Houston we have a Male problem

[jbram2002]

It's interesting how many people here are so caught up on the appearances of a woman. Love them for who they are, not what they look like. If she happens to be beautiful, all the better.

It should not be the top priority. 

Especially here where people claim to be awakened or enlightened. Are you all so blind that you only see with your eyes? Are you truly unable to comprehend the beauty of a soul? Bodies change and wither. A "hot girl" at 20 years old will be a shriveled mass of wrinkles at 60 or 70. If all you're interested in is her body, you will lose interest a few years in. If you love her for her soul, you will love her forever.

If you're having trouble landing "the hot girl," you are probably going about it all the wrong way. Get to know someone before even considering dating. Be a friend first. Pick up lines and bar crawls might get you a one night stand if you are lucky, but that's not going to last 99% of the time. Sex should not be your primary criteria when looking for a life partner. 

This is advise I have to give to the most closeminded people I know. I'm surprised no male here has said it yet.

[tsuki]

14 minutes ago, arlin said:

It's disgusting. There is no solution to that. You are fooling yourself.

The solution is: stop obsessing about having sex. Give that shit up.
Are you involuntarily celibate? Start being voluntarily celibate and reap the benefits.
Still your monkey mind that keeps bringing your failures up, start meditating regularly.
Focus on things that will serve you 15 years from now instead of focusing on what has been happening for the past 15 years.
When you're successful and happy, girls will find their way into your bedroom if that's what you want.

14 minutes ago, arlin said:

It's alright, as i said, this is something i have to go through on my own, i don't want to explain the whole story to you,it would be too much...

But thank you for replying and for trying to understand.

I'm glad that you've calmed down a little. You will get through this whether you like it or not.

Edited May 28, 2019 by tsuki

[Sine]

I'm woman and got introduced to Leo from my male friend. For a long time I really hated Leos videos, his voice, I thought he seemed really egocentric, cold-hearted and rude and so on. In his meditation video when he says "stop carring about anything" I got so pissed I couldn't continue.. But I don't know why but it started to change, I love his guided meditation now and have it on my phone.. I just signed up for Vipassana retreat and I don't think I would have done that without all the stuff Leo has thought me. Today I see he really was a gift at that point in my life, and excactly what I needed to move past my green-hippie state   

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, jbram2002 said:

It's interesting how many people here are so caught up on the appearances of a woman. Love them for who they are, not what they look like. If she happens to be beautiful, all the better.

It should not be the top priority. 

Especially here where people claim to be awakened or enlightened. Are you all so blind that you only see with your eyes? Are you truly unable to comprehend the beauty of a soul? Bodies change and wither. A "hot girl" at 20 years old will be a shriveled mass of wrinkles at 60 or 70. If all you're interested in is her body, you will lose interest a few years in. If you love her for her soul, you will love her forever.

If you're having trouble landing "the hot girl," you are probably going about it all the wrong way. Get to know someone before even considering dating. Be a friend first. Pick up lines and bar crawls might get you a one night stand if you are lucky, but that's not going to last 99% of the time. Sex should not be your primary criteria when looking for a life partner. 

This is advise I have to give to the most closeminded people I know. I'm surprised no male here has said it yet.

You wouldn't be with Mandy if you didn't find her attractive.

You may loved her unconditionally, but you wouldn't be in a relationship.

There needs to be a physical attraction from the guy to consider a relationship/sex, it's a biological need.

The same need is there for a woman except it is about confidence and leadership abilities, again for biological reasons.

This is just a fact, look around you and tell me how many masculine men are with a woman that is lower on the scale of beauty than them ?

Very very few.

[arlin]

16 minutes ago, tsuki said:

The solution is: stop obsessing about having sex. Give that shit up.

No, it's not about an egoic desire to have sex with an object.

Im talking about meaningful experiences. Making love.  

Im not talking about being shallow here, if i was talking about this, i would have worked through it more easily.

When she wonders if she can have a guy with the same personality but good looking, that ruins everything. You can't make her feel special. You see, she is not lucky being with you. Of course you are with her, you don't have other choices when you are ugly.

If you try it with a girl who is less attractive then you, or even a lookmatch, you would not feel those feelings of passion in the first place. It's something out of your control. 

Im not saying you can't love someone who you don't find attractive. But:

Sex is not a shallow thing. It is something that i deep and meaningful in a relationship. This is a definition that you have attributed to sex to deal with pain.

Don't rush into thinking that i am a victim of my mind. And i only want hot women or something like that.

I am a very loving being who want to connect with people and share meaningful experiences.

Edited May 28, 2019 by arlin

[tsuki]

2 minutes ago, arlin said:

I am a very loving being who want to connect with people and share meaningful experiences.

...and that story is what makes you suffer. 

Like I said in the beginning: only your own suffering can cure you.
You just haven't suffered enough to give up. Don't worry, you will get there. You're on the right track.

[arlin]

1 minute ago, tsuki said:

...and that story is what makes you suffer. 

Like I said in the beginning: only your own suffering can cure you.
You just haven't suffered enough to give up. Don't worry, you will get there. You're on the right track.

I want to give up. I just can't...

im tired of this shit.

[jbram2002]

10 minutes ago, Shin said:

You wouldn't be with Mandy if you didn't find her attractive.

You may loved her unconditionally, but you wouldn't be in a relationship.

There needs to be a physical attraction from the guy to consider a relationship/sex, it's a biological need.

The same need is there for a woman except it is about confidence and leadership abilities, again for biological reasons.

This is just a fact, look around you and tell me how many masculine men are with a woman that is lower on the scale of beauty than them ?

Very very few.

You are right. I find her very attractive. Her soul is amazing. Her body is a plus, but it's not her.

[tsuki]

1 minute ago, jbram2002 said:

You are right. I find her very attractive. Her soul is amazing. Her body is a plus, but it's not her.

Hahahaha

[jbram2002]

@arlin It's very difficult. I understand. I'm certainly not the most attractive guy out there. 

But part of opening yourself up and improving yourself is trying to be open to the advice given. Tsuki is giving you some very difficult truths. I recommend working hard to put aside your own point of view for a moment, your own preconceived notions about Tsuki or women, and being open to the advice. For a moment, assume it is absolute truth, then examine your life from that perspective.

[Shin]

@tsuki

Everything in this sentence is so wrong ?

But he can't admit it without being slapped tonight ???

Edited May 28, 2019 by Shin

[arlin]

Just now, jbram2002 said:

@arlin It's very difficult. I understand. I'm certainly not the most attractive guy out there. 

But part of opening yourself up and improving yourself is trying to be open to the advice given. Tsuki is giving you some very difficult truths. I recommend working hard to put aside your own point of view for a moment, your own preconceived notions about Tsuki or women, and being open to the advice. For a moment, assume it is absolute truth, then examine your life from that perspective.

I am very open minded. More than you think.

I have already considered this point of view for myself.

Now that somebody else is talking about it, this makes it more interesting.

[arlin]

7 minutes ago, jbram2002 said:

You are right. I find her very attractive. Her soul is amazing. Her body is a plus, but it's not her.

I have felt that way too. 

Why it's @tsuki laughing about it?

[tsuki]

Just now, arlin said:

Why it's @tsuki laughing about it?

You're both incurable romantics.
There is a reason why romantic love stories end in death of tuberculosis instead of 'they lived happily ever after'.

[arlin]

2 minutes ago, tsuki said:

You're both incurable romantics.
There is a reason why romantic love stories end in death of tuberculosis instead of 'they lived happily ever after'.

Allright, you seem to know something about this.

Can you help me? Or have you already told everything you had to?

[mandyjw]

@tsuki

 

[tsuki]

1 minute ago, arlin said:

Can you help me? Or have you already told everything you had to?

I want to help you because I can see myself in you. I want to spare you my own suffering.
Still, I know that I wouldn't have listened to myself when I was your age.

Just please take good care of yourself. Love yourself. Don't make yourself suffer any more than you absolutely have to.

[jbram2002]

@tsuki Romance isn't a dead concept. I would recommend rekindling it in your own life if you think it is. Your wife may appreciate it.

[arlin]

2 minutes ago, tsuki said:

I want to help you because I can see myself in you. I want to spare you my own suffering.
Still, I know that I wouldn't have listened to myself when I was your age.

Im open to that... can you please help me?

2 minutes ago, tsuki said:

Just please take good care of yourself. Love yourself. Don't make yourself suffer any more than you absolutely have to.

Yes i want to, im in the process of releasing emotions right now and eventually i will increase my self confidence and love.

[tsuki]

2 minutes ago, jbram2002 said:

@tsuki Romance isn't a dead concept. I would recommend rekindling it in your own life if you think it is. Your wife may appreciate it.

Oh yeah. She absolutely loves and yearns it.
I'm just not too fond of the Titanic sinking in the background, that's all.