Envy Feeling Seeing Facebook Friends' Posts

[mathieu]

I have this feeling of envy whenever I saw my friends' pictures. (maybe others have this feeling too). seeing their achievements posted, their vacation pictures with family and friends, group hangouts, celebrations, selfies with their friends and girlfriends, or just random selfie at their nice place. I just feel envy. Maybe it feels to me they were boasting, showing too much pride. or is it just me? For me, it's really like that. But I want to explore this feeling of envy.

I am 22, M, I grew up introverted and socially awkward. Since I am fan of self improvement, I purchased Leo's life purpose course and started finding my life purpose, hoping that I could be my authentic self soon. I appreciate any insights about the issue on facebook. Thank you.

Edited April 25, 2016 by mathieu

[Man in the Mirror]

Have you seen this video talk about "Facebook Ego" by Eckhart Tolle? it's only two minutes long and might provide another perspective for you.

 

 

[Saarah]

@mathieu Ive had that feeling before where I've felt other people have progressed so much and I'm not getting anywhere far in life or I don't have as much fun in my life

This is due to the problem of social comparison and Leo has a video Stop comparing yourself to others

Its about how human beings are so complex and non-simplistic that it's impossible to compare us, with different people having different circumstances etc 

 

[Jon Snow]

@mathieu This is due to the feeling of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Most people have to do deal with it.

You need to understand that people have happy moments as well as sad/depressing ones. And only the happiest of those experiences are shared on facebook. As @Saarah correctly pointed out that we start comparing those moments to the low points of our lives which we should clearly stop doing. 

Also, if you are not happy with the way your life is right now, probably you think you are boring or any other issue, then start working on that. Find new hobbies, go out interact with more people, read books, listen to music, hit the gym. Investment in oneself is the most important investment ever. 

 

[ChimpBrain]

Facebook was one of the first things I realized I had to cut out. Within like a week of starting to watch Leo's videos and meditating I realized exactly what you said, I just bounced from envy to self judgment to regret to judging others, etc. on there. Obviously it'd be best if I could correct the core issues within myself that cause these negative thoughts rather than just avoid the source, but until I get a better grip on it I thought it best to cut it off altogether. 

[Rodrigo]

@mathieu I dont have a facebook account and avoid conversations about it like the plague.Also couldnt care less about other people real lives let alone their imaginary lives.

[mathieu]

@Man in the Mirror Wow! Thank you so much for sharing that video! I couldnt agree more about what Eckhart Tolle is saying. We really need to let go of our delusory identity, and you can be who you are w/o needing to interpret to yourself or to others.. also you try to polish yourself like to compete with that image you saw on facebook. and then, you will end up on becoming an artificial construct. Those lines by Eckhart was amazing. That is what exactly I've felt. If facebook was used "that" way, it really makes yourself worse.

@Saarah thank you Sarah for sharing that. I will watch that video of Leo later. and @Jon Snow I was blown, you pointed out the real issue, FOMO (fear of missing out). it's new to me. that fear made me stop from seeing my facebook timeline because sometimes I might be surprised like "Oh, they are travelling there" "oh they've got new relationships" while myself is really missing out. It was like I really need to conform, because they do. But I am so lucky to have this awareness and have these people like Leo and like you who would help improving ourselves.

Edited April 26, 2016 by mathieu

[mathieu]

@ChimpBrain you were right, the core issues must be resolved first. not just by avoiding the issue. and that makes real growth vs. fake growth.

@Rodrigoit was also a struggle for me to care less about what other people think of me. Leo's process of finding life purpose as well as finding your authentic self was like a complete package to solve core issues!