In Love With A Girl In A Relationship

[Ajax]

6 hours ago, Man in the Mirror said:

@Ajax i agree with @Will here, leaving her boyfriend for pixelwave wouldn't necessarily indicate a bad thing. it would be worse of her if she stayed in the relationship when she knows she could be happier somewhere else. she has to be true to herself first, not her boyfriend.

This might not be a popular opinion, but it is one i've observed many many many times. when a girl is in a relationship she is not happy with, she will talk to other guys, maybe flirt a little but will keep it strictly friendship, to line up her options before she leaves the relationship. maybe she doesnt see a long term future with her current bf?

I have no prejudice toward such a person, it IS the way of modern humanity. However, betraying a loved one is NOT an ethical solution... the end never justifies the means. If she was really being true to herself, she would leave with out treachery. I may stand alone, but there are women who understand this. I just have high standards.

They are out there, though I admit... one may have better luck finding UFO's!

Edited May 20, 2016 by Ajax

[Cuzzo]

You will most likely end up hurt or waiting in vain unless you have other options. It's a path that I have been down one too many times. 

[Cuzzo]

13 hours ago, Ajax said:

I have no prejudice toward such a person, it IS the way of modern humanity. However, betraying a loved one is NOT an ethical solution... the end never justifies the means. If she was really being true to herself, she would leave with out treachery. I may stand alone, but there are women who understand this. I just have high standards.

They are out there, though I admit... one may have better luck finding UFO's!

I agree with this. It's like a survival instinct for people (seems like women mostly) to set up options while still claiming to be "true" to their partner. 

[Ajax]

3 hours ago, Cuzzo said:

I agree with this. It's like a survival instinct for people (seems like women mostly) to set up options while still claiming to be "true" to their partner. 

My thoughts exactly. That's why I only go after single ladies. I want a woman who can handle being single, it shows a strong, independent woman...which is something that I admire.  She is strong enough to leave if things are not going well in a relationship and is compassionate enough to leave a man with as little hurt as possible. She has such a high level of decency that she will not be double-dealing with you. These are qualities of higher consciousness. High consciousness  can and does override instinct.

Furthermore, a "Disney" romance or "The One" doesn't exist things get real and the things get tough after a couple of years. It happens to everyone, stormy weather is bound to happen. Our love and relationships are tested in times of trouble and one who is willing to betray their love and partner when life throws challenges is NOT someone who I want by my side.

Of course every case and person is different, but as I said in my first post it is something to think about and be aware of. As Cuzzo said, being flighty is instinctual and so the chances are greater that you will get hurt if such instinct is strong in a woman you are courting.

 

Edited May 20, 2016 by Ajax

[pixelwave]

So great to read all these opinions about my topic. I haven't heard her now in like 6 days, I know we still like each other, but I feel better this way.

It's tough and hard but I need to move on and look for other fish in the sea. It's a really good girl that I will keep as a friend, because she's awesome but I won't get so close anymore because I would feel trapped. Now there are exams where I need to focus on.

 

 

 

 

[Flower]

On 26 April 2016 at 6:47 PM, pixelwave said:

every time I just flirt a little she flirts back. But I just stop because I don't want to interfere in her relationship. I'm probably friend zoned, but It's just so strange that she wants to work with me every single time. She almost didn't go to meet her friends because I asked her to work with me. 

I think this is also a matter of self-respect, If you know she is in a relationship you should not flirt with her even if she flirts with you because either she does not have a good relationship with her boyfriend and is looking for something new or she just wants a bit of fun, and the question is not a matter of your coming in between her and her boyfriend because she is choosing to flirt inappropriately and cross a boundary herself.

On your behalf what is important is that do you want to have a a fling or a relationship with a girl who either a) will have her fun with you an get over it or b) will leave her boyfriend for you ( but do you want to be in a relationship with someone who flirts with other guys whilst in a relationship?) 

I personally in this situation would not flirt back and make it clear that I respect myself not to be involved with someone in a relationship- I know how hurtful it can be when your partner lusts over or flirts with other women and I would not want to be that cause of hurt for another person.  

 

[pixelwave]

Hi all

Now a few months later, I followed all your guys advice. I went on dating and flirting around during the summer.

I finally had my first sexual experience which is quite late for a 20 year old I know. But I feel like I'm getting better each day, 2 years ago I kissed my first girl (myself) and I was crazy shy. Now 2 years later I kissed 14 girls and had my first sexual experience. Friends see me interacting with girls and say that I'm much smoother and so much more confident. I see so much more signals of girls and I feel the attraction. It's strange but I'm so much more myself, I love being out there talking to new people.

From that one night stand I had I realised that okay it might be good for my personal development, but I just did it for fun I didn't really love the person. Okay she was attractive but that was all. I mean I never hear or will see that person again because it was on a festival abroad.
And what I don't understand is a friend of mine is extremely shy, social awkward and had a serious relationship for like a year. The girl had to kiss him because he was too shy to do it. That guy had more sexual experience with that 1 girl than I ever had. I mean that's so strange? 

I'm here personal developing each day, one step a time and my friend just stays home the whole day gaming and had a relationship... I mean like common. And she was actually quite social and attractive.

So what bothers me about that is that my experiences don't lead to a relationship, not all of them need to but still, do I come over too needy or too unserious? I don't really know.

I try not to think about it that much, I don't really need a relationship. I can perfectly be happy alone since I finally accept myself, but I would love to flirt or kiss or have sex with someone I truly love...

 

 

[egoeimai]

@pixelwave  yes I have.

Have you seen in the movies where a woman or a man has already a relationship and then accidentaly meets a person for a job or is making a new friend or she/he meets a person on the streets and then they feel connected ?? Although one of them has already a relationship,both seem to have fun together. So then something changes and they find sth better than their own current relationship. And they are together.

So because she has a relationship this doesnt mean it has to stop you. Or discourage you. Of course she has a relationship. Shes a happy and fulfilled person. But that doesnt mean that she can have better. So maybe this person is you.!!

[egoeimai]

@pixelwave  well even though you say you dont need a relationship, I can see a connection between you and your needs. 

For that shy friend you were talking about...let me tell you. You can have long term relationships too. Its not that sth difficult to achieve,and you can have sex/kiss/or whatever including love. Love I think it has to do more with ourselves. So If you want to have a relationship you can have it. Untill you find a girl who wants the same. And attract this type

[MarcusJ]

@Leo Gura    We need your opinion on this tough one!

[pixelwave]

@MarcusJ @Leo Gura Yeah would be awesome... Still a few months later, I kept on dating met bunch of cool girls. But I still can't get my thoughts of her. So I try to avoid her but she comes back. Tomorrow we are dating again because she kept asking me out and every time I thought of changing the subject. But after 3 times I was like why not, maybe.. I mean I am the guy, normally I fix the dates... That's why I never ask her again... When we've dated before a few months ago I showed her around some great places at the end of the date she asked my number. When I just wanted to kiss her to say goodbye like a friendship kiss, it all got a little awkward because she went for something more I guess, and I thought of less. 

They are like 5 years with each other seriously, I don't want to destroy that. On her pictures she looks so happy with her life and him. Now I feel like I don't really need a relationship but with I'm with her it's like I'm so much more confident and myself. It's like the best version of me, I have never felt this way with anyone before. And like the strange thing is sometimes I have the feeling at work that she needs me even more than I need her. 

In 1 year of actualizing I learned so much it's crazy! But how to get someone out of your head woww, that's so goddamn hard, because every single time I meet someone new. It's just not the same mutual attraction... 

Sometimes it's easier said then done... maybe some advice Leo would give is to completely avoid her. I already tried as much as I can to do that! At work I'm not going to her anymore because I want to fucking move on. But again she comes to me...

Next week I have a date planned, with a nice girl. I guess she also has a lot of potential... I hope that works out! 

Tomorrow I will have more insights, then I guess this post will be completely different. Maybe I'm looking at the whole situation like fairytale land. From every thing I learned so far, I know it's not just friendship, I feel the attraction. But I just need to figure out a way to just be cool with her and be friends... 

[flhugoboss]

See below post. Sorry for the double post cus I don't know how to delete this one.

Edited September 2, 2016 by flhugoboss

[flhugoboss]

On 5/2/2016 at 4:59 AM, reez said:

@pixelwave It sounds to me that you are too needy.

Read "The Way of The Superior Man" - David Deida, "No More Mr. Nice Guy" - Robert Glover and "The 3% Man" - Corey Wayne, in that order.

No More Mr. Nice Guy is basically the book you should read to get rid of neediness. TWTSM is a GREAT read, and will help you understand what your purpose as a man is, not your life purpose. But what the man's part in a relationship/life is.

The 3% Man is mostly about understanding women and attracting them, but is a good read as well.

such a great book. No More Mr Nice Guy. i was able to pick up my balls from the ground up and put it back up.

I was being dumped before, after reading that book i end up dumping girls i don't like and able to attract the one i truly like...she WAS the one that says to me, "Felix you complete me...like a sweet donut that fills the hole in me", yes...not a lie...anyways. the book is a read for every man.

To pixelwave:

Look brother, every girl has a boyfriend (true or not) but not with you as hers. Every girl is having sex with someone sometime or simply banging some guy, except with you, that is just a real fact of life, except 1% of virgins. I don't want to marry one since I am not one. The fact is if the "girl is really into you" then she wants to know if "YOU GOT THE BALL" and the LION-N-E-S-S power to overcome her and be BETTER than her boyfriend.

Then she wants you and she "will" dump her BOYFRIEND when she can step up to be your girlfriend. Trust me, you can't stop a girl what she wants to do if she want to leave her boyfriend once the decision is made. 

Stop worrying about what her b/f will think. Have you met him? No.  

If you advance your sexual interest and if she really really love her bf then she will "STOP your advances" then you won't go anywhere. You are NOT her boyfriend and you are not "qualified" to assume she really like her boyfriend or not (she won't tell you).

She may say, "oh i really like my bf". That really does not mean anything ...till you make the advance. IF that is a CASE, she will not break her bf's heart and go to bed with you. That is a limit test.

So what if she has a boyfriend, it really does not mean anything...Did she tell you..."oh we are planning to get married..."?

Nice homemmy type and pretty girl "always" have two kinds of boyfriends: serious but not marriage material and non-serious and not marriage material. She may not have the serious and marriage material boyfriend. You could be him but you have to advance to find out. Don't be a intimate fool wasting time with her for five yrs dreaming. You are not Her Boyfriend and thus can not assumed the situation. 

Just go for it, brother. After the sex, if she went back to her bf, then just leave and never come back to her, but if you "work" together, then DON"T DO IT.

That is my advice to you. Stop being a pussy cat, boy. She wants to know if you can treasure her. If she INTRODUCE you to her bf and you met, then that is REALLY OFF LIMITS. 

Sincerely,

Felix the HUGOBOSS.

P.S. I bet she just want your time, effort and energy (of chase) and real company...and then go home having sex with her bf while you dreaming and saliva-ing about loving her. If you let that happened to you for five years. Oh boy, I am so sorry for you, bro. That is just too bad. Good guy finish first, nice guy (like you) finish last. Cool guy finish on the Top (able to control when and how to be nice). 

P.S. If you are a young age, oh boy..you should have taken the lessons and listen to "Leykis 101".

http://www.ign.com/boards/threads/leykis-101-this-is-for-men-that-want-to-get-laid-there-is-no-love-or-morals-involved-here.145890532/

P.S. Leo to me, is "The Ultimate Cool Guy". Everything he says about woman is really FOCKING THE TRUTH. I have slept with just too many that is why i know. That is why i respect him and listened to him in youtube. Of course, his view is neither the standard nor the bible but his method is how I overcome many difficulties and have a better method in dealing life.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 2, 2016 by flhugoboss