What being a man means ?

[Shin]

3 minutes ago, flowboy said:

But others will. You can't expect to charm everyone else into being as evolved as you are. In other words, you will have ruthless competition bent on taking away your source of income. And many times you can't convince them to cooperate.

In that case, the evolved man will have to make choices that go against his unevolved competitor's agenda, or his evolved family will go hungry.

 

What you're talking about, again, rarely applies in life todays, there is always enough money to earn if you are humble enough to work at whatever basic job there is an offer on.
Survival is not about having enough money to feed yourself anymore (in most modern countries).
So this doesn't even applies.

[Hellspeed]

Simple. Discover that in a spiritual connection with a woman, genuine love, without attachment.

Tantra helped me in my case.

[flowboy]

@Shin My point is that I feel like the warrior energy is not represented in your otherwise comprehensive list. The fighting for freedom.

If this evolved man is determined to not go against anyone else's agenda, people can't count on him to protect them. or even change anything for the better. He will be floating like a leaf in the wind, turning the other cheek, not accepting a promotion at work because someone else wanted it, not getting his business off the ground because the competition doesn't want him to, and avoiding conflict because he doesn't want to see it. He won't knock out a robber when he sees a grandmother's purse being stolen. He will not prevent a rape when it is occurring right in front of him, because that goes against the agenda of the rapist. He is unable to be hard when necessary. He can't tell his children they can't have a toy, because that goes against their agenda. There is no masculine compassion.

And the feminine can't feel safe around him.

I don't agree that the examples I gave rarely apply. But even if that were true, what would the evolved man do in those cases?

Likewise, you could say that in modern societies it is very rare to have to die for your mission. But you still mention it at the top of your list

Edited June 4, 2019 by flowboy

[DrewNows]

How to be the superior @Shin 

interesting 

dont think one can reach this perfect version simply through principle and sheer will 

It’s a journey of trial error failure and humility, filled with learning and integration 

[Emerald]

6 hours ago, Shin said:

An evolved man wouldn't have a competition mindset

Competition and the ability to fight and stand one's ground has its practical place, when there are real things at stake. And this does happen quite often when a person is in a leadership type position. But the average person comes across instances where this is necessary as well. So, it's not as rare as you think. 

A person who is looking to develop their masculine side should learn to set and enforce boundaries as necessary. They should be able to stand their ground and draw lines in the sand and embody the archetype of the warrior. 

And when a man is able to embody this archetype among many others, he feels like he's more in tune with his masculine energy. 

If someone doesn't have this skill developed, there is weakness and they can be easily deterred from their path and not able to access the fire of the warrior as they always default to the receptivity of the element of water. 

So, someone who's in their masculine should be like a fierce lion with a very skilled lion tamer that exerts effortless control over the lion through attunement. Don't make the fierceness of the lion bad. Don't banish the lion from the man. 

The ability to protect is also the ability to cause harm. But in order to wield this sword properly, the lower nature of the lion must be tamed and channeled toward higher pursuits. But never does the ability to be a lion get left out of the equation. The lion is necessary for the development of the masculine.

Now, the example that the other poster gave is a little out there, as that's a very unlikely scenario and it's a bit nationalistic. But there are really hazards and boundary breaches to navigate, and one needs the lion to effectively handle them. 

 

 

[jbram2002]

 I made this video 8 years ago mostly as a satirical way to roast some douchebag online. However, I think most of it still applies.

[Key Elements]

She was married to dedicated, real men in her first two marriages:

And, unfortunately, learned the hard way...

That's why she's able explain what is a real man in a real relationship.

[Aeris]

8 hours ago, Shin said:

An evolved man wouldn't have a competition mindset

the core OS-ego is fixed to competition, when your physical life form would be threathen tho, the paradox of being again the selfish "competitive monkey" will comes.

being aware doesn't mean you can beat your own natural shit.

you're by definition a competitive creature, and if not in the framework of society, humans vs humans, it's at list, you vs nature.

 

ps : many feminine guys hate me, because I m too masculine for people who doesn't want to reflect on the test that I incarnate.

 

I tended to be over autist masculine ( I m still sort of I suppose, I don't fix to mind ideas ), kind of like leo, that's why "feminine" was always my weakness to understand until a very long age. ( 23y+ )

 

and I believe an evolved man, would still compete, but against himself, to be more than himself, to strive above his own self.

belonging/being is more feminine, compete & resolving is in all "males nature", looks more animals documentary, only my observation. Ho sure we are not "animals". But we are the reflection of nature.

Edited June 5, 2019 by Aeris

[Aeris]

8 hours ago, flowboy said:

But others will. You can't expect to charm everyone else into being as evolved as you are. In other words, you will have ruthless competition bent on taking away your source of income. And many times you can't convince them to cooperate.

In that case, the evolved man will have to make choices that go against his unevolved competitor's agenda, or his evolved family will go hungry.

funny haha

 

exactly my thought on what is truly a "stage coral", he doesn't embody "looking evolved" because the situation is not above yellow right now, so he knows his place in current nature states ( society is nature )

a man so : he knows most of his problem can only be resolved by himself for himself according to his personnal situation in his current context.

 

you should act orange/red if you want to help people to go at higher tier one day, doesn't mean because you totaly look like a red/orange that you are not coral. remember what leo said, you cannot understand stages above your own, only project what you believe people are "into".

You could aswell not having this goal at all, but be aware that peaceful lifestyle doesn't come from the sky ( or maybe .. ? )

when leo looks not open minded for instance and devilry occuring in him, it's not, he is just doing his own agenda, and that's totaly fair & clear to me. ( see what I m doing here right now )

 

being passive is dangerous to the world ( or maybe not, but it could still be a "waste" )

life purpose could be more like pushing society to go for a yellow mindset at all cost.

anyway after psych, you feel that the world will go where it has to go, because everything evolve as an entire sea & all my talks are not trying to convince people, they provide exercice in my communication skills that I m working on currently. ( and I m happy if people can reflect on upgrading their thoughts and experiences for themself, or even point to my flaws )

 

so maybe some people will be driven just to live a passive life, it's not a problem neither, they can still inspire some active people to pursue their actives goals.

And anyway, everything is ephemeric, so everyone, takes a sit, maximize your pleasure ( be aware I m not sayin it in the materialism orange view of it ) > and try to not be groundless and meaningless for the rest of your days.

giving pleasure to the entire society assure you to be around more "evolved" people.

so helping people, is litteraly helping yourself.

Maximizing joy is not about having more materials/girls.

or maybe you should just accept the man sides of things, and embody more your feminine and be the man-girl you should be.

So you are exactly who you need to be right now, and no one has to follow your evolved path. ( and if so, why should people evolve to be likes you ? is that truly "open minded" ? )

 

for me a part of being man, is about to be competitive but as healthy as you can ( & respect your rivals ) 

Edited June 5, 2019 by Aeris

[Michael569]

Excellent post ! After reading David Deida's work, couldn't agree more. 

I think we should have a same post on women for all guys here to read. @Emerald I think you would be the perfect person to raise something like that on here  

[Shin]

10 minutes ago, Michael569 said:

Excellent post ! After reading David Deida's work, couldn't agree more. 

I think we should have a same post on women for all guys here to read. @Emerald I think you would be the perfect person to raise something like that on here  

Yeah that would be great

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Excellent post ! After reading David Deida's work, couldn't agree more. 

I think we should have a same post on women for all guys here to read. @Emerald I think you would be the perfect person to raise something like that on here  

Well, that might not read quite as well as the situations are a bit different. Men tend more-so to be empowered by being men and developing their masculinity because masculinity is much less shrouded in the collective shadow than femininity is. So, for a man, the idea of being a man and developing one's masculinity can be a self-esteem boost and encourage a man toward personal development. There are some double-edged swords here, of course. So, it's not hazard free. But it's a lot closer the surface of collective consciousness.

For a woman, it's always a mixed bag of the most positive and negative things to embody femininity. So, a woman who is not ready to embody the feminine, can really get knocked down the rabbit hole of low-self esteem by trying to embrace their femininity as to embrace the feminine is to have the shadow projected upon you. You really have to unpack a lot of baggage for it to be empowering, and most people aren't clear enough for it. And part of unpacking that baggage has to do with setting Feminist beliefs aside for a time and letting the shadow of misogyny penetrate you to see what it is, where it comes from, how to dismantle it, and how it resides in ourselves.

There are a lot of ancestral wounds around womanhood and femininity surrounding oppression, it's not so easy to feel empowered by trying to be more feminine which is often seen as disempowering by its very nature. And this is the way that it's unconsciously taught. 

Most women, when they were children, came to a fork in the road where there seems only to be two paths. The first path is in the direction of the societal script around femininity, which is very disempowering and narrow. It's either too sexualized/objectifying or reflects a narrowing down to only the feminine/care-taker role. Not much can grow in that box. And women who choose this path will be stunted in their growth.

The second path is to reject their femininity and embrace their masculinity as a means of empowerment and then rebrand masculinity as neutrality and consider it to be just a social construct. Now, this path is far superior to the former narrow box of the societal script around femininity but it ultimately cuts women off from their feminine power source, where the majority of feminine growth is to be had.

But to really find the feminine,  you have to dig your own path and open yourself up to the awareness of the feminine wounding. You really have to dig yourself open to do this. And you must cast aside desires for significance or status, which is difficult for a woman on the second path to do as she probably cast off her femininity as a child to be accepted, praised, and seen as valuable/valid to begin with. The woman on the first path will never even get to this point. But a woman on the second path can come to the threshold of it and lose heart as it makes her face directly with what she fears.

And this is a very vulnerable thing, where you come face to face with your own internalized misogyny and self-loathing. And you come to grips with many disturbing truths about your place in society in this work. But you also find many hidden treasures in the dragon's lair, so to speak.

Once you've done it, you are much more receptive and in touch with your emotions. And you can become a source of refuge for people. The feminine can't survive much in such a hyper Yang environment. So, it is quite rare to find someone who can really be receptive and empathetically hold space for others and truly embody the feminine. And you also become much more intuitive and are able to flow downstream more easily.

Also, society tends not to value the traits within the feminine principle very much. So, there feels like there's not a lot to gain but a lot to lose in being more feminine. So, most women will balk at the suggestion to be more in touch with the feminine, because what it translates to is often a nullification of what they actually are. There are people everywhere that are always trying to cast away the feminine while simultaneously fetishizing it. So, women tend to have quite an allergy to such a notion... as do I. So, I'd be unlikely to make that kind of post because I know that I'd be stepping on toes. It can be like lemon juice on wounds for a lot of women to receive any advice on being more feminine. And many would at least regard it suspiciously. 

It's a painful and uncomfortable thing to traverse. And in order to embody the feminine truly, you must be incredibly iconoclastic and willing to face with many subconscious monsters. It's not something to dabble in. 

 

Edited June 5, 2019 by Emerald

[Natasha]

46 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And you can become a source of refuge for people

Yes, a loving, good woman has the capacity to serve as the gateway to a man's healing and becoming if she chooses to see him as imperfect and fallible, but lovable nonetheless. Men are not put into our lives to save us. As a couple, we are put into one another's lives to help birth God in each other.

[Emerald]

18 minutes ago, Natasha said:

Yes, a loving, good woman has the capacity to serve as the gateway to a man's healing and becoming if she chooses to see him as imperfect and fallible, but lovable nonetheless. Men are not put into our lives to save us. As a couple, we are put into one another's lives to help birth God in each other.

Yes. For sure that's true in relationship.

But relative to my last post, I was speaking more generally about a person who has integrated the feminine being almost like the other side of the pillow in society. So, it's like a general healing presence to be around someone who can be in that space. And that can be man or woman, as well. 

 

 

[Michael569]

@Emerald  Tis was so enlightening on so many different levels!!

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Most women, when they were children, came to a fork in the road where there seems only to be two paths. The first path is in the direction of the societal script around femininity, which is very disempowering and narrow. It's either too sexualized/objectifying or reflects a narrowing down to only the feminine/care-taker role. Not much can grow in that box. And women who choose this path will be stunted in their growth.

The second path is to reject their femininity and embrace their masculinity as a means of empowerment and then rebrand masculinity as neutrality and consider it to be just a social construct. Now, this path is far superior to the former narrow box of the societal script around femininity but it ultimately cuts women off from their feminine power source, where the majority of feminine growth is to be had.

I had no idea that this has been going on. Perhaps subconsciously but never fully acknowledged it intellectually. And now looking at most females I know it seems it is either one or the other, sometimes a mix of both resulting in a neutrality with masculine dominance. 

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Also, society tends not to value the traits within the feminine principle very much. So, there feels like there's not a lot to gain but a lot to lose in being more feminine. So, most women will balk at the suggestion to be more in touch with the feminine, because what it translates to is often a nullification of what they actually are.

Right on the spot ! So so true, especially in the corporate world where I am just now, you can really tell that some who took the first road above struggle much to fake it. The other seem more natural but appear like an icicle. Cold and emotionless icequeens that men fear. Rarely you'd see an executive being a feminine person..that prob doesn't even exist. 

Thank you for taking time to write this, I think this deserves its own separate post

Edited June 5, 2019 by Michael569

[Natasha]

19 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Yes. For sure that's true in relationship.

But relative to my last post, I was speaking more generally about a person who has integrated the feminine being almost like the other side of the pillow in society. So, it's like a general healing presence to be around someone who can be in that space. And that can be man or woman, as well. 

 

 

I agree. I was fortunate to grow up around some both men and women who exuded that presence. Interestingly, none of them were into any kind of spirituality, as far as I can remember. And maybe having had that experience with them was also one of the contributing factors leading to my awakening later in life. Would be a cool point to contemplate on

[Shin]

14 minutes ago, Natasha said:

I agree. I was fortunate to grow up around some both men and women who exuded that presence. Interestingly, none of them were into any kind of spirituality, as far as I can remember. And maybe having had that experience with them was also one of the contributing factors leading to my awakening later in life. Would be a cool point to contemplate on

Surely is.

That and the old fashioned and classic deep deep suffering.

[Natasha]

10 minutes ago, Shin said:

Surely is.

That and the old fashioned and classic deep deep suffering.

Yes, I already know suffering was a contributing factor as well. Psychological suffering loses its grip upon awakening, though. You as the Absolute is untouchable by it.

[LastThursday]

@Mikael89 a man follows the rules when he needs to, and breaks rules when he needs to - without regret or fear of judgement from others.

@Shin superb post.

Edited June 5, 2019 by LastThursday

[Bill W]

2 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

@Mikael89 a man follows the rules when he needs to, and breaks rules when he needs to - without regret or fear of judgement from others.

Same for women.