Trip Report - a glimpse of the Absolute

[reves]

Hello there! I have been experimenting with 1P-LSD and recently managed to get some 4-AcO-DMT. I also started doing daily practices about a year ago of meditation and concentration and around January started with Kriya Yoga.

I have been feeling the power of the Kriya Yoga, since I started I have managed to meditate for longer periods and more clearly whereas before starting this practice I found it really hard to do.

But anyway, I made all the preparations and around 2 pm I dissolved 30~ mg (the scale has an error of +- 3 mg) of 4-AcO-DMT on water and drank it on an empty stomach. Around 10 min later I started to feel the effects so I sat down always trying to remain in a symmetrical position as Martin Ball explains in his many books. The visual effects start to come in and I start to see all this fractal patterns everywhere, during this moment I drink a ginger tea because the 4-AcO sometimes gives me nausea effects.

Almost every trip and specially at the beginning I feel really grateful for whatever it may come during the trip, and specially for having the opportunity to make this. It may be because of my religious background, I was raised as a catholic, but I am curious if any of you feel the same when you are tripping?

About an hour after taking the medicine I decided to lay-down because I started feel really cold. I tried to remain in an open position and symmetric all the time and suddenly my hands start to move like doing infinite loops. I found this so funny because I had the impression that I was not directly controlling the movements, very symmetrical.

I was in a very relaxed, meditative state, almost no monkey mind and I was asking questions like why sometimes I feel so disconnected from life? what is God? what is dead? All the time seeing these multi-dimensional, multi-color and formless fractals. At some point turn around and lay on the stomach, I then became very still and quiet and had no thoughts and then suddenly I get this insight, "forget to breath" and I felt as if my consciousness would elevate and merge with the Absolute, I felt its Infinity and Stillness so incredible and indestructible. I would then come and go into this non-dual state as I feel that the ego tries to regain control.

It was so overwhelming, until now I have not experienced something like that with the eyes wide open and so present. I cannot really say if I really stopped breathing and for how many time or if my breathing slowed-down but it really felt as if was not breathing, however a difference to some previous trips is that I was very present and conscious. I have never felt so complete, so much in peace, so fearless so loved in my life it was Awesome.

I didn't realized this at the moment it was happening and I remained on the bed like two hours completely shocked until the ego regained control and I started to understand what had just happened, I was like oh my god, what has just happened?! I then went into the kitchen to eat something and laughed and cried multiple times because my mind cannot simple wrap around the vastness of the Absolute.

Some Conclusions

I am still in the process of integrating and understanding what it was shown to me during the trip, but it hits me that every trip feels bigger and I get so see more and more complete.

I also go into the trips with thousands of questions but the Truth always reveals by itself. I have also began to understand the process of deconstruction/construction of the self and how the ego starts to take control back.

I also realized that I am very identified with thought and I have never considered that it could be another sense.

I can see that I have still a long way to go, but it certainly feels great to feel the progress of doing the practices everyday, it really motivates me to keep walking the path.

Questions

Maybe the more experienced can help me understand what was that I experienced. My guess is that I got in a higher access concentration ego-less state or perhaps a glimpse of what Samadhi can be.

Thanks a lot if you made it so far! I can only say that actualized.org and the teachings of @Leo Gura has helped me grow so much on the last year and I found this process every-time more exciting and interesting.

[ajasatya]

@reves Nice! Keep it up

Just be aware of the movement of the mind quickly trying to make sense of everything right after the mystical experience wears off. It may take a few months/years until the mind finally gives up and accepts the mystical nature of Reality. A deeeeep dive into the Unknown!

[Inliytened1]

@reves yes! It seemed like you got a good strong glimpse and you were touched by the Absolute.  Your ego half surrendered.

You were definitely on a different level of consciousness.   During these elevated level of consciousness you may have certain realizations - different facets of the Absolute may be revealed.

But even to be touched by God is profound.  You may find that hours or days later your consciousness will still be elevated.  In this elevated state its possible that you may hit a fully non-dual state and become conscious of certain Absolutes.  And it can happen out of nowhere.

But even if you don't and your consciousness comes back down you still will be higher than you were before.  Once you break thru you can breakthru again and deeper.  So this is a huge step in the path.  Once God has revealed himself that's when it really begins.

Edited May 31, 2019 by Inliytened1

[Leo Gura]

@reves Good. That was a glimpse of the Ox's tail. A nice samadhi experience.

It goes way deeper, so keep tripping keep exploring, keep questioning, keep trying to understand what Consciousness/God/Absolute/You are. Explore all the many facets of the Ox.

[Nahm]

@reves Awesome. Thanks!

[kieranperez]

Good stuff! 

Bi-lateral symmetry is so effective it’s really comical given how stupidly simple it is. 

Happy for you! ❤️

[fi1ghtclub]

Just got a few questions about the medicine.

Was it the fumarate or the freebase version?

And what's the best way to take it depending on the type?

[reves]

Thanks for the comments!

@ajasatya @Inliytened1 @Leo Gura Yes I guess it goes way deeper.

@kieranperez Yes it is so effective and so simple hehe, I really like it!