be aware of your own mind at work here. Recently realized I was finding comfort in my own shadow and this possible disconnect was a subtle sign 

[Nahm]

Be meek enough not to create burden, but strong enough to help lift them. Were you not in Love with your delusion, you’d be doing something else entirely. I for one am happy with what you’re doing. It is good to be your delusion. It is good for you to be mine. Like magic, a child blowing bubbles, this is possible. 

[zeroISinfinity]

54 minutes ago, DrewNows said:

Be aware of your own mind at work here. Recently realized I was finding comfort in my own shadow and this possible disconnect was a subtle sign 

Sorry. Sounds bleak I know. 

I do not deny anyone anything. I am acting  perfectly fine. 

Reality is perfect as it is. No need for "me" in it. If my ego is really needed Reality Will call for it. I Just do not Wish to manipulate lie deceive or to end in such situations. My life is Just an idea it doesn't matter at all. 

Yeah indeed sounds bleak but in actuality it isn't. ❤️

[DrewNows]

@zeroISinfinity as long as there isn’t the denying of experience ?

[zeroISinfinity]

@DrewNows Thanks. Well what I really want to say is that it is much better to walk in nature, drive a bike go to gym eat healthy etc. Compared to building your fantasy identity getting involved in all kinds of drama manipulations coys. Talking about who bought New car, what girl is whoring around etc, monkey bullshit. 

You improve quality of your life not diminish it. That was what I meant to say. Human society and humans in general are not more worthy then all other creations. 

?❤️

@Nahm

Source lives as all, everything. All equal. In the end, Life doesn't matter at all. Because no matter how much Source fantasies it will always get back home to nothigness. 

Some "versions" of the Source are really not into fantasies. But that, not into fantasy is just another fantasy. So what is left is to surrender to what is until time comes for "reward". 

Edited June 5, 2019 by zeroISinfinity

[DrewNows]

29 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

@DrewNows Thanks. Well what I really want to say is that it is much better to walk in nature, drive a bike go to gym eat healthy etc. Compared to building your fantasy identity getting involved in all kinds of drama manipulations coys. Talking about who bought New car, what girl is whoring around etc, monkey bullshit. 

You improve quality of your life not diminish it. That was what I meant to say. Human society and humans in general are not more worthy then all other creations. 

?❤️

It’s all ego -all values, improvements and relationships. There’s no avoiding the illusion that is YOU! 

Both healthy and unhealthy illusion can build the false sense of self but neither necessarily have to ?

[zeroISinfinity]

1 minute ago, DrewNows said:

It’s all ego -all values, improvements and relationships. There’s no avoiding the illusion that is YOU! 

Both healthy and unhealthy illusion can build the false sense of self but neither necessarily have to ?

Yes I know that. I really do. That is why I talk about surrender and acceptance. Problem is that "me" inside people expect to be there is just isn't there. I have to fabricate it. I have to lie and I do not want that. 

[DrewNows]

33 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

Yes I know that. I really do. That is why I talk about surrender and acceptance. Problem is that "me" inside people expect to be there is just isn't there. I have to fabricate it. I have to lie and I do not want that. 

Are you speaking for the importance of keeping personal truths (relatively) despite who you may be interacting with? 

[Nahm]

@zeroISinfinity Unwrap the end, the getting back home, the home, the time...unwrap the reward, it is the present. ♥️

 

[zeroISinfinity]

Well I am talking about entire self construct. Society and humans expect you to hold on such fabrication. 

Personally I do not remember when last time I tried to defend self image.When you see falsity of your own why would you buy into falsity of all others. To live and thrive inside society you have to keep firm hold onto it. 

Talking with other human is like mutually exchanging bullshit. Full of lies deceptions projections etc.