Huge Wall In The Path

[molosku]

23 hours ago, luismatos said:

 I have been to a Vipassana Retreat but was asked to leave after a big emotional release in day-6.

What happened? Must have been pretty disruptive one if you got sent out

[WelcometoReality]

On 2019-05-28 at 11:44 AM, luismatos said:

@Jed Vassallo I've done 5-MeO once with a Shaman. Had an awakening experience.

@Leo Gura

I don't like to complain, but I must say that it has been extra-hard for me to get into intimate relationships. I tend to isolate myself from other people, and lose interest in friendships and socialization. At the same time, I crave for intimate and meaningful relationships. 3 years ago I started reading PUA and trying their techniques. I ended up with a few hookups but realized afterwards how artificial and false these relationships were. Now, when I start talking with some girl, the energy just wears off after some time and I lose interest and isolate myself. I've accepted this karma, and tried heavily to dissolve it with Sadhana. I am now trying Psychoanalysis. What am I not seeing? What am I missing?  

It sounds like you have an avoidant way of attaching. You can read more about it here: https://www.psychalive.org/anxious-avoidant-attachment/

You can also find ways to transform it to a more secure way of attaching there.

[Elisabeth]

@luismatos To me it sounds like you could benefit from a) more life experience (yes, including relationships, but not limited to them), possibly leading to life purpose work, and b) western psychotherapy or other techniques aimed at emotional healing and self-acceptance. You're doing advanced spirituality, but your more basic levels of Maslow's pyramid aren't there, including a sense of belonging.

It's hard to go after divine love if you hate yourself.

Edited May 29, 2019 by Elisabeth

[luismatos]

@Leo Gura I don't want to become a celibate monk. The point is I want intimacy in my life, but I'm somehow blocked to it. What tool should I employ here?