Posted June 4, 2019 Somehow, eating at home feels like death when I need to eat late at night. I know eating outside is not going to change anything. But, eating at home feels like death late at night. What is going on? Shall I accept death? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 I have finished eating outside. I feel empty again. I ate outside for nothing. So empty. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 2 hours ago, Shiva said: "late at night" lol. Here in Spain, restaurants are just starting to see the first guests at 9PM. Still too early for many people Yeap, I remember when working downtown I used to hang out several days afterwork to grab a beer around 9:30pm, then I would get home around 11:00pm, take a shower and finally eat at 11:30 I wouldn´t say this style damaged my habits or healthy life, its definetely radical but depending on what society you live some times its what works best. Fear is just a thought Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 (edited) 32 minutes ago, Shiva said: Spanish way of life Are you telling me to suck it up, die, and be reborn? It's difficult to eat the same food over and over when my discipline is far below its best. It feels like dying when my discipline is shit. A high level of momentum could make it easy. I just don't have momentum now. Edited June 4, 2019 by CreamCat Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 5 hours ago, CreamCat said: What is going on? An argument for making new threads pay as you go LOL It was like this when mobile phones started offering loads of free texts as "normal". When people no longer had to pay per text, it changed everything. People starting texting with reckless abandon. We wouldn't get half as many Viagra emails if the sender had to pay to send each one Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 It seems no reply has answered my questions so far. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 4 minutes ago, CreamCat said: It seems no reply has answered my questions so far. No clue what you mean by this question. Why on earth does eating late make you feel like dying? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 (edited) 18 minutes ago, DrewNows said: Why on earth does eating late make you feel like dying? Needing to eat dinner late at night means I screwed up my day. I usually have dinner between 6:00PM and 7:00PM. I am preoccupied with distractions. It feels like dying to ditch distractions at once and do the right thing. Eating the same food over and over feels like dying when I don't have a lot of positive momentum built up. When my discipline is shit, it is tempting to go outside and enjoy new food. Eating outside is another distraction. Edited June 4, 2019 by CreamCat Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 12 minutes ago, CreamCat said: Needing to eat dinner late at night means I screwed up my day. I usually have dinner before 7:00PM. My momentum is leaning toward distractions. It feels like dying to ditch distractions at once and do the right thing. Eating the same food over and over feels like dying when I don't have a lot of positive momentum built up. When my discipline is shit, it is tempting to go outside and enjoy new food. this sounds extremely contradictory and unclear. Think for yourself mate, who says you gotta eat at a specific time, eat the same foods and blah blah blah. Don't resist yourself, just love and learn from yourself. Listen to your body, observe your thoughts and emotions. Notice what thoughts come from fear/resistance and those which come from love/abundance. Best wishes, breath easy mate Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 4, 2019 (edited) 30 minutes ago, CreamCat said: Needing to eat dinner late at night means I screwed up my day. I usually have dinner between 6:00PM and 7:00PM. I am preoccupied with distractions. It feels like dying to ditch distractions at once and do the right thing. Eating the same food over and over feels like dying when I don't have a lot of positive momentum built up. When my discipline is shit, it is tempting to go outside and enjoy new food. Eating outside is another distraction. The only thing you should be focused on in your own personal development journey right now man is your own moralizations. All of your posts reek of toxic moralism on yourself (which often get projected onto others in many of your comments and posts). If I were you, I would make my goal to be free of all this shit man. Your posts are riddled with victim mindset and the identity of a victim, low self-esteem, and toxic moralism. All of which are hogwash. I know this because I still deal with 2 out of those 3 (low self-esteem and victim mindset) and I'm seeing that in your posts. I suggest you probably drop nondual enlightenment stuff for a bit because I see in your posts you using it to beat yourself over the head with it and also to create an entire victim narrative. I do both of those things a good bit and it's really an addiction but one that's worth dropping. I don't want to go into talking about how you're God and you're Love and all of this stuff because if that's never been a direct conscious experience for you (I've only little tastes and seen dandruff particles of the Ox) it's really just you lying to yourself and breaking integrity. By the way, it doesn't need to be a conscious experience for you right now. How about you learn to just enjoy and be grateful for the food you get to eat regardless of what time it is? You have food to eat man. That's fucking awesome! I know it doesn't seem fucking awesome because I'm usually the sour intellectual asshole that dismisses all of that just to not change because I think I'm smart but guess what? That's bullshit. You can enjoy your food without having to be fulfill some fantasy of some hyper-disciplined enlightened fantasy that you and I have. Learn to enjoy your life. I'm saying this as someone whose going through this very endeavor. Not someone whose trying to talk down to you. I also suggest maybe taking time off the forum. It doesn't seem to be helping and it's turning into an outlet of projections and a place just to vent about how much you're disgusted with yourself. Changing this is hard because you gotta learn to be okay and accept who you are even as a personality and ego despite how much you may not feel like you deserve it, how much shame you may have feel when you look at yourself in the mirror, etc. It's hard because that's what I'm doing. Doing that though requires concrete actions and a willingness to both change and go through a process of change and at the same time accepting yourself. You need to find that balance for you. Edited June 4, 2019 by kieranperez Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2019 When someone ask me If I want to eat, I eat. When I m at home, I eat when my stomach tell me, "you need to eat" simple ? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2019 (edited) 3 hours ago, kieranperez said: All of your posts reek of toxic moralism on yourself (which often get projected onto others in many of your comments and posts). 3 hours ago, kieranperez said: Your posts are riddled with victim mindset and the identity of a victim, low self-esteem, and toxic moralism. All of which are hogwash. I know this because I still deal with 2 out of those 3 (low self-esteem and victim mindset) and I'm seeing that in your posts. I think you are exaggerating. Whatever moralism I have is not nearly as toxic as you think it is although I think I need more self acceptance. I don't feel negative emotions as strongly as you do even when I feel that I screwed up my day. What if you are projecting on me? It never occurred to me that I had a problem of low self-esteem. I estimate that my self-esteem is not exactly high, but mediocre. Many things about my life are mediocre. I hope to rise above mediocrity. 3 hours ago, kieranperez said: I suggest you probably drop nondual enlightenment stuff for a bit because I see in your posts you using it to beat yourself over the head with it and also to create an entire victim narrative. If you think I'm deep in victim mindset and low self-esteem now, you didn't see me at the bottom many months ago or a few years ago. Most of victim narrative that I speak of with regard to non-duality is non-duality joke or is an indication that I don't really believe in non-duality. I don't take non-duality seriously at this point. At this point, non-duality is an interesting concept. I plan to focus more on practical stuff for the next few years. Edited June 5, 2019 by CreamCat Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2019 1 hour ago, Winter said: Instead of forcing yourself not to be distracted (which is incredibly emotionally taxing), enjoy yourself when working to the point where you don't even feel like doing anything else. Get to a point where you work is so fucking fun that you are excited by it like a little kid and everything else becomes secondary. To get there you need to see how much fun you can have doing nothing (and subsequently how much fun you can have doing your work). This sounds like a good advice. 1 hour ago, Winter said: You can't change the results, you can't change the momentum either. All you can change is the acceleration and that is how you feel. By having such a mentality you are giving yourself negative acceleration. If you want to be productive then make your good mood your top priority. Sounds good to me. I will try feeling good next time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2019 5 minutes ago, Empty said: @DrewNows Time is an illusion no you are. And that's not what my clock says Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2019 @CreamCat take whatever advice you like and find useful and toss the rest. Like I said, I’m communicating something I think I’m seeing occur in a bunch of posts. I don’t know you, nor do I pretend. I’m making an assumption and acknowledge as such. 1 hour ago, CreamCat said: I don't feel negative emotions as strongly as you do even when I feel that I screwed up my day. Careful there lol don’t pretend. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2019 When i was a student of Newbold College, they had dinner there usually at 5:30 pm lol. ... 7 rabbits will live forever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2019 53 minutes ago, Hellspeed said: When i was a student of Newbold College, they had dinner there usually at 5:30 pm lol. That's a good time to have dinner. 4 hours ago, kieranperez said: Careful there lol don’t pretend. Based on my observation, you seemed to be high in neuroticism. You can prove me wrong. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Posted June 5, 2019 3 hours ago, CreamCat said: Based on my observation, you seemed to be high in neuroticism. You can prove me wrong. I don’t need to prove a fucking thing to you lol. You don’t know me nor do you know anything about me lol. You have a few posts from me on here and now you think you have me figured it out. Stay in your lane lol. Your entitled to believe whatever your mind comes up with though. Best of luck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
