How do I approach this girl who is in a lower grade than me?

[Ampresus]

Hello everyone.

There is this girl who is one grade below me. Recently I have had an eye on her. We have never talked or hung out. I know I can approach her if we are private in the hallway, but that never happens.

I see her when we switch classes and my class gets to have her classroom. For a brief moment I see her.

I also see her during breaks. Now you might say that I should approach her during the break. Of course I have thought of that many times, but she is always with a group of friends. Me as a loner am always alone. Either reading in the media library or waiting in front of my next class. She and her group of friends most of the time eat in the canteen, somewhere I don't come close to while it is still Ramadan.

Any advice on how I approach this lower grade girl?

A classmate of mine told me how he got to date someone in a lower grade after I asked him after school. He said that he contacted her with social media. I, however, deleted all social media apps. It is mostly distraction for me. However, if you guys suggest this too, I could make an account again and try to contact her. After her answer for a date and (maybe) exchanging phone numbers, I will delete it again.

Edited May 23, 2019 by Ampresus

[Eric Tarpall]

Walk up to her and say "Allah says don't eat. But I would still eat you" Are you allowed to date non muslim girls?

[Omni]

6 hours ago, Ampresus said:

Hello everyone.

There is this girl who is one grade below me. Recently I have had an eye on her. We have never talked or hung out. I know I can approach her if we are private in the hallway, but that never happens.

I see her when we switch classes and my class gets to have her classroom. For a brief moment I see her.

I also see her during breaks. Now you might say that I should approach her during the break. Of course I have thought of that many times, but she is always with a group of friends. Me as a loner am always alone. Either reading in the media library or waiting in front of my next class. She and her group of friends most of the time eat in the canteen, somewhere I don't come close to while it is still Ramadan.

Any advice on how I approach this lower grade girl?

A classmate of mine told me how he got to date someone in a lower grade after I asked him after school. He said that he contacted her with social media. I, however, deleted all social media apps. It is mostly distraction for me. However, if you guys suggest this too, I could make an account again and try to contact her. After her answer for a date and (maybe) exchanging phone numbers, I will delete it again.

Pfft

Ask her in front of her friends. Perhaps even have an outgoing approach to it and say "Hey! how are you guys doing?" Fit in a few lines of small talk and proceed with "so, (insert name here) I was wondering if you were interested in going on a date, etc etc - important not to be too attached to the outcome here.

if you win the group, you'll likely win the girl. This isn't always the case but that's a clear indication of confidence and they will all pick up on that instantly, don't be super quiet and non-talkative, just play it casual as if they were already your friends.

If you're rejected don't walk away in shame, go along the lines of "no worries, figured I'd ask anyways. Have a good day guys - and if you change your mind you know where to find me" type shit.

Initial rejection doesn't mean you've lost her, she may reconsider "lost the battle but not the war, blah blah"
though don't take this as permission to act as a stalking creep if you are rejected, just be open to the fact that her one response isn't always permanent.

[SFRL]

2 hours ago, Eric Tarpall said:

Walk up to her and say "Allah says don't eat. But I would still eat you" Are you allowed to date non muslim girls?

Haha, you should follow that up with "mmmm let me think, which part will I take a bite of first". 

[SFRL]

8 hours ago, Ampresus said:

A classmate of mine told me how he got to date someone in a lower grade after I asked him after school. He said that he contacted her with social media. I, however, deleted all social media apps. It is mostly distraction for me. However, if you guys suggest this too, I could make an account again and try to contact her. After her answer for a date and (maybe) exchanging phone numbers, I will delete it again.

This day and age I think that is a legit way to deal with this situation. 

It avoids awkwardness on both your and her end. 

[Leo Gura]

@Ampresus Become friendly with her social circle in a chill, casual way. Tell them a funny story or something like that. Or ask them some opinion opener like, "Hey girls, I need your opinion on something..." and then think some interesting topic to ask them about like: "Does it count as cheating if my friend has a girlfriend but he's texting other girls?"

Something gossipy like that is good.

Then you can focus more on chatting her up individually. "Hey girl, you look like the biggest troublemaker of this bunch. It's the quiet ones which are the biggest troublemakers. Hey, has anyone told you yet how beautiful I am? ;)"

The biggest secret for attracting girls is simply to learn to be more social. Practice starting random conversations with strangers.

It's hella hard to build attraction through social media. Your odds will be much higher in person where you can charm her a bit with words. And it will build better charming skills for you.

In school girls most get attracted to the guys with the most social status. Being a loner is not helping your cause. It'd be better if you built a circle of your own friends. This shows you're a somebody. Then your odds will improve.

[bejapuskas]

Seems like you lack confidence, why should she trust you, if that's the case?

[Ampresus]

19 hours ago, Eric Tarpall said:

Are you allowed to date non muslim girls?

@Eric Tarpall I gave up the religion a long time ago. If I don't fast, I might lose my future investors (parents). Many people on this forum advised me to NOT tell my parents that I gave up on islam.

Although soefi's are cool.

[Ampresus]

19 hours ago, Omni said:

just be open to the fact that her one response isn't always permanent.

@Omni You are acting as if I have done this before. Only once. Rejected. I know of the possibility, I just don't want to keep it all in. Thanks for the advice.

[Ampresus]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's hella hard to build attraction through social media. Your odds will be much higher in person where you can charm her a bit with words. And it will build better charming skills for you.

@Leo Gura I am aware of this. I used to be like this a few years ago. One of the reasons I deleted social media. It forces me to be social.

 

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

In school girls most get attracted to the guys with the most social status. Being a loner is not helping your cause. It'd be better if you built a circle of your own friends. This shows you're a somebody. Then your odds will improve.

@Leo Gura I have been in many ''friend groups'', but I just start disliking the people at some point. Getting bored because of boring topics. I mean my class is divided with the troublemakers, ''losers'' (mommy's boys), girl-troublemakers, the always-English-speaking-in-class students, good girls and me and my introverted yet intelligent friend. Outside my class, I have only been part of the ''memers''. Lets just say it got boring pretty quickly.

Don't feel like fitting in any. Are you sure I need to be in a group to stand a chance?

[Ampresus]

4 hours ago, see_on_see said:

you developed some degree of one-itis and attachment

@see_on_see Elaborate please.

 

4 hours ago, see_on_see said:

Also, read books: Models by Mark Manson, 3% Man by Corey Wayne.

@see_on_see Already on that!

 

4 hours ago, see_on_see said:

Watch some RSD Todd/Max videos on daygame interaction and stuff. 

@see_on_see I find RSD being really ''THE SECRET 5 STEPS TO SUCCES'' kinda bs. I have figured out by now that quick-fixes are fiction.

[Ampresus]

33 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

Seems like you lack confidence, why should she trust you, if that's the case?

@bejapuskas Who said she should? She can always reject. Never insisted on her accepting.

[bejapuskas]

@Ampresus  Yeh, relationships are built on trust, if you don't trust yourself, nobody else can really trust you and will not want to have a relationship with you. 

[Adam M]

@see_on_see this

[Omni]

3 hours ago, Ampresus said:

@Omni You are acting as if I have done this before. Only once. Rejected. I know of the possibility, I just don't want to keep it all in. Thanks for the advice.

if you've only done it once before than this is practice, you're too focused on the end result. I'm not an extrovert, dealing with crowds drains my energy faster than any workout could. If you go in as "i'm gonna get rejected, she's gonna think i'm an idiot, what are her friends gonna say about me when i leave? Are they gonna tell the rest of the school?" then you've already lost the battle. 

You're still in school, you're a grade above her which in some context gives you hierarchical advantage, people are generally intimidated by any grade above theirs, if you miss out on this one then you leave with more experience, two rejections under your belt is better than one despite what you may think. You won't ever figure out what you did wrong if you succeeded and got her, therefore you'll never get good at it.

Go in with the intention of this being a win situation for you no matter what, you're no longer oozing with insecurity. You're focused on improving, in fact school is the best place to make these failures, despite any objection you may come up with. 

If you get the girl, then you get the girl, if you don't then you gained experience in a situation where you're uncomfortable - which is exactly what you need at this point, plus you have plenty of opportunity for other chicks and that rejection doesn't seal the deal, you can always try again, you're acting as if this one move will alter everything in some massive scale and putting way too much importance on it.

 

 

[flowboy]

15 hours ago, Ampresus said:

Don't feel like fitting in any. Are you sure I need to be in a group to stand a chance?

I find RSD being really ''THE SECRET 5 STEPS TO SUCCES'' kinda bs. I have figured out by now that quick-fixes are fiction.

If you keep arguing with advice you get, you are not letting people help you.

The fact that you need advice necessarily means that some of you beliefs are going to be incorrect. Or you wouldn't need advice. So be open to that.

[Ampresus]

8 hours ago, flowboy said:

If you keep arguing with advice you get, you are not letting people help you.

The fact that you need advice necessarily means that some of you beliefs are going to be incorrect. Or you wouldn't need advice. So be open to that.

@flowboy Ok lets do it your way.

[bejapuskas]

10 hours ago, flowboy said:

If you keep arguing with advice you get, you are not letting people help you.

The fact that you need advice necessarily means that some of you beliefs are going to be incorrect. Or you wouldn't need advice. So be open to that.

Yeh, when the ego starts choosing what to take in and what to neglect, that is a defense mechanism and you should be extra aware of the devil inside you. 

[Ampresus]

3 hours ago, Ampresus said:

 

11 hours ago, flowboy said:

If you keep arguing with advice you get, you are not letting people help you.

The fact that you need advice necessarily means that some of you beliefs are going to be incorrect. Or you wouldn't need advice. So be open to that.

@flowboy Ok lets do it your way.

 

@bejapuskas