Insights into cause of emotional problems following meditation

[Surfingthewave]

Wasn't sure whether to post this under meditation/consciousness or here. 

I've had some real insights recently into long term verbal abuse I suffered as a child, from a sibling. This has come up recently following lots of meditation practice and deep inner work. 

I kept getting stuck on ego backlashes and deep rooted behaviours such as avoidance, excessive spending, self sabotage and "giving up" when things were going well. 

Now this all makes sense, my ongoing difficulties with low self esteem, limited self beliefs, why I question myself all the time and in the past why I have suffered anxiety, insomnia, and depression. 

I have talked to my sibling about this years ago when I was going through some real anger issues but we just put it down to sibling rivalry and bullying. I have had counselling before but for something else. 

Anyway my question is, what next? Now I've realised the root cause is it about letting go and carrying on with the work? 

Edited June 5, 2019 by Surfingthewave

[ajasatya]

@Surfingthewave Don't stop meditating. Take your meditation with you 24/7.

[Nahm]

If you let something go, it is gone. Nothing more could be done. 

If more can be done, it hasn’t been let go.

Letting the perspective go, emotions follow it on out. 

Willingness is letting it go. 

What next?

What do you want next?

If resistance arises, let it go. 

Now has no past, it only pretends to. 

Now anything is possible.

[Surfingthewave]

@Nahm Yes, there is no next. But there IS infinite possibilities. Although I  do feel what seems like fear perhap it s fear of the unknown, like I'm entering a new realm. Ps You really should write a book ?

@ajasatya Thank you, I would love to be able to meditate 24 hours a day. That's the dream. 

 

 

[Nahm]

@Surfingthewave The discovery is in the sensation. Stay with it, ‘ride’ that wave. Write down what you know you don’t want, and then make a list of what you now know you do want. Then burn the first list, and bury the ashes. 

And thanks, likewise. 

Meditation 24 hrs a day, quite literally is the dream. You really nailed it there. 

[Surfingthewave]

@Nahm Thank you I value writing and journalling so I will try this list. I've used affirmations before however not to state what I don't want.

Do you mean, the dream is what the " I" really is, and what we all seek?