Has anyone managed to observe what they do for survival reasons without judging?

[mandyjw]

The other night I gave my kid a hug and asked myself if I was doing it out of survival reasons. "Yeah, loving my kid is survival." Immediately I felt a bit sick. "Why am I even asking this question? I should be able to show love to my child without question!"  "Because you want to be spiritual, you want to follow Leo's advice and be a part of the community on the forum, you want to rise above a need to survive." That made me feel sick too. 

Both times when I asked myself the question, even turning the question back in on itself, was FULL of judgement about survival being a "bad" thing. It's like I want to survive as something other than myself because who I am is not good enough. 

Focusing on what I DON'T like is survival. I don't like people who look creepy, I don't like the political party that hurts my community, etc. 

Do we not love ourselves enough to believe that we are worthy of life?

[Norbert Lennartz]

No, initiating love has nothing to do with it. The bond is decisive. You cooperate with your child. This demands love and forms of love. The champs of "good government" also claim that love and dignity is sooooo important and "promise" that in their funny state constitutions. But the relationship is not cooperative, not real. It's lip service. Nothing results from that. And that is already the best case. The party can still say how honest it is. It is not cooperative. And that makes them loveless.

Edited May 29, 2019 by Norbert Lennartz

[Truth Addict]

3 hours ago, mandyjw said:

"Because you want to be spiritual, you want to follow Leo's advice away and be a part of the community on the forum, you want to rise above a need to survive."

Lose that spiritual identity! Throw it in the trash!

What do you want Mandy? Seriously, ask yourself: what do I want? I'm pretty sure the answer is: I want to feel good.

Your spiritual identity is blocking you from feeling good. Why do you want to be spiritual? Whatever makes you feel bad is an illusion.

Edited May 29, 2019 by Truth Addict

[Leo Gura]

Worth and worthiness is a measure of survival.

[mandyjw]

AHHHHHH!!!!! My name means "worthy of love" and I've always hated it. 

I don't want to be a nameless being. Or maybe I do. 

[Leo Gura]

@mandyjw You cannot be worthy of love because love requires no worth. True love is unconditional.

[mandyjw]

@Leo Gura So says the guy I've been listening to for years so I can be worthy of the world's love. I am the punchline of a cosmic joke. Are you laughing?

I just went for a walk in the woods and saw a 6 on a tree just like your 666 on your wall in the video I watched today. I thought it was a spiral when I first saw it but it's actually a 6. 

[tedens]

@mandyjw worthy love=devilry

[now is forever]

@Leo Gura can you please erase all content i ever posted. i tried to do it manually but i get headaches and i realize it’s better if you would do it. do i need to give up my account then, too? it’s a little bit scary.

i just post it here because mandy will understand. it’s not about the topic.

you know that @mandyjw don’t you - it’s not about worth! a person does not have a price. if you struggle with giving all the love you could give at the moment it might be because you are struggling with some other values right now. same goes for feeling unworthy.

Edited May 29, 2019 by now is forever

[whoareyou]

5 hours ago, Truth Addict said:

Lose that spiritual identity! Throw it in the trash!

What do you want Mandy? Seriously, ask yourself: what do I want? I'm pretty sure the answer is: I want to feel good.

Your spiritual identity is blocking you from feeling good. Why do you want to be spiritual? Whatever makes you feel bad is an illusion.

@mandyjw @Truth Addict This +1000, could not have said it any better.

[mandyjw]

@now is forever You're one of the only ones who mutually understands how to converse nondualy and now you're lraving. This happened too quick and I keep feeling crazy. Everyone I interact with is my higher self or a shadow mirror or both. Please don't leave. We all need to learn to reconcile the dualities of in person connection and real life and our online connections. It's too late to choose one or the other. 

[now is forever]

33 minutes ago, mandyjw said:

@now is forever You're one of the only ones who mutually understands how to converse nondualy and now you're lraving. This happened too quick and I keep feeling crazy. Everyone I interact with is my higher self or a shadow mirror or both. Please don't leave. We all need to learn to reconcile the dualities of in person connection and real life and our online connections. It's too late to choose one or the other. 

my online life is heavily interfering with my real life. there is also a bunch of work coming into my direction. and i can’t go on like this. it’s not healthy anymore. not for me and not for the people in my sourounding. it’s hard for me, too, but it’s overdue. these eruptions like with joseph have to happen - we all start to fall asleep here at some point if we don’t leave at the right time. don’t miss that point mandy! we all start to get eaten by the nothing after some time. depending on what we came with or came for. 

[Brenzo2]

2 hours ago, mandyjw said:

@Leo Gura So says the guy I've been listening to for years so I can be worthy of the world's love. I am the punchline of a cosmic joke. Are you laughing?

I just went for a walk in the woods and saw a 6 on a tree just like your 666 on your wall in the video I watched today. I thought it was a spiral when I first saw it but it's actually a 6. 

Oh! Oh! Oh! I know this one! You applying significance to the number 666, that's survival. 

[Leo Gura]

2 hours ago, mandyjw said:

I thought it was a spiral when I first saw it but it's actually a 6.

If you say so.

[now is forever]

3 minutes ago, Brenzo2 said:

Oh! Oh! Oh! I know this one! You applying significance to the number 666, that's survival. 

he said nothing is random... it’s all by design. ?got ya

[now is forever]

@mandyjw maybe it’s both. 

[Brenzo2]

9 minutes ago, now is forever said:

he said nothing is random... it’s all by design. ?got ya

You mean just like that perspective and / or interpretation? ? Got ya back! ?

If everything is survival does that also include the self-referential aspect of pursuing and understanding in survival also being in my interests of survival. 

If I can understand what I am doing and why, I should be able to do it better. Would I be able to help doing it better? How is it possible to liberate myself from survival if each word formulated before you this very moment is orientated toward self survival?

Edited May 29, 2019 by Brenzo2

[now is forever]

@Brenzo2 as nothing is random it could be by random design ?

i think he ignores me. i can’t do that with him though...

Edited May 29, 2019 by now is forever

[Shadowraix]

The pursuit of spiritual knowledge often means straying away from your usual egoic desires. This can often create an association of them being seen as bad. Since spirituality is seen as superior. It takes a lot of awareness to not demonize egoic desires. All a part of the journey though. 

Craft the life you want. No matter what you do, ego is going to be involved to some degree. It's part of being human. But you can be aware of when you are acting with ego. ?

[mandyjw]

 

@now is forever Jesus told him, "Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God."

I'm not giving up. I've never been able to give up on what I love. I have to learn to balance and integrate it with my real life. I will and I am. 

I don't have to support myself, I already paid off my house and I can be a housewife if I want. It would be easy just to give up and be the well balanced highly effective yet isolated person I was before. This is going to hurt like hell, but it's also what I really really want. It's what God wants and I owe him something still.

When my mission is done and my purpose is fulfilled I can leave.