My job is damaging my psycholical health

[Moreira]

Las thurday i had a har anxiety-attack at work. It was a very stressful week with lot of challenges, I took a coffe after dinner and all the afternoon I was dizzy, with hedache, nausea, my heart was racing and a lot of heat. When I arrived home vomited and had to take ibuprofen and go to bed.

I work as a CNC mill, its creating complex metal pieces with computer and the execute it.

I just studied a course of analogic milling and my friend said to me, come to where I work, dont worry about CNC I will show you.

The first monthes he teached me, but now a year ago when I ask for help to him for some difficult things he asks me rude and say you should know it, and always with bad manners.

I have a really bad time at work, nothing works fine, the machine break down and ask for help, and instead of helping me my friend give me a notepad with some instructions which obviously look like chinese to me.

While current people go to work, I dont go to work, I go to fight against problems that exceed my level and this is draining me and making me sad.

I dont contemplate suicide because Im actualized enough to be grateful and value life, but I actually hate my life.

I win lot of money but its costing my health and happiness. last day I was gonna give up. sometimes I think Id be better in a shitty job like mdonadls or cleaning earning half the salary but with zero problems and responsabilities.

Some advice will be appreciated.

I dont give the job because I dont have anything.

[Nahm]

@Moreira 

What do you really actually want, which to you is honestly doable / possible - within your realm of realistic for you?

How specifically do you know this ‘what you want’, and how often & how deeply are you envisioning it / fantasizing it / seeing positively about it ?  Have you made a dream board which you are taking time each day to tend to? Are you infusing your dream with the manifesting power of your word? 

I’m asking from a perspective of if you establish what you really want, and create that dream within you, and infuse it with love & passion, it will materialize over time. You will shed delusioned emotions along that path. It starts with your dream / vision. That is your map. Then you proceed, And overcome all adversity. 

 

Some considerations with regards to the inquires above....

How is your psychology with money & happiness?  Which do you value? Which do you really want, really need? How to transition. 

How much do you need to make while you get momentum going in the direction of something you want to be doing?

Are you diverse in understanding how resistant thinking drains energy?  Do you listen to your emotions always, or do you often continue thinking in a manor which does not feel good?   Two people could do the same work, same hours, side by side, and one can be exhausted at the end of each day while the other has plenty of energy to do many other things. One’s vision for one’s life, and the undergoing of it, make all the difference in energy.

The smallest step - simply writing what you want on a post it note and putting it where you see it daily, can begin to change everything. Consider the energy of someone working aimlessly & hopelessly at any job they don’t like, assuming they’ll probably “do this” until they’re old - in comparison with someone working at that very same job, but with a vision, taking small steps towards that vision each day, seeing the job as the means which is making their vision become a reality. Such as saving dream seed money, learning how to inspire people, observing & digesting what behaviors managers employ; which motivates and which demotivates, etc. 

Simply put, practicality landed you there, and you’ve outgrown that. Clearly you have more desire. The very first step is stating that it is possible. Then being attentive to what you have been inattentive to. 

 

[ajasatya]

@Moreira To me, it seems that your problem lies in your relationships with your colleagues. Have you looked for online courses on CNC machines to actually be good with them regardless of what your "friend" said that he would teach you?

[Moreira]

Nahm and Ajasatya, I know what I want in life and what I dont want. My top values in life are freedom and self-sustainability, thats why my vision is a life in harmony with nature, growing foods from nature, and I'm glad that I'm not alone and every time more people has similar ideas. Something like this:

For me that job is just a procedure, a tool to reach to the life I want. I just need the money to make my vision real. I dont want to be CNC miller all my life, in fact I hate it, I though I could do the sacrifice for some 5-10 years untill I save money, but now I think by that time maybe I'll get ill, got some cancer or something as far as stress, desperation and sadness can make you very sick.

[Hello from Russia]

24 minutes ago, Moreira said:

Nahm and Ajasatya, I know what I want in life and what I dont want. My top values in life are freedom and self-sustainability, thats why my vision is a life in harmony with nature, growing foods from nature, and I'm glad that I'm not alone and every time more people has similar ideas. Something like this:

For me that job is just a procedure, a tool to reach to the life I want. I just need the money to make my vision real. I dont want to be CNC miller all my life, in fact I hate it, I though I could do the sacrifice for some 5-10 years untill I save money, but now I think by that time maybe I'll get ill, got some cancer or something as far as stress, desperation and sadness can make you very sick.

Why don't you build a decent transitinal career\business that yo actually enjoy doing while building up to  your purpose? You don't have to work in a factory for 10 years, of course that's soul sucking. I know money can be good in comparisson to the general population, but it is still uncomparable of how much you could make if you started your programming\design\advertisement\art\computer graphics agency\studio or simillar things like that and be serious about it