after some consciousness work i've done, something is change, tell me what is this

[John Iverson]

I don't know something's change, for 1 year of meditation then 16 times of psychedelic trips, the 14th is mushroom the 15th is LSD then the 16th is mushroom .. lately i took mushroom for this year and last thursday i took cannabis , it is very profound to my experience.. i took it by feeling that i want to try it. So i contacted my hippie friends to bond with them so for sure i will smoke there, when the cannabis hits me i suddenly meditate  and i become aware of everything , this is a different story to tell ,.. hmm after that night.. slowly somethings change about how i feel my body mind and intelligence.. my emotions is really really lively.. when i hear a music i feel it so much! And here is some weird thing that i experience today.. when i am eating my father watch some religious talk on tv and as is try to listen my intelligence hits me, my mind starts to give me some answers that i don't even ask it is just random and i am so surprise .. as i write this down here i am confused and my mind starts to question without me asking it..my question is what is this.. who am i?  I feel like i am in the mode of nothing, all just experience, and it is nothing.. can you tell me what's going on to me?? I can say that what i talk about intelligence is not egoic.. i can tell that something happened to my mind so this is the effect.. something's change oh my God!

 

and oh!! I am taking Reishi Mushroom, i don't know how long but i think it is already 1 month? Or 2 months now? Or 3 i don't even remember 

 

my mind tries to go back to my normal state, doing unconscious stuff, roaming around the youtube and facebook and stuffs, but, something's changed that even the ego backlash i have cannot do anythig about it,, alot changed to my system.. i don't know all of it, i just know based on my experience...  my ego tries to normalize everything to his effort of be a monkey mind but thing's change, 

Edited June 1, 2019 by John Iverson

[CreamCat]

I envy you. God is whispering into your ears. Don't fight it. Embrace the change. Monkey magic will bring you close to your old monkey self eventually.

God is giving you information. Be thankful for it.

What do you mean by everything when you said you became aware of everything?

Edited June 1, 2019 by CreamCat

[Andrewww]

@CreamCat What do you mean by monkey magic will bring him closer to his old monkey self? 

[John Iverson]

2 hours ago, CreamCat said:

I envy you. God is whispering into your ears. Don't fight it. Embrace the change. Monkey magic will bring you close to your old monkey self eventually.

God is giving you information. Be thankful for it.

What do you mean by everything when you said you became aware of everything?

That is  exactly what is really happening to me, imean one of the things that is happening to me, huhu, 

imean like there is nothing here , there is a point that i become aware of being here with the ego then i try to meditate as i try to observe then it will go back to being aware with ego.. holy fuck!! Hahahaha  all is experienced, 

[CreamCat]

12 hours ago, Andrewww said:

@CreamCat What do you mean by monkey magic will bring him closer to his old monkey self? 

Monkey mind is human ego. Monkey magic is the tricks that human ego plays on itself.

Psychedelics kill ego temporarily. Ego will return hours or days after ego death.

[Aeris]

This topic résonate but you did a lot of psych tho.

Tell yourself that I was like you for this questions at 7 years old. Not easy to navigate when the whole world looks totaly asleep. Something has to be wrong with me having Infinite questions. Of course at 12 I was into complotism stuff esp with internet. Then I go sleep myself with vidéo games and shit for almost a décade 

Just giving a side to my experience about my own spirituality

You are getting the green very good.

keep your tools for inquiry sharp. 

Edited June 2, 2019 by Aeris

[kag101]

Dude, let me be very clear of what is happening with you: you are abusing psychedelics and spiritual practices! That's for sure! 

If you don't stop all of that soon, you'll be in for a rude awakening when you find yourself at a mental asylum. Psychedelics are not hard drugs, but they are still hallucinogenics. If you take them too much combined with too much meditation, you'll freak out sooner or later. 

Be responsible! If you're going to take psychedelics, at least take them responsibly! 

[bejapuskas]

@John Iverson  Maybe your ego wants to make sense of these experiences, when it's not really in its capabilities to do so. Sometimes you need to surrender even deeper, so that you can only feel, without labeling. I think that should help. I have a similar experience, sometimes I feel that I am pure love and then the ego starts kind of going into it, it wants to claim the love for itself, but I just kind of let it pass by me, if you know what I mean. 

[John Iverson]

On 6/2/2019 at 4:21 PM, kag101 said:

Dude, let me be very clear of what is happening with you: you are abusing psychedelics and spiritual practices! That's for sure! 

If you don't stop all of that soon, you'll be in for a rude awakening when you find yourself at a mental asylum. Psychedelics are not hard drugs, but they are still hallucinogenics. If you take them too much combined with too much meditation, you'll freak out sooner or later. 

Be responsible! If you're going to take psychedelics, at least take them responsibly! 

How can you say that i'm abusing it?

[universe]

What do you think has changed? Change is good. Keep on changing!

 

Sorry I have some trouble understanding you, maybe try some time without drugs and see where it leads you to?

[John Iverson]

8 hours ago, universe said:

What do you think has changed? Change is good. Keep on changing!

 

Sorry I have some trouble understanding you, maybe try some time without drugs and see where it leads you to?

I really don't know what change it is, but something is happening to me.., it feels like there is no turning back.. there is no way out, what will happen to me is permanent.. and it is inevitable.. 

what you advice i think it is the right thing to do.. but arg! Ego backlash is so strong at this time!... you know if ego backlash hits you it is so destructive my mind starts to see that i am still this self, but i know something is change but by having ego backlash i don't know what is this and it is hard for me to see what change will manifest.. because i am now doing the old pattern of my mind.. it feels like there is no change.. but i know somehow there is.. 

[CreamCat]

Psychedelics are known to change brain structure. The more you consume it, the more you will change.

It's best to not consume them too much too fast. If you do it too much too fast, there will be huge ego backlash.

Edited June 4, 2019 by CreamCat

[John Iverson]

On 6/2/2019 at 4:15 PM, Aeris said:

This topic résonate but you did a lot of psych tho.

Tell yourself that I was like you for this questions at 7 years old. Not easy to navigate when the whole world looks totaly asleep. Something has to be wrong with me having Infinite questions. Of course at 12 I was into complotism stuff esp with internet. Then I go sleep myself with vidéo games and shit for almost a décade 

Just giving a side to my experience about my own spirituality

You are getting the green very good.

keep your tools for inquiry sharp. 

Thanks for sharing! ☺️

[John Iverson]

16 hours ago, CreamCat said:

Psychedelics are known to change brain structure. The more you consume it, the more you will change.

It's best to not consume them too much too fast. If you do it too much too fast, there will be huge ego backlash.

I intake psychedelics whenever there is a feeling to take it.. i don't take it all the time, there is a rest period, the rest period is the day i don't want to take it.. it could be months.. but i always remember Leo said, for me to change atleast i took 30 psychedelics to 50.. but when i took weed the effect on me is somehow big, wew.. 

but thanks for reminding me, it could also help me and i could remind myself if i get too fast taking it..