Bodymind always wants sex

[Shin]

6 minutes ago, Gili Trawangan said:

@Leo Gura Honestly, this doesn't work for me. I used to do exactly what you "prescribed"  lots of sex would take away the "hunger" for maybe a couple of days, but then it would come back with a vengeance, stronger than ever. Feeding that hunger became a full time job. I guess people are just different, for me the tendency is to become addicted and unbalanced. That's why I'm having better results with longer periods of abstinence, together with yoga and meditation.

I think it depends on people mindset and cognitive evolution.

Easier to transcend when you're conscious

Almost impossible if you're not, you need to suffer first to be disgusted enough about to be willing to grow.

Leo only says that because he knows that the only way for this guy to stop caring that much about sex is to see that it doesn't work first.

Problem is, without the conceptual knowledge that it won't work, plus a little bit of awareness to feel it when you do that activity

People tend to get stuck for a very long time, if not for life.

It's a very thin line to surf on.

Edited June 13, 2019 by Shin

[Gili Trawangan]

2 minutes ago, Shin said:

Almost impossible if you're not, you need to suffer first to be disgusted enough about to be willing to grow.

Yeah this is what happened to me.

 

It does make sense from that perspective, I would not be so cool with abstinence nowadays had I not had lots of experience and had I not learned for myself that sex is no big deal.

[billiesimon]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Shaun

Step 1: Go have lots of sex until you are full.

Step 2: Then return here and ask about how to transcend sex.

 

Additional notes:

• Do not skip step 1
• Wear a rubber

@Leo Gura do you suggest to have sex with lots of people (like one night stands) or with a few trusted girlfriends who share high intimacy and sexual chemistry with you?

[Shin]

9 minutes ago, Gili Trawangan said:

Yeah this is what happened to me.

 

It does make sense from that perspective, I would not be so cool with abstinence nowadays had I not had lots of experience and had I not learned for myself that sex is no big deal.

At the same time you can use this as an excuse to go deeper into lust too

Instead of going in the abstinence route when you could already do it.

We use everything in our power to stay miserable, this is amazing !

[Hello from Russia]

I had some time with my girlfriend when we had sex 3 times a day. It was wonderful. But in the end of this period I wanted to almost vomit from sex. Thanks we do it in a more spiritual way than most people. From now on most of the cravings are gone.

Having a stable girlfriend with which you have good connection and with whom you can consistently have sex will eliminate bad side of sex cravings for most of you

[Pallero]

12 hours ago, Gili Trawangan said:

@Leo Gura Honestly, this doesn't work for me. I used to do exactly what you "prescribed"  lots of sex would take away the "hunger" for maybe a couple of days, but then it would come back with a vengeance, stronger than ever. Feeding that hunger became a full time job. I guess people are just different, for me the tendency is to become addicted and unbalanced. That's why I'm having better results with longer periods of abstinence, together with yoga and meditation.

This is precisely why I asked if there is a certain kind of sex that you want. You need to have the exact kind of sex that you're craving the most in order to be fulfilled. Just any sex won't do. So maybe take a look at your fetishes to find the answer there? Just a suggestion. I'm not a sex expert.

[Shaun]

On 13/06/2019 at 8:01 AM, Leo Gura said:

@Shaun

Step 1: Go have lots of sex until you are full.

Step 2: Then return here and ask about how to transcend sex.

 

Additional notes:

• Do not skip step 1
• Wear a rubber

I've already explained here that there's no way for me to perform step 1, thus the need has to be understood or transcended somehow. Monks manage to do it.

[Pallero]

2 hours ago, Shaun said:

I've already explained here that there's no way for me to perform step 1, thus the need has to be understood or transcended somehow. Monks manage to do it.

People who "transcend" their sexuality actually completely disassociate from it and reject it. That is the opposite of spirituality, enlightenment and onness. You cannot get rid of your sexuality and sexual needs. It is impossible. As long as you are human, you will have them, and there's nothing unspiritual about that.

I'm sorry. I know this makes you feel angry and powerless. But the only way forward is find a way to meet those needs. There has to be a way for you to perform step 1. If there is a need, there is a way. Even if you can't see it right now, there is a way. You don't need to do it now and you don't need to do it alone, but you will be stuck forever if you don't do it. And of course, you have free will so you can choose to be stuck. But you will be miserable.

[Shaun]

Maybe in a sense I've been granted what I wished for. I was talking to a woman who I once would have considered extremely attractive in both looks and personality but I felt absolutely nothing. Maybe it's this dark night of the soul.

[Aeris]

5 hours ago, see_on_see said:

Abstinence, NoFap or such nonsense are not the solution. The reason you're addicted to sex (or any addiction really, but especially sex) is because fundamentally you're disconnected from your True Self. Which doesn't mean you gotta become an enlightened master or something. It means that you must become aligned to your purpose in life. 

When you channel your energy into your purpose and you are emotionally and spiritually aligned to it, you'll notice you need much less sex and masturbation. Which doesn't mean now you completely stop it. This idea of total abstinence is pure fantasy and a neurotic overreaction to the issue. It just means there's a balance and you start needing it less, in a natural way. Then you can still fap or have sex, but now you will naturally do it in moderation because you are more grounded and balanced. 

why being moderate about sex, what are the benefit ?

what if your life purpose is to have a lot of sex ?