Overcoming deep ingrained fear of rejection?

[Yannik]

Hi there! 

Do you have any suggestions on how to overcome the fear of rejection ONCE AND FOR ALL? Or is it even possible?

I've had countless experiences in the past that reinforced my fear of rejection/fear of judgment and it is literally the only thing standing between me and my dreams. 

It's not that I don't love myself or anything similar but the fear of the negative emotion that is triggered automatically when rejection is happening or when I feel judged by others. It feels to me than putting my hands on a hot stove for 10 seconds straight.

What I've done so far:

• A lot of comfort zone challenges (but I am struggling to do even harder challenges – how can I really get myself to do them? The resistance is huge)
• A lot of shadow work
• Consciousness work, shrooms (Ayahuasca coming soon)
• Guided meditations and visualizations (mostly by Joe Dispenza)
• Working with a trauma coach

 

Do you have some mind-blowing books or any further suggestions about this topic? How do you deal with the moment right before you lean into the fear?

[ColdFacts]

I think you should not rely on other people to validate whatever you fear they won't. With this mindset you're coming from a place of scarcity and dependence, instead assume the worst or assume nothing good or bad from them and let your actions originate from a neutral intent or one where you only give and expect nothing. Do to this you'd have to have what you are seeking from other and this is why you are stuck on a loop. You have to find that thing in yourself and only expect to express it or give it to other people otherwise i think it will be hard to get out of it.

[AnTe]

@Yannik it helps when you realize and figure out why people judge and what exactly they're rejecting. they're doing it for personal comfort and not us, they're rejecting the part of themselves we happen to represent. we are mirrors for people and they are for us as well. we unintentionally show people what they lack in themselves because humans can't help but compare and take everything personal. things are only as personal as we make it by us identifying ourselves with people's words and actions, otherwise none of it would effect us. also, for people to actually see and know us they would first have to know themselves well enough to consciously see and establish where that fine line is where our reality ends and another begins. people aren't very self aware so often get mixed signals and messages, not being sure what's actually meant for who. 

[Yannik]

@ColdFacts Thank you! That is something that really stuck with me and you are absolutely right. My reason to express myself must be bigger than wanting everyone to approve me. That is what you are saying, right?

[Yannik]

@AnTe Thanks! Very helpful, and the funny thing is that I am aware of it when I judge others but I haven't thought about the fact that others only judge because of that reason as well