Will spiritual practices heal my shyness/anxiety?

[flowboy]

@billiesimon  I would make it a priority to heal that wound, then, that came to be around that age.

I just came back from a week of Primal Childhood Deconditioning and I feel reborn.

If you are willing to invest in the cost of a workshop and a LOT of physical and emotional energy in working through your childhood/adolescent trauma, then you can feel almost like it never happened, in a week of hard work and many, many, MANY emotional purges.

It's been absolutely lifechanging for me. I really have no words.

It's like trying to explain psychedelics to a person who's never been in an altered state. Except that psychedelics are NOTHING compared to how meaningful and deeply healing this week has been for me.

If it could help you, I wouldn't want you to miss out.

I went there because I felt "held back", like I was pushing really hard to be more social, have a better dating life, and face my nervousness around public speaking, and all these things, but I still was feeling like I didn't 'deserve' to be doing that well, and was destined to keep backsliding. Like my superego, deep inside me was certain that I was supposed to be a neurotic person, not the awesome version of myself that I envisioned.

It's still very fresh and the dust hasn't settled yet, but I can already feel some profound changes. Neurotic thought patterns have diminished with 70%. I actually smile at strangers, wish them a good day, and mean it, from my heart. I have so much more trust in life. I used to distrust other men, viewed them as competition. Now I feel brotherhood. I feel reborn, like I had a whole new, perfect childhood with many naturally occurring friendships. And most importantly, the brakes are off. I have no doubts that I can get where I want now. And that I deserve that. And I feel very distant from the version of me that I used to be.

Something I found: self-esteem issues, anxiety, and addictive tendencies and the like have a cause. They started somewhere. Because small children aren't actually like that naturally. They trust life. They run up to children and ask them to play, without fear of rejection. But between age 0 to 7 you can pick up a lot of negative vibes and messages, both said and unsaid, from your environment, that just stick there in your unconscious, without ever being noticed, and fuck you over for the rest of your life unless you go back to them and process them properly.

I really have no words to convey how deep this process goes, except that I've gone pretty deep with psychedelics before and that's nothing compared to how meaningful and transformative this felt.

The therapist, Puja, who leads it is such a loving and skilled person, she's awesome.

If you're interested, I'm talking about the Primal Deconditioning Intensive at www.pujalepp.com . People I did the workshop with flew in all the way from the States, even Ireland. Expensive but so, so worth it. The next retreat date is somewhere in the fall, I believe.

 

If you decide to go for it, PM me and let me know what it brought you? I'd be sooo curious...

[billiesimon]

6 hours ago, flowboy said:

@billiesimon  I would make it a priority to heal that wound, then, that came to be around that age.

I just came back from a week of Primal Childhood Deconditioning and I feel reborn.

If you are willing to invest in the cost of a workshop and a LOT of physical and emotional energy in working through your childhood/adolescent trauma, then you can feel almost like it never happened, in a week of hard work and many, many, MANY emotional purges.

It's been absolutely lifechanging for me. I really have no words.

It's like trying to explain psychedelics to a person who's never been in an altered state. Except that psychedelics are NOTHING compared to how meaningful and deeply healing this week has been for me.

If it could help you, I wouldn't want you to miss out.

I went there because I felt "held back", like I was pushing really hard to be more social, have a better dating life, and face my nervousness around public speaking, and all these things, but I still was feeling like I didn't 'deserve' to be doing that well, and was destined to keep backsliding. Like my superego, deep inside me was certain that I was supposed to be a neurotic person, not the awesome version of myself that I envisioned.

It's still very fresh and the dust hasn't settled yet, but I can already feel some profound changes. Neurotic thought patterns have diminished with 70%. I actually smile at strangers, wish them a good day, and mean it, from my heart. I have so much more trust in life. I used to distrust other men, viewed them as competition. Now I feel brotherhood. I feel reborn, like I had a whole new, perfect childhood with many naturally occurring friendships. And most importantly, the brakes are off. I have no doubts that I can get where I want now. And that I deserve that. And I feel very distant from the version of me that I used to be.

Something I found: self-esteem issues, anxiety, and addictive tendencies and the like have a cause. They started somewhere. Because small children aren't actually like that naturally. They trust life. They run up to children and ask them to play, without fear of rejection. But between age 0 to 7 you can pick up a lot of negative vibes and messages, both said and unsaid, from your environment, that just stick there in your unconscious, without ever being noticed, and fuck you over for the rest of your life unless you go back to them and process them properly.

I really have no words to convey how deep this process goes, except that I've gone pretty deep with psychedelics before and that's nothing compared to how meaningful and transformative this felt.

The therapist, Puja, who leads it is such a loving and skilled person, she's awesome.

If you're interested, I'm talking about the Primal Deconditioning Intensive at www.pujalepp.com . People I did the workshop with flew in all the way from the States, even Ireland. Expensive but so, so worth it. The next retreat date is somewhere in the fall, I believe.

 

If you decide to go for it, PM me and let me know what it brought you? I'd be sooo curious...

Thanks! 

I'm gonna do some research on this interesting practice 

[flowboy]

@billiesimon  Cool!

This is an interview with her:

 

[kuma]

I have pretty bad social anxiety myself and I can say meditation has become a very good tool for recognizing thoughts. I watched How To Stop Caring What People Think Of You video before but it didnt stick like I wanted it to but I feel now that I am used to mediating I can see how much the want for validation hauts my mind on a constant bases. I think meditation is a way of assisting you with your thinking.

 

Good luck on your journey.

[Display_Name]

On 25/05/2019 at 4:38 PM, billiesimon said:

I want to change this and become social and fun with women/people. 

Will spiritual practices, kriya, meditation etc help me remove these blocks? I need to find a solution to my anxious thoughts about people judging me. 

Will spirituality free me? What do you recommend? 

Honestly? No. 

Trying to indirectly achieve something by doing something else never works. 

I've done pickup as well as meditation, yoga and psychedelics for two years now. I've had multiple awakening experiences. 

They never improved my game or my social skills. 

Meditation, inquiry and psychedelics lead to awakenings and insight into myself and life, and a following general reduction in suffering. 

Practicing my social skills improved my social skills. 

Practicing game got me laid and made me more confident. 

Unfortunately, it's that simple. 

If you want to get good at something, you practice that one thing. There's no shortcuts, no indirect bullshit. Be direct about it. 

Infact, if anything meditation and yoga worsens my social skills. It makes me quiet and up in my head. Too conscious, too self aware. Good game and social skills require turning off, action, uninhibition. 

 

But knowing this forum, most people will tell you it will help. It my experience though, and I believe I have the credentials to say this, it won't. A certain result requires direct action towards that result. 

Edited June 1, 2019 by Display_Name

[Rilles]

2 hours ago, Display_Name said:

Honestly? No. 

Trying to indirectly achieve something by doing something else never works. 

I've done pickup as well as meditation, yoga and psychedelics for two years now. I've had multiple awakening experiences. 

They never improved my game or my social skills. 

Meditation, inquiry and psychedelics lead to awakenings and insight into myself and life, and a following general reduction in suffering. 

Practicing my social skills improved my social skills. 

Practicing game got me laid and made me more confident. 

Unfortunately, it's that simple. 

If you want to get good at something, you practice that one thing. There's no shortcuts, no indirect bullshit. Be direct about it. 

Infact, if anything meditation and yoga worsens my social skills. It makes me quiet and up in my head. Too conscious, too self aware. Good game and social skills require turning off, action, uninhibition. 

 

But knowing this forum, most people will tell you it will help. It my experience though, and I believe I have the credentials to say this, it won't. A certain result requires direct action towards that result. 

Different techniques for different outcomes. You dont see a soldier doing Yoga in the middle of the trenches but he might do it in the barracks. Meditation helps with how you deal with rejection though, unconscious reaction: IM SUCH A LOSER BUHUHU conscious reaction: THESE ARE JUST FEELINGS ILL LET THEM RUN THROUGH ME AND THEN GO TRY WITH ANOTHER GURL

Edited June 1, 2019 by Rilles

[flume]

@billiesimon

I’m terribly shy as well.

Meditation helped me a lot to find an inner ground that can’t be shaken by the outside world anymore.
It’s still small but it’s growing everyday. 
I can recommend ‘The Six Pillars Of Self - Esteem’ by Nathaniel Brandon to learn and practice inner stability as well.

You might come to a point where you genuinely don’t have to rely on other people’s opinions about you anymore and it will be much easier to be authentic in social settings then.
If you have to retrieve till then, let yourself.
There’s a time and place to get back out of it and there’s a good chance you’ll love and appreciate people much more once you do.

Buuuuuut…. You can also dance around shyness and other obstacles quite a lot.
I do that all the time. It’s like a blind spot.
Especially when you’re alone, you might not realise a lot of things that are actually standing in your way.

So I’d say it’s a good thing that you recognise where you’re ‘stuck’. Of course to learn you must also practice.
Commit to doing something to push yourself out of your comfort zone everyday or every week.
Don’t overdo it, one step at a time. 

Maybe you’re also just not excessively social.
That’s fine. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
Many self help teachers portray the outgoing extrovert ideal, but that’s not the only valid way to go about life.
(Read ‘Quiet’ by Susan Cain if you identify as an introvert)

Together with mindfulness mediation and challenging yourself regularly, these books might make you more comfortable to go about social situations your way.