Agoraphobia

[Nadosa]

My unconscious, most recent obstacles are anxieties coming from a big subject I suppressed the last 2 years.

I've built my ego and comfort zone around my home and hometown, any thoughts related to "travelling", "going somewhere else", to places I feel alien to...trigger really bad and panicky feelings, this leads to a huge ball of resistance even if I am not at these places and just think about them. Followed by just feeling intensely trapped.

The thing is, due to awakening, I have lost like a grounding in my body, I cant really "trust" it as much as when I thought it was "me", so whenever I am at a place I cant find something calming to identify with, let's say in my home town I know every place so I feel way more relaxed and related to it.

But now, just thinking about going anywhere just keeps me spinning in circles in my mind: "I fear that I will lose any grounding point in my being, and walk around groundless, panicky, losing my self, there is nothing worse than the feeling of not knowing where to ground anymore".

When I am at a different place, I tend to feel like "I dont know where I am", and by saying that IT REALLY FEELS LIKE I DONT KNOW WHERE I AM. It feels like a temporary dissolution of self as long as I feel not grounded in this particular place. It can lead to a pretty traumatic disorientation. 

I really really want to know how to overcome this. Because it keeps me in a cage. A mental cage

Edited May 23, 2019 by Nadosa

[abrakamowse]

Do you do meditation? Did you try to observe your thoughts and let them go?