Can someone hit me with advice?

[Mada_]

So last night it was my friend's 18th, i rocked up around 7pm and was enjoying myself. 

I said hi to some people and was sitting around, tending to a fire pit, and it just dawned on me that everyone who was drinking and smoking was destroying their potential. Like it just made me so upset that they were doing so, it triggered me almost to the point of crying. 

My friends were planning to go to a nightclub afterwards, but i was going to head home and do some yoga and self-inquiry. And understandably they wanted to know why i wasn't coming out, they offered me money and all of their condolences to try to convince me, but for some reason the prospect barely dawned on me, like i didn't even question myself, my mind was totally blank and i just watched them speak, whilst my body held tention. 

Then i said "what exactly do you all want out of life", one girl said "death", my brother said "fulfillment", my friend said fulfillment also and i think my other friend said "happiness". So i said "well i want depth out of mine, and going out to town seems to me that it would totally detriment what i want out of my whole life, so that's why I'm not going". Which was met with a back and forth of "what, I don't see that, you can leave straight away if you don't like it, it's just like this party but more lights lol" which i guess they had a point about, but like it does go against my values of consciousness and prosperity, but then only symbolically in a sense, as they are right in the fact that I get to choose how i interact in that environment. 

 

Walking home i was just holding so much tension and I didn't know why, it's like i was so closed minded to what they were saying that my heart literally closed over. But it dawned on me that these conditions to conduct enlightenment work are all assumptions, and counter-intuitively going to a night club possibly would remove the stick from my ass. And it was my friends birthday, and i told her before that i would only go out for her birthday, but i went back on it by saying it went against my values.

In conclusion, I'm fearful of my culture, but I'm also fearful of how I often selfishly interact with my culture, and i don't know how or if i can get over myself - haha but a chance I'm more than willing to take. 

[How to be wise]

@Mada_ The Work of Byron Katie.

[sgn]

@How to be wise U sure?

[How to be wise]

@sgn It worked very well for me. Over twenty non-dual experiences in less than two years.

[sgn]

@How to be wise Just kidding. Wow 

I'll contact you in the future when I'm getting into it again so you can mentor me

Edited May 26, 2019 by sgn

[Rigel]

You could go out anyway. Don't drink just try to understand why you hate this environnement so much. Observe your social reactions and ask yourself why you act in the way you act. How could you be more authentique? There's enormous growth to be had by walking straight toward what you fear.

Being more conscious doesn't just happen when you're on the cushion. It is your whole life.

Also try to see the beauty in these behaviours. Everybody is at a different place on their journey and it's beautiful.❤️ The only reason you don't see beauty is because you judge.

[d0ornokey]

I've found that it's okay to have fun at nightclubs sometimes. Sometimes I really can have a stick up my ass by being too neurotic with my ideals. But like, deep down I want to have fun and party. It's a great outlet. I would enjoy it if I was you

Don't forget the big picture, but also remember to have fun with life! It's okay to drink and party. I prefer to not to do things out of consciousness and wisdom rather than just place a bunch of rules on how my life "should be" or "must be"  

There's a downside for being too productive and only focusing on goals. You can forget the beauty of life, the people around you and your values

But sometimes you need to be. 

Edited May 26, 2019 by d0ornokey

[Mada_]

@Rigel @sgn @d0ornokey @How to be wise

Thankyou very much for your replies, your words have been very helpful. 

❤❤ 

[Commodent]

I hate going to nightclubs, so I generally avoid it. It's the lowest of the low of our human society. It's not even a good place to meet new people, as the music is extremely loud and it's impossible to make meaningful conversations.

No, I generally aspire to go to places where I actually want to go. Like a meditation group or BJJ group or something. It's so much more enjoyable, and it's a great place to make friends who share similar values.

However, if you actually want to go but is too fearful to go it might be wise to follow your wish and not your fear (within tolerable levels of course).