Houston we have a Male problem

[arlin]

1 minute ago, d0ornokey said:

@arlin idk man there are tons of handicaps, disfigured, ugly people with good relationships 

Yes. people often talk about how they see ugly guys with hot girls and fantasties like those.

When i tell them where are they? I get no responses. 

Admit that you don't actually know those people, you just heard about them  

[d0ornokey]

@arlin

I dont want to call them ugly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder 

But heres one at the top of my head 

Cut has a new video with a dating coach in a wheelchair. Not ugly, but handicapped 

Steven hawking 

Leo mentioned that one of the best people he knows who games is a 5'4 guy 

Im sure theres countless examples, you just need to search 

Also consider that a lot of these people have much lower self esteem and create negative self fulfilling prophecies when it comes to relationships 

I believe relationships are much more than looks and i believe it depends more on the persons interests and level of consciousness. Yeah theyre probably going to have a harder time but it also carves for the people who are looking for other things besides looks 

 

Edited May 28, 2019 by d0ornokey

[arlin]

1 minute ago, d0ornokey said:

Im sure theres countless examples, you just need to search

Thanks for the encouragement!

2 minutes ago, d0ornokey said:

Leo mentioned that one of the best people he knows who games is a 5'4 guy 

Yes i hear examples like that sometimes...

 

2 minutes ago, d0ornokey said:

Also consider that a lot of these people have much lower self esteem and create negative self fulfilling prophecies when it comes to relationships 

I am aware of this very well, thanks for the reminder though  

 

6 minutes ago, d0ornokey said:

I believe relationships are much more than looks and i believe it depends more on the persons interests and level of consciousness. Yeah theyre probably going to have a harder time but it also carves for the people who are looking for other things besides looks 

Ultimaltely i studied pick up for a year now. I probably know more than you. I know soo much about dating. But i don't give a shit anymore. I  am working on releasing emotional trauma from the past and my past relationship. Which was a fkin huge miserable failure.

I want to feel fulfilled without needing a single girl in my life. This is what i am working towards.

In the end, if i find a girl fine. If i don't, fine. I will be happy anyway.

 

Thanks you all for the encouragement, i appreciate it  

[Zigzag Idiot]

2 hours ago, Inliytened1 said:

@Zigzag Idiot yeah and that might happen here but a lot of it is Materialists feeling threatened and imploding.   By the same token the Truth cannot be spoken but at the same it must be spoken.  That said one should only offer council to those who want it.  Pushing Truth on anyone will only cause the snake to eat his own tail.  So we all have to be more conscious here.

✌️

[ThermalTide]

Perhaps this comes down to the fundamentals of the differences between men and women- I would say men are more interested (generally) in things like success, dominance, strength, mastery, etc. The information being circulated on this platform panders to people seeking those kinds of qualities to develop within themselves, so it makes sense that the participants here are mostly male. 

[Bill W]

To be honest I feel like I've got off lightly with starting this thread. The tongue in cheek nature of some of my original post is something I want to be mindful of. One persons tongue in cheek throwaway comment can be another persons trigger. Flippant and similar terms to flippant could have been thrown my way and I wouldn't really have had a right to gripe about that.

I actually do think it would be healthier to have a better gender mix. However if you asked me to really justify and defend this position I might not be able to do it well. That's me being genuine here. I just find in my experience a diversity mix can promote inclusion better. But the forum isn't here to work around my little designs and plans. I guess Leo has it in mind what this place does and does not offer and it's for us to decide individually if it has something for us or not. For me it does. Totally. 

However. Honest disclosure. A lot of these masculine goals and some of the other goals some men are looking for here don't interest me so I'm bound to a bit more sensitive to the fact it's Male heavy here. I don't want to be seen as shitting on other people's outlook. I really don't. 

By the way, I make no claims for being better than anyone else who has different goals to me. 

Yeh, so I'm not going to defend anything too rigorously in terms of my position as I'm genuinely open to guidance, feedback etc.

If I move away from humility and openmindedness I try to check myself. There will be errors along the way! I'll never claim to be knowing exactly what I am doing.

Peace all and thanks for the replies and comments.

 

[flume]

@arlin @jbram2002  As far as I’m concerned, I don’t think you can separate looks and personality so easily. How you feel and think about the world and yourself reflects in the tone of your voice, your posture, if you make eye contact or not.

Your outside reflects your inside. Not in what colour your hair is, but in the way you carry yourself. Nothing comes ‘first’. And even if, good looks might give you a slight advantage, but you can’t hide being boring, arrogant or a macho for long. I like to believe woman pick up on that in no time. Probably men do too. 

Also, we make out our mind about someone in a matter of milliseconds anyway. You can’t go about attraction ‘the wrong way’. It’s nothing you ‘decide’.

(My theory, not truth)

 

5 hours ago, Shin said:

You may loved her unconditionally, but you wouldn't be in a relationship.

Well said! :-)

 

Edited May 28, 2019 by flume

[outlandish]

Wow this thread was really going off the rails, I'm impressed to see that it's swung back on track.

Yeah I really notice the heavy male presence on this forum too, and am a bit uncomfortable at times with the overbearing sausage fest on certain topics. I'd love to see us men leave a bit more space in the discussion for women, but not sure if there's practically any way to encourage or nudge that behaviour, aside from bringing it up from time to time in threads like this.

It's always really nice to hear the ladies' voices on here.

[Leo Gura]

8 hours ago, CreamCat said:

It's not just MGTOW/Incel/RedPill that need love. Feminists also need love. From my vantage point, lots of feminists seem to do things out of anger and hurt, not out of love. MGTOW, feminists, RedPill. They are the same. They are hurt. They whine. They are not in love.

To many women, feminism can be the female version of incel or MGTOW.

Do not equate feminism with Red Pill or incels. Feminists are much more evolved.

You speak of feminism yet you've never actually studied it.

[Shadowraix]

19 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Do not equate feminism with Red Pill or incels. Feminists are much more evolved.

You speak of feminism yet you've never actually studied it.

Hes Probably thinking about the radical sjws who almost always happen to identify as feminist. 

Edited May 28, 2019 by Shadowraix

[arlin]

2 hours ago, flume said:

Your outside reflects your inside. Not in what colour your hair is, but in the way you carry yourself. Nothing comes ‘first’. And even if, good looks might give you a slight advantage, but you can’t hide being boring, arrogant or a macho for long. I like to believe woman pick up on that in no time. Probably men do too.

Do you think i have not thought those things for myself? I have studied dating coaches for 1 year now, wasted my time.

The looks being a "slight advantage" is fantasy. It's responsible for sexual attraction. And, when it comes down to whether looks matter or don't, people always says "Looks are useless if you are arrogant". Well of course it is. If you are good looking but arrogant girls don't flock to you.

How about those guys who like to improve themselves and give their heart and soul and develop humor and social skills, but don't get laid because of their looks? What about those guys?

Let's talk about those!

If you are good looking and have a shitty attitude or personality you can work on that and get amazing result. 

A fkin incel can develop an even more fantastic personality but he will never get those results. Only in his dreams.

[arlin]

2 hours ago, Winter said:

Interesting. Can you see why you feel the desire to express this? Don't answer me, answer yourself.

Should i even take you seriously?

[Truth Addict]

As simple as it sounds.

When you know yourself, you will know others.

(post not directed at anyone per se)

[flowboy]

There is actually no problem. This forum is what it is. It attracts the people that it does.

That said, maybe we could make a rule that a posted thread has to be constructive and can't just be about blaming groups of people for your shit?

[arlin]

@flowboy  If somebody is not interested simply does not reply.

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Shadowraix said:

Hes Probably thinking about the radical sjws who almost always happen to identify as feminist. 

He is thinking about the cartoon caricature that people like JP and the right-wing have made out of feminism.

[Shadowraix]

Just now, Leo Gura said:

He is thinking about the cartoon caricature that people like JP and the right-wing have made out of feminism.

I see. Thanks!

[Surfingthewave]

There are so many assumptions about gender in this thread my eyes nearly popped out my head. I'm not sure how relevant this is to self improvement really but looking at how this thread has gone down, maybe this needs to be explored more?

If we are coming from a more non dual paradigm on this forum then reflecting on the assumptions we make (non just about gender) is much needed when voicing our opinions, but also about relationships & identity and how this all relates back to ego. 

[Leo Gura]

Here's a meta-thing for you guys to notice:

All your opinions about gender are a function of your survival. Because gender is central to your identity. None of these opinions have anything to do with truth or reality, but rather about self-definition. Notice that.

Gender is one of those hot-button issues like religion or politics because it's so central to one's fabricated identity. The more fabricated a thing is, the more it must be defended, argued, and justified.

Your opinions will be precisely whatever helps you survive and get your needs met. That's what opinions are!

[ColdFacts]

24 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Here's a meta-thing for you guys to notice:

All your opinions about gender are a function of your survival. Because gender is central to your identity. None of these opinions have anything to do with truth or reality, but rather about self-definition. Notice that.

Gender is one of those hot-button issues like religion or politics because it's so central to one's fabricated identity. The more fabricated a thing is, the more it must be defended, argued, and justified.

Your opinions will be precisely whatever helps you survive and get your needs met. That's what opinions are!

What if such needs for survival stumble upon a experience which can stay true even against logic and common sense, would they misuse it just for survival?

EDIT: you are right that you should not feed the devil attention.

Edited May 28, 2019 by ColdFacts